Ryan

I make stories. Born son of Michael, brother of Darren, Leslee is my mother and Run is my pal. Vegetarian. And yes that means no fish, chicken, beef, pork, meal worms, whatever. Having fun is high on my "to do" list. I have no real talent for anything except perhaps procrastination and losing the things that are important to me. Yet somehow I manage to be happy all the fucking time. What the hell is wrong with that? Nothing if you are a robot. At one time I was proud to have earned the nickname Ryborg for my stoic facade. Letsee, other menial shit. I like: grapefuit; grapefruit soda; grapefruit and vodka; dance dance revolution; eating breakfast; making out; going to bed early; staying up late; getting up early; sleeping in; modern furniture; losing at poker; getting loud; watching baseball; playing hockey; adult swim (Sealab2021, SGC2C & Home Movies) people watching; Beef Taco; Mr. Floofers; Herschel (rip) and Albert (rip) the hamsters; ginger ale; whiskey; ginger ale & whiskey; candy corn; those three weeks every spring and fall in Tucson where you need neither your air-conditioner nor your heater; sweaters; cheese; and watching the live rock and roll. But not watching the four crap ass opening bands. I am too old for that anymore. Give me one awful opening band and then on with the show. It's late and I have to go to work in the morning and the later I stay the more I will have had to drink which is directly proportional to the increased desire to start chain smoking. When I get lung cancer I am coming after you crap opening band. You know who you are. Be forewarned; I know two lawyers now.There are lots of things I don't really understand. Right now the adage "have your cake and eat it too" comes to mind. Exactly what else are you supposed to do with a cake?My olfactory system is my favorite of all of my systems, though that is like picking a favorite kid. Smells that I hold dear are: skunk; coffee; Gilroy, CA; pasturelands; strippers; B.O. (the hard days work kind, not the unbathed hippy kind); campfires; and thunderstorms. Allergies kick my ass sometimes. I can cook but don't because I hate doing dishes even now that I have a dishwasher.Things are looking up for me. I can feel it in a non-new age kind of gut instinct way. The way you know when you shouldn't walk down that street at this time of night or that maybe someone you are into might have some similar feelings. I am the best landlord around and I still have all my teeth!