One fine day, I would like to learn how to dance The Madison. I'm into conceptual spelunking, anthropomorphic automobile design, lethally hot food, hypothetical sandwich construction, unusual cloud formation, callipygian women, cartoonish science-fiction futurism, all manner of fast and bulbous pursuits, laughing, bad horror films, cheesy true-crime novels, the classics, uh, um ... friends seen and unseen, to you that is riding along in your automobile, to you that is sitting round the table, I greet you with the holy word: Peace. Yes, I am what I am, and that is all I am, for I am it. And with my infinite mind, I thinks constructively. For your mind is my mind and my mind is your mind and I am sending out my Christ mind to you, you and you. And I am able to draw whatsever I want into my immediately surroundings. Call up a friend now, and tell them that Prophet Omega is on the air ... Christmas is approaching, and it's later than you think. You wants to be preparing yourself for chillun's goods and your goods.
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I'd like to meet:
Well, I am in a very happy and satisfying relationship, but I do like smart, beautiful, warm, engaging, funny women. I don't have one of those gaping holes inside me where I'm looking for my missing puzzle piece or the stunning goddess who completes me or any of that Jerry McGuire shit. And, oh, yeah, I like friends, too. Would you like to be my friend? Also, historically, I've been somewhat of a complete spazz when it comes to finding people to play music with, as in "file under: social retard." I'd like to change that, too.
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Music:
Brian Wilson, Brian Wilson, Brian Wilson. And, Samuel Barber! Also, Scott Joplin, Captain Beefheart, Parliament/Funkadelic, Pavement, Hank Snow, Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, George Gershwin, John Coltrane, Mississippi John Hurt, Leo Kottke, Marvin Gaye, the Soul Stirrers, Animal Collective, Ulrich Schnauss, Billy Childish, Kayak, Brian Eno, the Lyres, Public Nuisance, Frank Jordan, Yo La Tengo, the Kinks, the Beatles, ABBA, Louis Armstrong, Lotte Lenya, Webb Pierce, Lightnin' Hopkins, Carlos Paredes, Os Mutantes, Huun Huur Tu, Miles Davis, Kraftwerk, Nina Simone, Ron Schmeck, the Cheap Suit Serenaders, Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Roy Orbison, the Meters, Bill Deal & the Rhondels, Joy Division, the Cure, Interpol, David Houston, Cake, Deathray, Th' Losin Streaks, Daisy Spot, the Proles, Las Pesadillas, Al Jolson, Bing Crosby, Santo & Johnny, Johnny Cash, the Cash Money Niggas, NWA, Basehead, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, the Ramones, My Morning Jacket, Cal Tjader, Moe Bandy, Eleni Mandell, Dwight Yoakam, Dwight Twilley, Big Star, Cheap Trick, William Ackerman, the Carter Family, Johnny Horton, Patsy Cline, k.d. lang, Merle Haggard, Buck Owens, Wynn Stewart, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Mel Torme, Little Jimmy Scott, Blossom Dearie, Todd Rundgren, Lucinda Williams, Shelby Lynne ... I could go on and on. Charles Ives, J.S. Bach, Debussy, Ravel, Steve Reich, Stephen Blumberg, the first Montrose album. Desmond Dekker & the Aces, fer chrissakes. Marcel facking Marceau.
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Movies:
Idiocracy, Starship Troopers, Mulholland Drive, V for Vendetta, Goodfellas, Casino, Godfather 1 and 2 but not 3, Magnolia, Wild Guitar, The Harder They Come, Donnie Darko, Office Space, Jean Cocteau's La Belle et La Bete, Land Without Bread, Satan's Cheerleaders, On the Waterfront, Chinatown, Glengarry Glen Ross, Devil Dog: Hound From Hell, Desperate Living, Mudhoney, Common-Law Cabin, Drunken Master II, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeosie, Carnival of Souls, Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Dolemite, Peetie Wheatstraw, Disco Godfather, Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song, Blackula, Dracula, Frankenstein, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, Invaders From Mars, Them, Gojira, Triumph of the Will, The Producers, Putney Swope, Dazed & Confused ... (more later)
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Television:
Dragnet (the ones with hippies, especially), Columbo, Kojak, Banacek, The Streets of San Francisco, South Park, Cops, The Lefty Rosenthal Show (used to watch it before Monday Night Football when I lived in Vegas in the '70s; later it turned up in Casino), SCTV, The Dean Martin Show, Green Acres, Twin Peaks, Star Trek, Adam 12, The Honeymooners, just about any telenovela on Univision, just about any game show on Univision, Jeopardy, Dark Shadows, Ultraman, Strangers With Candy, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, MTV's The Real World, Easy Living with Ron Schmeck, plus choice Foxaganda offerings: The O'Falafel Factor with Bill O'Falafel, Insanity & Comatose, How to Talk to Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple (Because We Must), etc.
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Books:
The Iliad, The Odyssey, The Aeneid, The Histories, A History of the Peloponessian War, A Confederacy of Dunces, Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, VALIS, A Scanner Darkly, How to Speak Dog, The Devil's Dictionary, Psychotic Reactions & Carburetor Dung ... (more later)
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Heroes:
Jack Webb. Ignatius P. Reilly. Achilles, Hector, Odysseus, Themistocles, etc., etc., through to Peetie Wheatstraw and Dolemite. Y'know. the continuum.
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