Ritah profile picture

Ritah

Call the Betty Ford Clinic and tell 'em to fluff the pillows cuz momma's comin' home!

About Me

Profile Edited by MyHelpPlace.net MySpace EditorI am an actress, writer, stand up poet, voice talent, and part time belly dancing superhero. I'm all over five star hotels and room service. Camping -- not so much. I mean, I know how and everything. It's just that my ideal vacation does not feature sleeping on dirt. Hate mushrooms - they taste like dirt. Olives too. Not much of a foodie in general but I do love chips and pico and I wouldn't kick a good lasagne out of bed. Love Dave Chapelle, Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, Sarah Silverman, John Stewart, and Rickles, of course. Anti-Love Republican tight asses. Also have zero tolerance for people who try really hard to look like they're not trying really hard. Slow-Talkers get on my last good nerve. I think Borat is very nice. I love the NBA and I'm always ready for some football. There's nothing like a Disco Nap. Sidebar: I'm a total wino. ..

My Interests

Shameless self promotion. I'm also a book fanatic. Favorite authors include but are not limited to: Harry Crews, TJ Boyle, Larry Brown, Rick Moody, Joyce Carol Oates, Flannery O'Conner, and AM Holmes. Love seeing fringe theatre and stand up comedy. I like to dance around my living room in my underpants. I heart karaoke and "all skate" but am terrible at both. I dig scary rides. Love surprises. I like to lie in bed and do the crossword while someone makes me bacon. If you hate cats you can tell your story walkin' pal. Love I Love Lucy and Gumby. I knit like a bastard. And if you can't make me laugh I'm fairly confident I don't want to know you.

Music:

Beck, Stevie Wonder, PJ Harvey, Jolie Holland, Joe Jackson, English Beat, White Stripes, Parliament, Prince, Beth Orton, Poe, Liz Phair, The Roots, Chemical Brothers, Beastie Boys, PEACHES! Chet Baker, The Clash, Laurie Anderson, Pavement, Lambchop, Brassy, James Brown, Elvis Costello, David Bowie, Miss Peggy Lee, Southern Culture on the Skids, Morphine, Aretha Franklin, Richard Cheese, Miles Davis, Heffner, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Reverand Horton Heat, Al Green. This just in: I have officially fallen in love with Nouvelle Vague.

Movies:

Living in Oblivion, Goodfellas, The King of Comedy, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, All About Eve, Mommie Dearest, The Omen, The Night of the Hunter, Fargo, The Petrified Forest, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 40 Year Old Virgin, The Nutty Professor, Cinderfella, It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe? Film Geek and Addison's Wall. Tron. AND, Bubba Ho-Tep -- damn I loved this movie. Watch for The Auteur!! -- not just cuz I'm in it, cuz it's damn funny.

Television:

The (American) Office, Daily Show, The Colber Repor, Strangers With Candy, SNL, The Prisoner, Night Gallery, Curb Your Enthusiasm, anything on the murder channel (aka Court TV), and over the top Lifetime movies about substance abuse. Sponge Bob Square Pants and HR Puffinstuff. Kids in the Hall. Twilight Zone. And AbFab, sweetie-dahling.

Books:

Of Human Bondage, Madame Bovary, Because it is Bitter and Because it is my Heart, Geek Love, Sons and Lovers, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Big Bad Love, Barrel Fever, A Good Man is Hard to Find, Suicide Blonde, The Ice Storm, Liar's Club, Car, The Safety of Objects, too many to count....

Heroes:

Lucille Ball, Imogene Coca, Leather Tuscadero, Gilda Radner, Lilly Tomlin, Mel Brooks, Wonder Woman, Steve Martin, Beck, The Notorious E-N-I-D, Susie Girrrrl, and Zachy-boy. And, daily life dare-devils -- people who do what scares them.

My Blog

Another year older - same old shit

Today was an interesting day. I had to get in a cab and visit my tax accountant (I file an extension every year so I can almost finish paying off the year before  I have to start a new payment ag...
Posted by Ritah on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:33:00 PST

Love my new lipstick. Hate my bloated ass.

Every woman over forty will tell you that getting older is no walk in the park unless she's a dirty liar or has the Susan Sarandon gene. I thought I was getting the hang of it. Sure, when I got my fir...
Posted by Ritah on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 08:53:00 PST

NANO + Ritah = True Love

Ahhhhhhhhh, nano. Nano, nano, nano. My hotpantsy BF got me a nano for my birthday. This is one of the thousands of reasons that I love him. Others include (but are not limited to) putting up with my d...
Posted by Ritah on Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:49:00 PST

I’m officially getting OVER MYSELF -- but it’s a process....

Okay, okay, I get it. Nobody likes "sad clown Ritah." I am on the caper. Nothing keeps me down for too long -- that's what SHE said. Anyway, I am busy crawling out of a rather deep and murky hole. The...
Posted by Ritah on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 09:08:00 PST

Mommie Needs a CAR

I am turning into an evil bitch. No, that's not right. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION is turning me into an evil bitch. I have had just about enough fucking humanity to start packing a piece. Where has my comp...
Posted by Ritah on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:22:00 PST

WOW

http://www.devildj.com/Wazzup ritahlife is short, dont have a small cock all your lifeemrah hosley~That's what was waiting for me when I got to the office this morning.
Posted by Ritah on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:06:00 PST

I’ve got a thing or two to say about a thing or two...

The title is misleading and not on purpose. I just realized (right this moment) how mad I am. Grrrrr. So, I sent out this very big girl bulletin about my voice narrating a film that was ...
Posted by Ritah on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:28:00 PST

Performance Art For Free

Today I walked up to 4th Ave. to get my bus home from work and I had just missed the first 9 so I realized it was going to be a while before I could get the next 9 (aka - the stinky murder bus) s...
Posted by Ritah on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 10:26:00 PST

This Week’s Highlights

My, my, my. It's been an interesting week. Here are the highlights in no particular order: ~Wrote a brand spankin' new short story for my new collection and edited another one I wrote last week. I'm s...
Posted by Ritah on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:58:00 PST

Tastes like SPAM

Here is the headline on the SPAM I got at the office today, ready?"Improve sperm flavour!" (European spelling of "flavor" is a nice touch.)Here's my response:"Unless it's Cabernet flavor Mommie's not ...
Posted by Ritah on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 01:08:00 PST