JORDU SCHELL profile picture

JORDU SCHELL

www.schellstudio.com

About Me



I be lovin' the monsters. That's it, kind of. Relaxing with some good music, hanging out with friends. Lying on the couch with the greatest female on Earth watching movies. Oh, I also make my living making monster crap, as you can see.

Turn of the Century Tri-Eye Mutant that me and Kenny were scared of. Mom and I still think he ate Carl.

Pappy sent me into the garage that night and he yelled at me real real loud when I came back in without the rake like he told me to git. But then he seen I was ascairt o' somethin', so he went on into the garage figurin' on seein' a rat or somethin', but he never came back out. Ever.

My Interests

Little Beef !!! Actually, this is a picture of my little snake-bite, also known as Sharon Ross, a woman I met 15 years ago (!) and who has shown me the true meaning of grace, serenity and love. Little Beef! She hates my driving, though, so I guess I still have more to learn about grace and serenity. I hate her outfit in this picture however, so I suppose we're even. Whatever. Flip Flap!! Snonky! Steak and Cheese! FlipperJaw! Beef and Meat! Snake and Cheese!

I'd like to meet:

Fay Wray (Y'know, alive and stuff...oh, and from the King Kong era....) God, if such a concept exists.... Kitaro, Tangerine Dream (the old group from the 70's). Tracy Chapman, Ray Crock. Me as a teenage kid about 14 or so. I would tell him to stop being so scared of girls and shit. Oh, and to avoid certain ones that would come along in the future. Jim Henson, Abraham Lincoln, Halle Berry---she wants to meet me too, I bet---Tom Cruise so I could sucker punch him in his plastic teefs, Donald Trump's money, Deuter, John Serrie.......I dunno.

Movies:

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, VIDEODROME, THE BROOD, DAWN OF THE DEAD, CREEPSHOW, DEAD RINGERS, THE FLY (YOU'RE JEALOUS!!), A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, GOODFELLAS, TAXI DRIVER, THE WIFE, DEAD MAN, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH, DEATHDREAM, THE BELIEVERS, THE EMPIRE STRIKETH BACK UPON YOUETH, EWOKS SMEARED HORRIBLY ACROSS TIME, KING KONG (1933, THANK YOU VERY MUCH), FRANKENSHTEIN, THE CREATURE FROMETH THE BLACK LAGOON, FERRIS BEULLER'S DAY OFF, CHINATOWN, ROBOCOP, THE TERMINATOR, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, SE7EN, BOWFINGER, THE GAME, GLENGARY GLEN ROSS, HOUSE OF GAMES, OLEANNA, JAGGED EDGE, FATAL ATTRACTION, ZOMBIE, THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE, THE THING, EDDIE MURPHY: RAW, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE EXORCIST, BEYOND THE DOOR, AUDITION, ABBY, IDAHO TRANSFER, ORDINARY PEOPLE, BEING THERE, TERMS OF ENDEARMENT, HEAVENLY CREATURES, CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, JACOB'S LADDER, CARRIE, THE SHINING, CHRISTINE, I DRINK YOUR BLOOD, SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE (HEY, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE ONLY REAL SUPERMAN IS CHRISTOPHER REEVE...I MEAN COME ON...), PLANET OF THE APES, E.T. (SORRY, SAW IT WHEN I WAS 14), BLADE RUNNER, ALIEN, MONSTER, HARRY POTTER FLICKS (SORRY, SAW THEM WHEN I WAS 35) FIGHT CLUB, SSSSSS! (YUP, ACTUAL TITLE...Y'ALL OLDTIMERS KNOW WHAT IT IS), POLTERGEIST, JAWS, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (THE FIRST ONE ONLY, LOSERS), HALLOWEEN (DITTO, LOSERS), VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (THE ORIGINAL),

Television:

Oh, I just LOVE Friends and American Idol and Survivor and anything with good-looking Hollywood Phonies!!! NOT.

Books:

Lord of the Flies, Skeleton Crew, American Psycho, Cronenberg on Cronenberg, O. Henry Prize stories, The Year's Best Horror Stories, A Glow of Candles, Joyce Carol Oates, Truman Capote, Theodore Sturgeon, H.P. Lovecraft, Jack Ketchum

Heroes:

Dick, Rick, Quarge, Flopulard, Flanksteak, ChrispyFlesh, ToiBoi, Ed, Krem, Creeton, ByBy, Mummy and Deady

My Blog

Troll Rampage

It was like something out of a movie: An enormous, 13-foot tall ogre-like creature stomping down La Cienega Blvd. But it was no movie, and it was no parade with floats and fancifully colored balloons....
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:39:00 PST

Stan Winston

As many of you have already heard, the Special Effects Industry has lost one of its most iconic contributors, Stan Winston. After a long and quite secret battle with cancer, Stan succumbed on Sunday, ...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:59:00 PST

Speed Racer: The Film

There were periods during my viewing of this film where I was lying on the floor of the theater. I was that bored. I mean this quite literally. I WAS LYING DOWN ON THE FLOOR OF THE MOVIE THEATER. My f...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Mon, 12 May 2008 10:57:00 PST

London Class

Got back a couple weeks ago from teaching a class in London, and just had to post about it.... I had the fortune of teaching an extraordinarily humble and fun group at Neill Gorton's studio during my ...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 04:38:00 PST

The Believers

Hey, I have a great idea! Let's NOT, actually, allow the movie reviews I promised so long ago to slip completely through the cracks! We'll continue with "The Believers", a chilling tale of voodoo ...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 07:00:00 PST

Dr. Cereal: Chocolate City

Alright, Goddamit. I have been in seclusion too long, doing my best to get by in an insane world. But I have returned, and I am here to inform you of what the haps are in cereal products. It would...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 06:27:00 PST

Videodrome

Next up: VIDEODROME. Long live the new flesh.With an astonishing string of excellent horror and dark sci-fi movies, David Cronenberg ranks as one of the true supreme masters of the genre. While his fi...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 11:20:00 PST

DVD'S

By the by, all movies reviewed are available on DVD unless otherwise noted....-----------J
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 08:16:00 PST

Let's scare us some Jessica, yeah?

"I sit here and I can't believe that it happened. And yet I have to believe it. Dreams or nightmares? Madness or sanity? I don't know which is which"..... So begins one of the finest, eeriest little h...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 08:14:00 PST

DEATHDREAM

Does anyone remember (or care) when somewhere in the vicinity of seven-and-a-half billion years ago I posted a blog about the ten most underrated horror films of all time? Well, I am finally ready to ...
Posted by JORDU SCHELL on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 07:40:00 PST