Esteban - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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"For too long, spirituality existed on a cushion in an ashram. For too long, spirituality meant austerity and denial of the senses. Rasa challenges us to think and live differently and embrace a new paradigm where ones inner Buddha, inner Mecca, and inner altar can relax, do yoga and continue to work, play and flourish in the present world.".. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- START YOUTHINK.COM QUIZ RESULTS --
What Combat Weaponry Are You?
L-96 Sniper Rifle
Preventing a situation from escalating is in your favor as an up-close fight would result in almost certain defeat, however if you know its going to happen you'll hit first and with little warning. You like a fight on your terms and will generally wait patiently for the right moment for an unsuspected strike.

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I couldn't take living in the US anymore so I'm living in Mexico. My inner being has a craving that I can't deny; to surf, to paint, to meditate and to basically fuck off while swinging in a hammock while eating bananas and papaya.

My Interests

"KubyKewe", 30" X 72", mixed paint on old door, Feb. 18, 2007

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet the perfect woman. Wants to buy me a whatchamacallit for my birthday. Is good at the shit that I like best. Positive with a sense of dark radical off/over the line and edgy humor. Will I lower my expectations? I should say not. Not on your life. I think she may be right around the corner standing next to the peaches while she eats an apple and waits for me.

"Chrome Baby" 30" X 80" Oil on wooden door; used baby doll; painted Feb. 10, 2007

Music:

Door #3 of twelve. Recycled doors from Gail Drive, Baton Rouge, LA Just painted Dec. 24, 2006, 36" X 30", Oil base paint on wood door

Movies:

Four Wind lyrics by Bright Eyes:
Your class, your caste, your country, sect, your name or your tribe
There's people always dying trying to keep them alive
There's bodies decomposing in containers tonight
In an abandoned building where Squatters made a mural of a Mexican girl
With fifteen cans of spray paint and a chemical swirl
She's standing in the ashes at the end of the world
Four winds blowing through her hair
But when great Satan's gone... the Whore of Babylon...
She just can't sustain the pressure where it's placed
She caves
The Bible's blind, the Torah's deaf, the Qur'an's mute
If you burned them all together you'd get close to the truth
still They're pouring over Sanskrit on the Ivy League moons
While shadows lengthen in the sun Cast all the school
and meditation built to soften the times
And hold us at the center while the spiral unwinds
It's knocking over fences crossing property lines
Four Winds, cry until it comes
And it's the Sum of Man slouching towards Bethlehem
A heart just can't contain all of that empty space
It breaks. It breaks. It breaks.
Well I went back by rented Cadillac and company jet
Like a newly orphaned refugee retracing my steps
All the way to Cassadaga to commune with the dead
They said, "You'd better look alive"
And I was off to old Dakota where a genocide sleeps In the Black Hills, the Badlands, the calloused East
I buried my ballast.
I made my peace.
Heard Four Winds, leveling the pines
But when great Satan's gone... the Whore of Babylon...
She just can't remain with all that outer space
She breaks.
She breaks.
She caves.
She caves.

Door # 5 30" X 60" Oil base with Crystal Doorknob

Television:

I admit, at times I watch TV. Overall, the TV culture SUCKS. Look what it's done to democracy. Sound bites control the masses thru TV. God it's worse than meth. Seinfeld, Penn and Teller, the John Stewart news, most however is garbage made for when you are going thru a stupid stage. Or as I have learned lately, when your mind and body are tired and you don't want to do the dishes.

Books:

I Am Waiting
By Lawrence Ferlinghetti
I am waiting for my case to come up
and I am waiting
for a rebirth of wonder
and I am waiting for someone
to really discover America
and wail
and I am waiting
for the discovery
Of a new symbolic western frontier
and I am waiting
for the American Eagle
to really spread its wings
and straighten up and fly right
and I am waiting for the Age of Anxiety
to drop dead
and I am waiting
for the war to be fought
which will make the world safe
for anarchy
and I am waiting for the final withering away
of all governments
and I am perpetually awaiting
a rebirth of wonder
I am waiting for the second coming
And I am waiting
For a religious revival
To sweep thru the state of Arizona
And I am waiting
For the grapes of wrath to stored
And I am waiting
For them to prove
That God is really American
And I am waiting
To see God on television
Piped into church altars
If they can find
The right channel
To tune it in on
And I am waiting
for the last supper to be served again
and a strange new appetizer
and I am perpetually awaiting
a rebirth of wonder
I am waiting for my number to be called
and I am waiting
for the Salvation Army to take over
and I am waiting
for the meek to be blessed
and inherit the earth
without taxes
and I am waiting
for forests and animals
to reclaim the earth as theirs
and I am waiting
for a way to be devised
to destroy all nationalisms
without killing anybody
and I am waiting
for linnets and planets to fall like rain
and I am waiting for lovers and weepers
to lie down together again
in a new rebirth of wonder
I am waiting for the great divide to be crossed
and I anxiously waiting
For the secret of eternal life to be discovered
By an obscure practitioner
and I am waiting
for the storms of life
to be over
and I am waiting to set sail for happiness
and I am waiting
for a reconstructed Mayflower
to reach America
with its picture story and TV rights
sold in advance to the natives
and I am waiting
for the lost music to sound again
in the Lost Continent
in a new rebirth of wonder
I am waiting for the day
that maketh all things clear
and I am waiting for retribution
for what America did to Tom Sawyer
and I am waiting
for the American Boy
to take off Beauty's clothes
and get on top of her
and I am waiting
for Alice in Wonderland
to retransmit to me
her total dream of innocence
and I am waiting
for Childe Roland to come
to the final darkest tower
and I am waiting for Aphrodite
to grow live arms
at a final disarmament conference
in a new rebirth of wonder
I am waiting
to get some intimations
of immortality
by recollecting my early childhood
and I am waiting
for the green mornings to come again
for some strains of unpremeditated art
to shake my typewriter
and I am waiting to write
the great indelible poem
and I am waiting
for the last long rapture
and I am perpetually waiting
for the fleeting lovers on the Grecian Urn
to catch each other at last
and embrace
and I am awaiting
perpetually and forever
a renaissance of wonder

Heroes:

Moon City: Door #4, Dec. 25, 2006, 80" X 24", Oil base paint on wood door.

My Blog

Circus Clowns in the Dust of the new Depression Era Wagons

Monkey man crosses over the three ringsand joins the other 292 aging crippled clownsdecked out in caskets that stand upright withlittle short legs that walk in short steps allin tune with the band as ...
Posted by Esteban on Fri, 30 May 2008 09:48:00 PST

Just a passing thought influenced by the lack of beer

Contrary to popular beliefthe amount of people on earthhas nowjust recentlyafter that last horrific stormafter the tsunamibefore the comingattack of antsand kocroachesthe roaming hordes of fleasI'm tr...
Posted by Esteban on Thu, 29 May 2008 05:57:00 PST

Huffers in the Jungle

I finally found the perfect place to live. It's sort of at the end of the road. It's the main road through town but it ends at a river that empties to the sea about a quarter mile further. It's quiet ...
Posted by Esteban on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 08:48:00 PST

She Can Live on $300 US a month and live well!

You know how it goes, there is never enough time in the day to get it all done. Besides, I didn’t come down here to hump it. This place is very nice, not perfect but close. Been waiting for Te...
Posted by Esteban on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:51:00 PST

Sometimes it almost feels spiritual

Flowers abound as you round the corner from the big hotel a quarter mile away. Their place is on the left hand side of the road, on the mountain side of the beach road. I drove up the arroyo and next ...
Posted by Esteban on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 07:31:00 PST

At the End of the Electric Line

Over the loudspeaker came the familiar sound of Julio's voice announcing the days local interests. A lady from San Blas was here selling clams and a few small fish. I walked over to his house where ...
Posted by Esteban on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 10:01:00 PST

Shootin Lights, Squirrel Meat and Going Ballistic

I don't know much about squirrels but after moving onto this half acre woods with five giant Live Oak trees and a collection of Loquat, Palm and Pecan, the squirrels have obviously been prolific. The ...
Posted by Esteban on Sun, 23 Dec 2007 03:58:00 PST

Flyin Free, Kicked Back with a Lighter Load

I cannot survive with a blabbering idiot, a drama queen or one who drinks the demon alcohol to excess. Just too old for abuse. Somewhere, above norm, walking green and full of sexual energy is the mat...
Posted by Esteban on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 05:34:00 PST

Not Afraid to Die; I Just Don't Want to Smell Like That

A good friend's mother had been living in a very nice, well to do nursing home. She was receiving close to $100,000 a year to pay bills and since she was pretty laid up, a lot of the money went to pay...
Posted by Esteban on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 02:32:00 PST

My Friend Louis' Theory on the Cycle of Women

My single friend, Louis, was on a roll. I always wondered how he did it because no matter what I did, no matter how much I tried, he seemed to have the touch. It was as if he was wearing some of that ...
Posted by Esteban on Wed, 16 May 2007 02:11:00 PST