Rob profile picture

Rob

I am here for Friends

About Me

I enjoy the same mind-numbing, emotion-suppressing garbage everyone else does -- unless you're one of those people who goes outside and climbs on top of things or in any fashion interacts with nature. I have no patience for nature.

My Interests

I enjoy music, movies, TV and books. Also the hockey (Lightning) and the football (Bucs) and the football (Everton).

I'd like to meet:

anyone who doesn't actually exist, such as: vampires, werewolves, or astronauts. plus anyone rich (i love to steal).mainly I want to meet people who will leave reponses to blogs. if they also happen to be werewolf astronauts, then that's a nice bonus.

Music:

Look for my Best of 1997 list coming in June 1998!

Movies:

Godfather and Citizen Cane -- I know that's so insanely predictable but they really are good. It's like saying Radiohead is a good band ... it's so *everyone* but also they are very good. Um, okay movies. Being John Malkovich. Ghost World. American Beauty. Magnolia. Big Lebowski. Rushmore. Oh and obviously the work of Bergman ... wait is that his name? I hope I'm not getting people mixed up. I mean that guy from LA Law, not the visionary Swedish director many consider The Master whose ouevre contains the seminal works in cinema regarding faith, death and love. That Shichinin no Samurai (pretentious use of the foreign launguage title used for ironic effect) isn't half bad either. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is the best movie about a cabinet ... well except that one about the Lion and the witch. I have to give the lion one the edge because it wasn't responsible for Hitler now was it? Basically the older and foreigner a movie gets the more I am likely to pretend I like it. Amelie is okay I guess, Les Enfants du Paradis is more like it, Un Chien Andalou is not only old, foreign and makes no sense but some painter dude was involved so that's gotta score me some points right? L'Age d'Or? I also believe Freddy Got Fingered is a genuinely great movie. Will you marry me?

Television:

Buffy. Seinfeld. Simpsons. Curb. Daily Show. Conan. Six Feet Under. Gilmore Girls. Chapelle Show. MST3K. Mr Show with Bob and/or David. Aqua Teen. SHOUTOUT! Sea Lab. Venture Bros. Arrested Development. Ali G. Nathan Barley. Freaks and Geeks.

Books:

The only book you need to read is my book. I haven't written it yet but rest assured it's pretty damn fantastic. In the meantime I suppose you could read some Updike or something. The truth is I am such a media snob I'd be horrified to leave anything off a full list -- conversely I am also too lazy to bother formulating a complete list. Hence this cop-out answer. ENJOY!

My Blog

things what are on the internet

The Internet is big. Despite that I often assume people have seen everything I have seen on the Internet. This is probably not true. Therefore I present to you "Things I Have Seen On The Internet Late...
Posted by Rob on Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:07:00 PST

We Could Have Had An HDTV

"... it somehow seems to me that matrimony is misery simply a faster way to die."We are married. Everything went surprisingly well considering I was involved. The goal, a very cheap informal wedding, ...
Posted by Rob on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 05:09:00 PST

I am half a man so I write half a blog ... this half is about a hotel!

While I will note that the Holiday Inn Downtown Vancouver was undergoing renovations at the time of our stay, it was nonetheless one of the more unsettling hotel stays I have ever experienced. At firs...
Posted by Rob on Fri, 16 Jun 2006 10:18:00 PST

The Mexicans are on to something.

It has been a long time since I've written a blog, nothing interesting has happened in months, but I feel like it is time to break my silence on an important matter...There is no better way to celebra...
Posted by Rob on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 09:42:00 PST

four years ago today -- insults, insults, and/or insults

I am too lazy to write a new blog and since the last time I did a "five years ago today" blog it was beloved by all (I heard one person actually read until the end!) here are some other stories from m...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Head Transplants and Exorcisms

Dr Robert White's Head Transplants A controversial operation to transplant the whole head of a monkey onto a different body has proved a partial success. The scientist behind it wants to do the...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Porn Stars and Scientology

I'd never clicked on that "rank" button on MySpace before. So I click on it and it ranks humans for me (saving me the time and trouble of ranking them myself). Most of the "Top 25 women" on MySpace di...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Job Interview / Movie Watching / Nothing Else

Let us imagine that you are Jesus and you play a video game where the goal is to make life as frustrating as possible for people on earth. You play this in order to practice your real job of making p...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Black Magic / Hookers / I'M BLIND! ... and hungry / Cemetary Rampage / Guns ... the usual

LONDON (Reuters) - A British court found two African women guilty of child abuse on Friday after hearing how one of them beat a schoolgirl with a high-heeled shoe and rubbed chilli pepper in her eyes ...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

God Hates Sweden; The Pope is in Hell; Robot Sex Dolls

Robot Sex Dolls (That link has nothing that I haven't quoted below here, I'm just including it so you know it's not lies like everything else in my blog.)A German inventor claims to have created the w...
Posted by Rob on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST