Jesus - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am the Lord your God. I have existed for all time, so I can't really say how old I am. I created the earth in six days and I think that mankind was my finest creation. That Eve broad really screwed things up though. Definately don't call me Allah. I'm not into people blowing themselves up. I'm really into love and forgiveness. I don't like swearing very much, it's not "godly". I think people should go to church all the time. Satan is always sneaking around trying to screw up good people. I think he an Allah are secretly in cahoots. What jerks. I try to be nice to them though.

My Interests

I like creating things from thin air. It doesn't really take that much effort if you are a god. I like billiards, and soccer, mostly non-contact sports. I also like chicks, contrary to what some mortals think I am a white man.

I'd like to meet:

I love all people. If you read the bible you will see that I've chilled with tax collectors and prostitutes. Technically I KNOW everyone, but I would like to meet you all up at my place one day. Say your prayers and be cool. There should be a section "people i'd like to smite". That would be muslims. They keep trying to destroy Israel and all the Jews. Those are my chosen people! You dumb Rabs, cut it out or I will smite you. Go Israel!

Music:

I created all music. But I admit that some forms are better than others. Christian rock is horrible. Christian Rap is where it's at! Those guys are some real homies.

Movies:

I like comedies. I invented laughter, it's the best. Passion of the christ was horrible, I was there, it was nothing like that.

Television:

Actually, I don't like Tv, Satan runs the media, bastard...

Books:

The bible of course. I inspired the entire thing. Look for the red text, those are actually my quotes.

Heroes:

That's just silly, I am THE ALMIGHTY GOD, who am I supposed to look up to?