Ranev Sadoma Dark --
[noun]:
The Dark Business. Does not believe that love is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Does what she can for the world. Helps those who want and deserve it. Tell the rest to find peace elsewhere. Only relies on truth and love and music. Not people, cos they are unreliable. Not material things cos all will fade away. The end.
I love my life. I love my person. I love what I do and who I have become. I am an original creation of every person that I have ever met. I love the beautiful in life. It's everywhere. I love romanticizing what comes off as ugly.
I am certainly not perfect.
But for the first time in a long time,
I embrace my imperfections.
I am enhanced by my flaws.
And that makes me feel all the more beautiful.
I am sarcastic. I am blunt. I am vague. I am funny. I am talking. I am speaking. I am listening. I am hearing. I am odd. I am certain. I am unsure. I am nothing. I am everything. I am your worst nightmare. I am your most pleasurable dream. I am talented. I am proud. I am capable. I am useful. I am trustworthy. I am memorable. I am who I am. But I will never be a regret.
I want to live my life and do beautiful things. I want to go to school and study. I want to do theatre, studio art, music, Latin, religion, speech language pathology, photography, dance, creative writing. I don't know where I'll go. I might stay around here for a few years. Long enough to get some money. But I plan on moving to Pennsylvania, or New York. City, or state. Mostly state. I want to live in a little apartment with my beautiful piano. I want to walk the city streets with a pad and charcoal. I want to sit on a park bench and read something beautiful. I want to drive out of the city and spend the night lying on top of my car, listening to the stars. I want to be in a studio or a theatre. I want to live off of coffee and cigarettes. I want my fingers to be stained with watercolor and acrylics, and callused from writing and smoking. I want to grow my hair out and wear dresses with jeans and boots. It's what I want... for at least a few years. I just want to live my life and help the people that want it and need it. I want to love. I want to be.
I used to think that friends were over-rated but I was a cold and cycinal person. Now, I just say to know who you can trust. And if it turns out you shouldn't have, learn, and move on. Don't keep trashy people in your life. But life your life pure and true and you'll learn in time who is worth keeping around.
People that I enjoy spending time, people that I will make time for almost anytime
KEVYN M
KRISTEN R
ERYQ J
STEFFANI G
SHYA LM
LORI M
DEREK R
ADAM G
SYDNI H
Neices and Nephews and second cousins.
all of 'em.
The twenty or so small children that are a part of my life... I love them all and they make me want to have a baby.
To Shya. Even when I move off to New York, I never want to let you go. What's it been, now? Eight years? You mean more to me than I let show.
To Lori-Lynn. I love you. You've been there for my entire life, and then some. I have known you for as long as I can remember. And I have always looked up to you and I want to live my adult life in much the same way you currently do. I miss you every day.
To my mother. I love YOU. My poem, J'aime Me Mere, is to you in every way. I don't know what I would do without you. You make me laugh and smile and think and you're one of the few people that still has the power to bring me to tears. You have given me so much and have given up so much for me and I love you all the more for it.
To Kevyn. I love you for your faith and devotion, for your plans and goals, for your ideas, for your passion. For the way you are able to love and the way you hurt. The way you feel. I love you for who you are and what you can do to me. You are there when I need you. And I am always here when you need me. Truly.
To Steffani Rae. I'm sorry for any of the ways I have ever hurt you. I don't live my life trying to lie or break promises. But things grow and people change and the future is unknown. That's why promises don't work. However, I appreciate all the fun times you gave to me and how much you contributed to my "teenage girl" experiences.
To Derek. We have a lot of good memories. We grew a lot together. I've done some growing up, outside of our friendship. I hope you never stop growing and learning. Because there is so much to learn. The world is full of things to know and do. I hope you realize that it's not just your little bubble that revolves around your big head. Thanks for the inside jokes, late night phone calls, good times, parallel life, and midnight escape. Thank you for your forgiveness and your friendship. "Friends come and go. TRUE friends go and come back."
"I try my best to rid these thoughts,
Of you and I it’s so hard.
When you come to me,
I fall back on my knees.
I learned to hate love.
You kiss me on the cheek,
You say you’d never make it without me.
It’s getting harder everyday."
aha dirtiest song lyrics EVER. you know....
To Adam. I have felt a lot of different things for you in these past five years. Indifference, love, appreciation, hate, etc. But for the past year, I think I have been pretty steady on love and appreciation. You are always available for a good laugh or an open ear. Any time spent with you is always a good time. Thank you.
To Just Rick. You are so amazing. You brought music to my life and helped me grow as a person. You showed me how beautiful life can be, and how beautiful I am. I appreciate everything you have done for me.
To Nicolas. I do love you and I appreciate you putting up with me for the longest time and everything you do for me. I will always put up with you! Your joy brings me joy, your despair brings me despair, your confusion brings me confusion, your embarassment makes me laugh my ass off. And I love you. Go live your life and be happy. But remember that you will never be truly happy without me ;] haha.
