Squirt and Flirt

Hi, we are Flirt and Squirt. We're Red Eared Slider turtles who kick extreme ass. We live in a jungle-esque habitat and have secret life-styles that our owners don't know about. My girl Flirt is quite the well rounded woman. She has legs of power though, don't let her fool you. She flirts with me, and just when I try and get lucky, she kicks rocks at me. But I have the dogding skills of a fox and should have been named 'Leaping Tiger' instead of 'Squirt.' I am a hottie though, I am fit and have pecs of steel to crush anything smaller than I am. I have an agressive mate though, she is the constant tease. Did I mention our home kicks ass? It was even better two weeks ago until Flirt ate the plants and clogged up the filter. That's all right though, our owners blamed each other and cleaned it up. First rate service I tell you.