Since reading The Secret, I've dedicated my life to asking the universe to give me things via the not-at-all-spurious Laws Of Attraction (they're laws, alright? You couldn't call them laws if they didn't work). Hence, the second my submarine moors up out the front next to the bins, it'll be sayonara for you clowns.
I'd like to meet:
No-one "meets" anymore. That's what the intermawebs 2.0 is for, to avoid dealing with people. You freaks.
Music:
McLusky at one end, Mountain Goats at the other. You know, all the indie stuff that people with sideburns and ironic t-shirts love: Pixies and related, Smiths/Morrissey, The Shins, PJ Harvey, Auteurs/Luke Haines/Black Box Recorder, Magnetic Fields et al, Bowie, Lloyd Cole, Boards Of Canada, Stereolab, They Might Be Giants, Grandaddy, Blonde Redhead, Neutral Milk Hotel, Sage Francis, Pharaohs, Ripe, Yo La Tengo, Elvis Costello, My Bloody Valentine, Go Betweens, Ladytron, Sleater-Kinney, Sonic Youth, Wire, Olivia Tremor Control, Dresden Dolls, Housemartins/early Beautiful South, No Through Road, Flat Stanley, Jesus & Mary Chain, Guitar Vader, Low, Belle & Sebastian, Spoon, Butler-period Suede, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Andy Prieboy/Wall Of Voodoo, Pop Will Eat Itself, Leigh Stardust, Robyn Hitchcock/Soft Boys, Apples In Stereo, Duffield-era Models, Pulp, Adam Green, Breeders, The Weakerthans, XTC, Jolie Holland, Okkervil River, Les Savy Fav, Pernice Brothers, Swervedriver, Modest Mouse, We Are Scientists, Flaming Lips, The Redsunband, Pizzicato 5, Girls Against Boys... still reading? No you're not.
One thing about MySpace: have you noticed how only indie and dance nerds put these sort of lists of bands? If I had a dollar for every profile I've seen with "I love all music except heavy metal and rap" or "rnb and house!!!" then I'd have made a solid $7.50 this week alone.
Movies:
If there's every been a bad film that's involved some sort of giant killer shark, I haven't seen it. The same applies to komodo dragons. Maybe even more so.
Television:
Mr Show, Daily Show, The Micallef Programme, The Colbert Report, Kids In The Hall, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Black Books, Spaced, Arrested Development, Futurama, Simpsons, Strangers With Candy, BrassEye, The Brak Show, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Fry & Laurie, Family Guy, The Mighty Boosh, Flying Circus, Peep Show, The Tick (animated), The IT Crowd, The Day Today, Upright Citizen's Brigade, League Of Gentlemen, South Park, Venture Brothers, Man To Man with Dean Learner, Snuff Box, Green Wing, The Office (UK and US), that sort of thing.
Books:
Vale, Mr Vonnegut. So it goes.'A History Of The World In 10 1/2 Chapters' and 'Flaubert's Parrot' by Julian Barnes. 'A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius' by Dave Eggers. 'The Wasp Factory' by Iain Banks. 'American Gods' by Neil Gaiman. 'London Fields' by Martin Amis. Anything by Alan Moore. Adore Kurt Vonnegut and annoy his many other admirers by arguing, correctly, that 'Galapagos' is his best book. Just started reading loads of Paul Auster and want to know why I've missed him so far, despite my wife's frequent praise of his work. Wish I could write like David Sedaris. Peter Carey's 'A True History Of The Kelly Gang' is pretty rad. Just read Dawkins' 'The God Delusion', and while I can't fault the reasoning I'm not sure that now's the best time to pick fights with religious nutjobs. There's a lot of them at the moment and they seem pretty feisty, if the news is any indication of how things are panning out.
If you haven't read 'Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit?' yet, I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the book I'd have read if I was a lot funnier and if I was able to turn my fury at the modern world into biting comedy rather than sobbing into a pile of filthy towels. Alan McArthur and Steve Lowe are geniuses. Angry, angry geniuses.
Also, a lot of overdue maths books from the library. Yes, I'm trying to learn maths. No, I don't think that needs explanation.
PS: maths is hard.
Heroes:
Not as good as Lodger or Low, as far as Bowie's "Berlin" period goes. See what I did there? Hot cha!
