Well I live out here in the Pacific Northwest and my entire family (what's left of it) is back in Montana. I refuse to go back to Montana because it is next to impossible to make any money there. The slowdown is nice, but often too slow. I miss and love my sisters something crazy and get to see them...not ENOUGH!! My mother is crazy and that must be why I love her so much. She just isn't ready to grow up. I'm not mad at her. It just forced me to do it for her. My dad, well--he's emotionally retarded so not much to say there. I have a beautiful son that I am so in love with and he is 4 years old. I can't believe where the time has gone. He has gone from baby to Not in the blink of an eye. Makes me sad and full of joy all at once. I work really hard and have decided that it is time to put some of that effort into playin hard. I have recently realized that I was living the life of an old person and decided I was gonna put some spunk back in my life. I am not out there tryin to make friends and please other people, gettin wrapped up in the crap (my own included), cuz I am passed all of that. I am just tryin to add fun to my life which, until this point, has been non-existent in my life. I'm not tryin to cause problems or out to get ya.... So if you see me out and are wonderin what's goin on, I am here to tell ya that I am just having fun. So talk to me if ya want, hang with me (cuz I think I'm okay) or just leave me alone, which is okay too. Cuz it's just me deciding that I'm not ready to lay down and die yet. Not Yet. Not for anyone.....Peace and love to ya....T
Oh, here's a little poem I wrote for whomever thinks I might give a shit what they are thinking.
I can’t Play tha Part
Why don’t you tell me what you thought upon my first approach. I’ll bet you felt threatened that my presence could encroach.
Let me inform you of how wrong first appearances may be. Cuz even though you see me, you may never know the real me.
Maybe I’ve been places your world will never allow you to see. And that’s why you see what you do…that’s why you judge me.
But I have sat in front of the judge, and he’s much scarier than you. You don’t even faze me…Shit, I barely notice you.
Believe me when I tell you that my entire surroundings are seen. To put me in a category is your ignorance, for I’m much too keen.
You don’t warrant my attention...please don’t think I’m concerned. Because to me you mean nothing unless your something is earned.
I see so many people and usually they act one in the same. So feeble the little minds, playing each other’s fucking game.
I’ve learned a long time ago that being myself is all I’ll ever be. Please people, be concerned with yourself…cuz I don’t care what you think of me.
I’m sure you’ve had your life lessons, and I’m not here to figure them out. Because what other people have done, or are doing, I care nothing about.
So remove me from your canvas of drama that you are so comfortable to create. Because I won’t be part of your high school endeavors…even then I wouldn’t partake
~Tavia Blume 12-something-2006
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