Jacked Rabbit

I have a short attention span but I have learned to use it to my advantage.. I am a multi-tasking, priortizing queen..I love a challenge (it helps me conquer self doubt).. I have a potty mouth and will turn any and all moments into something sexual-for the most part, you can pretty much count on it... I love red wine and kissing..and BEER, shit, I LOVE beer..my house is clean but my closets are a complete nightmare!...i have two of the most amazing children you will ever meet (and Im not just saying that cuz they're mine.. it's true)..I LOVE my friends... I cannot say enough good things about them... I am God (and you thought you were, Dieffenbach).. My best friend is a scandelous whore...but I love her.. so does everyone. I just got cable for the first time in many,many years.. it has been 6 hours and I am a zombie already.. ahh. shark week (yeah, no. too much f-ing money for shit! Got rid of cable within 6 months!) when I grow up I wanna be a personal trainer and make lots of money and hard bodies. I have too many animals. I hate food on my skin and I never allow anyone to feed me. I hate it when people say 'what?!?' when they don't hear you.. it sounds abrasive.. it makes me wanna cry (after I bitch slap them). I can't spell worth shit! I LOVE watching people (especially girls who wear shoes that look good but make them walk like they have a stick up their ass.. or sometimes they walk like Gene Simmons of Kiss in his big ass platform boots. Seriously, check it out.) one day I would like to travel with the bare essentials and see parts of the world... i hate the phone (except texting).. mashed potatoes and gravy, fish and chips, fruit and yogurt, buffalo chicken... a few of my favourite foods..DON'T CALL ME FUCKING CUTE! when I was a kid I loved the smell of dirt so much I wanted to eat it.. so I did.. I loved the way it crunched between my back teeth.. and I love the smell of a musty cellar.. I would eat raw potatoes just to taste the dirt..i love to dance.. haven't done it in so long.. my cat is puking in the corner right now.. wonderful! gotta go!I will let Josh Bob tell you a bit about me (he wrote the following after working with me for many years):I sing of Mum; who, in the delicate balance between all things divine and terrestrial; Graciously bellows in ethereal melody. A voice so boundlessly eloquent in its shrill brevity... It surely leaves none unmoved.I sing of Mum; who, in the delicate balance between all things passionate and proprietous, lovingly bestowes noursishment among the hungry Delectible sustenance forged by knowing hands, acute in their trade. They surely leave none starved.I sing of Mum; who, in the delicate balance between libido and legacy, attains a posterior with the firmness of frozen tofu Thighs, two spawns strong, with enough snap to trim the hedging on the Gate's estate, surely leave none soft.I sing of Mum."