For a good time, call Mrs. Pyxylplk .
The MySpace Tao According to Kelly:
If you sent me a friend request, and I haven't responded, be patient. I am a profoundly lazy person, and - like your average three-month-old - am capable of spending large amounts of time being amused by my toes. This keeps me from doing pesky things like checking my friend requests and leaving the house and writing novels.
If you sent me a friend request, and I denied you, know ye this: I'm easy. So the chances are, you're either selling something, or there are little video clips of copulating people on your page. And before you get all high-and-mighty about free speech or whatever, know ye also that it's not that I'm not into that. It's just that I'm not into that.
If you sent me a comment and it didn't make it up, this is probably because it's either wicked long, wicked graphic-heavy or wicked animated, and in addition to being wicked lazy, wicked easy, and wicked just-not-into-that, I'm also wicked impatient and wicked sick of waiting a wicked long time for people's wicked-tricked-out pages to load. Taketh this not personally.
It's generally agreed upon that the Party Shuffle on my iTunes is unlistenable unless you're me. On it, one will find the following: Everclear, Cracker, Sisters of Mercy, Eminem, Nirvana, Van Morrison (particularly Them-era Van Morrison), the Eels, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Leonard Cohen, Morphine, Slow Dazzle, Camper Van Beethoven, Pulp, The Postal Service, Modest Mouse, Skinny Puppy, The Cars, Moby, Front 242, The Wallflowers, Razed in Black, Nada Surf, The Killers, Weezer, James McMurtry, Marcy Playground, Rilo Kiley, and Social Distortion, as well as assorted silly goth and country music. I'll add more as they occur to me.
We're All In This Together by Owen King; Reproduction Is The Flaw Of Love by Lauren Grodstein; Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke; His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik; East of Eden and Sweet Thursday by John Steinbeck; Voodoo Heart by Scott Snyder; Perdido Street Station, The Scar, and Iron Council, by China Mieville; Case Histories by Kate Atkinson; Snow Crash and Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson; To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee; Coraline by Neil Gaiman; Last Call and The Anubis Gates by Tim Powers; The Last Picture Show by Larry McMurtry; the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman; Faith For Beginners by Aaron Hamburger; Deception by Denise Mina; The Tooth Fairy by Graham Joyce; The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem; Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain; Dogsbody by Diana Wynne Jones; The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett; The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan; The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon; the Abhorsen books by Garth Nix; Sunshine and The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley; Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey; The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier; The Secret History by Donna Tartt; A Purple Place For Dying by John D. MacDonald (because that was what I was reading the day I met tall, dark and handsome , and also because John D. kicks butt); The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton; and much, much more. I could do this for hours, people.