7bluestars

I'm rather unusual (some would say enigmatic) in that I'm a scientist with degrees in chemistry and physics, and an agnostic witch who experiences rather than believes.

I was an agnostic existentialist from my teens until about 10 years ago. Then my beloved father died, and it became clear that I needed to fill a spiritual void that had been hiding in the shadows until that heart-rending time of unspeakable grief. I set about shedding all the layers that had accrued during my first forty years and what I found at the core was a tree-hugging, tender-hearted animal lover and science nerd who needed more than math, science, reason, and logic in order to feel whole. I found the Nature-based spiritual paths intriguing, and after much research and deep thought, concluded that I'd been a witch all along; some of it didn't sit well at first, things like reincarnation for example, but I've adjusted and am now quite capable of giving such things due consideration (it helps to read books written by board-certified physicians and psychologists who are on staff at major learning institutions, in addition to other ostensibly credible authors). The great mythologist Joseph Campbell taught me why many of us need spiritual sustenance of some kind, and probably fomented the epiphany that came to me one day in a flash of inspiration: I finally understood that the notion of absolute truth was an unattainable ideal, and that all I really needed was something that felt intuitively right for me in my own, very small universe of existence. When I realized that and decided that heart and soul must be equal to head in the triumvirate that makes me something other than a simple lump of flesh, I was well on my way to finding the right path.

As far as I'm concerned, paganism, of which Wicca is a sub-set, is all about Nature-based metaphors and reaching within to become more aware of the great mystery that is without. Reason and logic prevail, as they must, but I don't demand proof or absolute truth; as for faith, I leave that to those who find comfort in it (and sometimes envy them as well), and simply allow myself to explore and experience.
Pantheism is glorious, but for right now, I need the ritual and the inner explorations I'm getting with the myth-based spiritual path. Much of what we pagans do involves meditation and other exercises that are good for the mind; I find that aspect particularly appealing and even challenging.
I try to keep up with the happenings of the John Templeton Foundation as well. One of the most brilliant physicists to ever pass my way turned me on to this remarkable US-based organization. It is administered and tended by an impressive group of brainiacs from widely-varying disciplines; these highly intelligent, passionate people have been charged with the daunting task of diminishing the schism that has long isolated science from the world of spirituality. It is an important goal, especially now.

Perhaps the day will come when I do indeed feel whole, and not in a transitory way, but at all times, no matter what trials and travails come before me as I continue on this journey. We shall see...