waaaaah! profile picture

waaaaah!

house arrest is for pussies.

About Me

Today I was driving around doing my errands and I spotted a dwarf crossing the street. As I looked closer, I realized she was also Mexican. I sat at the light and wondered how many points I would get if I ran her over. Cause it'd be like...

My Interests

$10 salads, a nice pinot noir, a positive balance in my checking account, bloody marys, brunch, caffeine, calling "bullshit", candy, casting my pearls to swine, comment deleters, cooking thai food, diffusing bombs, dodging bullets, dope beats, downy sheets, faking orgasms, free shit, gerber daisies, grabbing you by the balls and twisting, havin' dranks, Interpol, lipgloss, my 'roos, necromancing, NYT crossword, the Onion, pretending I know everything about nothing, remixes, running from my problems, sanity, starting something and never finishing it, sets and reps with Kirk Moore, scary movies, shanalogies, shit talking, the skycam, stella, taking my bra off after a long hard day, text messages after midnight, the theory of energy, tivo, tide with downy, touchdown dances, twirling my hair, underdogs, wondering where it all went wrong, wool scarves, yoga, your moment of zen, alphabetizing my lists of interests.

I'd like to meet:

People on the internets that can tell me how to find hot wealthy men and true love and hip ringtones. in my area. I don't understand my comments either.

Music:


Television:

the dog whisperer

Books:

the economist, filter

Heroes:

hector garcia

My Blog

news in brief

Woman Masturbates to Concept of CommitmentPortage, MI-Soaking in her bathtub Tuesday, area resident Linda Marston, 32, pleasured herself over the thought of a long-term committed relationship.   ...
Posted by waaaaah! on Sun, 13 May 2007 09:40:00 PST

be part of the problem, not the solution.

I won't go into the details of yesterday morning, but I will mention the fact that it involved a crackhead dragging my sister's scooter down our gangway, the police questioning me in the front ya...
Posted by waaaaah! on Fri, 04 May 2007 11:03:00 PST

muscle relaxers + pot = brain of 3 year old

Don't try to roast marshmallows over the open flame on top of your stove.  Especially don't do it if your smoke alarm is connected to the Brinks Security Center.  Cause they WILL send the co...
Posted by waaaaah! on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 07:43:00 PST

a rerun, but worth it...

this is probablylike the 5th email I ever sent ot Jes...I don't know why she still talks to me.  Prolly cause I roll good joints... ..>   (NO MAN SHOULD READ THIS) Current mood: giddy ...
Posted by waaaaah! on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:52:00 PST

sex toys: a review

Spring is right around the corner.  The tulips are budding from patches of the cold chicago ground, the dirty mounds of snow sprinkled with dog piss are slowly melting, puffy ...
Posted by waaaaah! on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 09:26:00 PST

striped shirt guys: a documentary

North of North Avenue there lies a genus of species (latin: stripus dooshbagus) which basically keeps me from crossing the border from Wicker Park into Lincoln Park, Lakeview and even sometimes Buckto...
Posted by waaaaah! on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 10:34:00 PST

late excuse

Anyone that lives around here knows it's colder than a witches' tit.  T'is why I have been getting a ride downtown with my sister lately.  Otherwise, I am stuck waiting for the #66, (which s...
Posted by waaaaah! on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 11:34:00 PST

interviewing versus dating

I don't really think there's much of a difference.   Interviewing versus a parole hearing...not much difference there either.  Each time I interview I imagine I'm sitting...
Posted by waaaaah! on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 05:10:00 PST

black santa

I'm just gonna take this one for a spin and see if it works. I was invited to go to a Christmas party in Miami by a friend.  By friend I mean FWB and by invited I mean I'm a high-class hooker.&nb...
Posted by waaaaah! on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 04:54:00 PST

have a happy period.

What the fuck kind campaign ad is that? How much money did they pay some asshole (most likely not a woman) to come up with that?  I wanna know, I REALLY wanna know, who h...
Posted by waaaaah! on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 06:43:00 PST