The Shit

The Shit Reform !Legendary east London comedy punk terrorists Pete Duel & The Shit play their first gig in 22 years this Saturday. Bev Ridge, Neal Istic & Nige Narcotic will perform as a duo, as one of them is bound to forget.Long time fans should note that Pete Duel will not be appearing at this show. He replied to Narcotic's invitation with a two word email "Im unreformable". We think he misunderstood the question. This isnt the first time Pete's failed to understand plain English. After a shambolic PDS gig at the Chingford Girl Guides Disco in 1981 where he drunkenly arrived on stage naked claiming "I knew Id forget something", Istic suggested that for the next gig the band should be tighter. Misunderstanding perfectly, Duel turned up for the Billericay show having drunk a bottle & a half of Jamesons Irish whiskey. "It was quite a challenge, Neal, but I reckon Ive done it" he slurred before throwing up over drummer Dan Singonasaturdaynight. He later claimed it came up as smoothly as it went down. Unfortunately for Duel's bank balance he didnt hear back from Jamesons advertising agency.We have been unable to contact Dan about the reformation. After the band split he emigrated to drink Canada dry. He has since forgotten every word of English and none of us can speak Canadian. He has apparently just got married though, which really pissed off his girlfriend even though he said she could be bridesmaid.The Shit: Acoustically Pissed will take place at the Nelson pub in Norwich on August 6th to help the bands musician, Bev Ridge, celebrate his 40th birthday. Ridge appears unconcerned that The Shit could be a little rusty having not played together since 1983, reckoning "We used to get so pissed we never played together anyway. If we manage it this time it will be a first". Rehearsals beckoned. Ridge called Narcotic & they reminded themselves of the songs for 15 minutes over the phone, after which Nige said "OK I think Im ready". Bev's suggestion that they actually have a brief get together before the gig prompted notoriously work-shy Narcotics delusional response "too much rehearsing will damage the spontaneity - anyway Im sure the lyrics will come back to me when Ive had a few beers".So the time has come at last. Following PDSs farewell gig in Newport in 1983 (where the audience consisted solely of nine children, all of whom currently earn a living in the Goldie Lookin Chain), Pete Duel & The Shit have finally succumbed to literally several requests in the last two decades and once again take the stage. And no doubt as many free drugs as they can blag. The band will perform an acoustic selection of their (s)hits including Aint Got No Money (The Suicide Song), Pete Duel (You Are Oh So Cool), & their political opus We Are The Shit.There is no admission fee but everyone who comes along must bring Bev a present. He's not fussy but has stated a preference for Class A. Ridge's headmistress sister Penny has promised to bring along Class 5C.