Paulâ„¢ profile picture

Paulâ„¢

God helps those who help themselves.

About Me



Reasonably intelligent, reasonably funny, reasonably normal guy who uses the term 'reasonably' very loosely. Please refer to my "Truth About MySpace" blog to interpret my photo. From it, you will learn that I am fat, ugly and quite possibly, a Ninja.

My Interests

Design; wine; cars; F1; music; film; running through the house with scissors and getting away with it (don't tell YOUR MOM, see below); interior design (apparently, since I've now designed our kitchen, theater and bathroom - yes bathroom, and no, I'm not gay); single-malt; fitness; humor-wit-sarcasm (combine them all and I'll follow you around like a puppy); dance (not because I'm good at it -- I suck at dancing unless drunk, and even then I still pretty much suck -- but because I'm the proud father of two very beautiful little Ballerinas); photography; I'm getting back into golf, but I pretty much suck at golf unless drunk; cuisine (eating someone else's cooking) and cooking (eating my own cooking); finding new and creative ways to work the word "nary" into everyday sentences; nice, chewy Cabernets; did I mention design?; ice-cold martinis and finally, ::sigh::, INTELLIGENT PEOPLE -- that is, if such things exist ... By the way, and just FYI, my ballerinas are more beautiful than your ballerinas.

I'd like to meet:

People who are emotionally secure. Grown-ups. Anyone who can manage to type their whole MySpace profile ("But it's so many words!") without littering it with basic spelling errors.Also, funny people. Witty people. Creative people. Funny creative people. Witty funny people. People who can string two sentences in a row without making a grammatical error. Those who appreciate the importance of power-washing the undercarriage. Anyone who employs semicolns effectively; semicolns are cool. Folks who commit egregious life-blunders and revel in the learning of it all. People who are clearly rational about their considerable irrationality. Anyone who thinks like this: "I am not a team player...just let me fucking get it done and all you idiots go have a drink, okay?" Oh, and that "annoying motherfucker at the gas station that is always trying to wash Shannon's windows". I like that dude.

Music:

Some Favorites: Tori Amos; Radiohead; Neil Finn in all his incarnations (Split Enz, Crowded House, Finn Brothers, solo); Tool; The Cure (but not the happy fast crap, the slow, brooding stuff written by Robert Smith - think Disintegration and Bloodflowers); Coldplay; Portishead; Deftones; Natalie Merchant (but not the happy fast 10,000 Maniacs crap, the slow brooding stuff written by Natalie Merchant - think, um, Natalie Merchant); Chris Cornel in all his incarnations (Temple of the Dog, Soundgarden, solo, Audioslave); Christina Aguilera (the only half-naked, fake-rack Pop diva that can actually sing); Linkin Park; Bush; Paul Weller (in all his incarnations, well, except for the Jam); U2; Alice in Chains; REM; Wilco and Uncle Tupelo; Sarah McLachlan (I can never remember how to spell "McLachlan"); Brian Ferry in all his incarnations (Roxy Music, solo); Metallica; Dishwalla; Chevelle; Counting Crows; George Michael (yes, really, and no I'm not gay)...also a smattering of Classic Jazz: Miles Davis, Stan Getz, John Coltrane, Dave Brubeck...a smattering of Classical, mostly Impressionist: Debussy, Satie, Chopin (but not that fast happy crap, the slow, brooding ones - think Nocturnes)...but nary a smattering of Country! Notice how I did that?

Movies:

Some faves: The Departed? No, no. BABEL. The Squid and the Whale; All the Real Girls; Brokeback Mountain (Yes, really, and no I'm not gay. You people who can't see past the homosexuality ...GROW UP. This is a fantastic movie); Pulp Fiction; Magnolia especially, and anything by Paul Thomas Anderson; the latest movies directed by Clint Eastwood, but especially Mystic River; American ("It's just a fucking couch!") Beauty especially, Road to Perdition and anything by Sam Mendes - recently, Jarhead; Speaking of Jake... Donnie Darko; Pretty much anything by Ron Howard; Resevoir Dogs; Momento; Mulholland Drive; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Anything by Tim Burton; Beautiful Girls (A little-known and much underappreciated movie by the late Ted Demme. Have you ever seen anything cuter than Natalie Portman in that movie?) Speaking of whom...Closer, Mike Nichols nailed that one; Swingers, but only because I'm the guy behind the guy behind the guy; am I the only one who laughed hard during Mr. and Mrs. Smith? That movie was funny!; Lately I've reluctantly started to appreciate the comic prowess of Vince Vaughn; I want to be Ed Burns when I grow up because of movies like Sidewalks of New York, Brother's McMullen, etc. but also because he married the most beautiful woman ever; Garden State, ....and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Hey, you can't be cerebral 100% of the time. (For you internet brainiacs, 'cerebral' means that you think about it, like with your mind and shit).

Television:

The damn DVR is makin it easier for me to watch some TV again. Damn. At least it's on my own schedule. Californication hits a little too close to home for comfort. Good TV though. Weeds; Entourage; Nip Tuck, though it often borders on gratuitous; Risking sounding gay again (are you paying attention Kerrie?), I dig Gilmore Girls - wittiest banter on TV without question. "I ate the fuzzy Certs I found at the bottom of my purse. It tasted like keys"; Southpark - as juvenile as it can be what with talking poops and such, it's one smart show. "I've got alcoholism"; The Food Network - a lot; Lately, I've discovered Arrested Development via DVD. Why do all the smart shows get cancelled? Another show canceled before its time, available on DVD: Aaron Sorkin's Sportsnight. Rebecca: "There's nothing about you I don't hate." Dan: "Yet you're mysteriously drawn to me." Rebecca: "Yes."

Books:

This month: iCon; Love Monkey (Kyle Smith is my new hero) and right now: Carly Fiorina: Tough Choices. How boring is THAT? Also, have you ever noticed how much Emerson can say with so few words? It's crazy. Oh, and everything by Dr. Seuss. Dr. Suess rocks.

Heroes:

Thom York, musical genius; Tim Burton, oddly creative film maker; Danny Carey, percussion genius; Chris Bangle, but only for having the balls to suck so much, so publicly; YOUR MOM, because all of you put your mom in this field, and I figure 100 million of you can't be wrong; Steve Jobs for complicated reasons that are completely boring but are nonetheless my own - Steve, if you're out there somewhere, you're a genius, my friend; any folks .. that know how to correctly use "your" and "you're", "to", "too" and "two" and especially those with command of "there", "their" and "they're"; Anyone who has had the stamina to read my profile page this far; Giorgio Armani, a man who sets the standard for classic design; the the masters at Pininfarina for decades of consistency; all internet scholars who respect and avoid the humiliation of ending a sentence with a preposition (where are all of you scholars at?); Shannon and Molly for being diamonds in the rough; the folks at Pixar - the most creative people in Hollywood are in Emeryville; and FINALLY and MOSTLY, anyone comfortable enough in their own skin to be true to themselves 100% of the time, no matter how others judge or question, point or laugh. Do YOU know anyone like that? And don't tell me, yes, it's YOUR MOM. I ain't buyin it. If you DO know someone like that and they're not your mom - though it's ok if they are someone else's mom - send me a link. Also, here's an extra closing parenthesis ), for good measure, because I'm pretty sure mine are unbalanced up there somewhere, I think in the movies section. Now get out of here and "go dance like no one's watching" ya freaks.

My Blog

The Day I Spent a Week at Coachella

I'm getting asked a lot, "where is your blog on Coachella?  How was Coachella?"  Blah, blah. So, I thought it would be a good idea to post something now, even though it is very much a w...
Posted by Paul" on Fri, 05 May 2006 09:55:00 PST

Ignorance is indeed, bliss.

  "Look at Moe.  He's like the mental patient that doesn't know he's mental, so he's perfectly content." ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- The premi...
Posted by Paul" on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 11:58:00 PST

The Perfect Valentines Day Gift

Fall, fourteen years ago, there were two days in Manhattan.  The MOMA and the Met.  Oh good, there is a Magritte exhibit.   Cool. Who is Magritte?   The guy painted paradoxes.&nbs...
Posted by Paul" on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 08:46:00 PST

Speed Dating - Myspace Style

or "Blogs are the New Bulletins"   Type your FIRST REACTION, or second, when you hear these 35, um no, 36 things:1. I Need : Less MySpace surveys2. Sex : I don't understand the question3. Relatio...
Posted by Paul" on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 01:20:00 PST

Successes Don't Generate Any New Information

For my entire career, Ive been involved in the development of products.  Product-development is a bit more complex than most people realize, involving research, engineering, material science, in...
Posted by Paul" on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 01:40:00 PST

The IS.

Ok, now I've done it.  I posted shit about shower heads and Obviouses ("Ob-VEE-us-eeze" or Obvii?) and now I've got a bunch of readers and I'm feeling all this pressure to deliver.  I need a...
Posted by Paul" on Fri, 13 Jan 2006 05:36:00 PST

The Mixed Blessings That Are Fixed Shower Heads

Soon after we moved into the house we're in, I replaced the fixed shower head in the Master Bathroom with one of those shower-massage heads that you can take off the wall and hold in your hand. A...
Posted by Paul" on Wed, 04 Jan 2006 11:31:00 PST

Very cool animation of very cool song by very cool band stolen from very cool chick.

Thanks Jane.http://www.koreus.com/files/200408/radiohead_creep.html Watch the whole thing...
Posted by Paul" on Mon, 02 Jan 2006 07:31:00 PST

Comment Rules of Engagement

Here are the rules for leaving comments on my page: 1.) If it's big and sparkly, it will get deleted. 2.) If it's little and sparkly, it will get deleted. 3.) If it's big and a cartoon, unless it's re...
Posted by Paul" on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:55:00 PST

Jamie's Bulletins

My friend Jamie (http://www.myspace.com/authenticspirit ) posts her "Daily Motivation" as a bulletin and I've decided to publish some of them here.  Normally, I don't care for motivatio...
Posted by Paul" on Tue, 22 Nov 2005 10:46:00 PST