Lunaractive [IS DEAD]

It was a dark time in Coos Bay, Oregon. The nights were long. . . Hours long! It had been this way ever since that Stupid-Tard Rock Music-Hating Ninja Clan had invaded its peaceful boarders and banned the very light shining and life giving rock that sustained its young people. Without it, they were drifting into an ever tortured existance in which they did their homework without complaining and enjoyed nothing. . . because they had been deceived into believing that it was fun not to enjoy things. ESPECIALLY ROCK!
They also used to tell people to shut the hell up all the time and they werent nice about it.
But this cold iceyness of dark dank coldness in the hours long nights of the cold and icey reign of the stupid retarded friggin' ninja clan was not to last. . . That crap is never meant to last and you know it so you better not argue with me. . .Just shut your mouth! For as it was written in the lost and olden rock songs of oldeth, there decsended from upon the mountains of the moon on high, a brilliant orb, coated in gold and rich frosting. . . The Ninja's recognized this sign for they knew the prophesy!
Not only was this orb extremely valuable and somewhat delicious, it contained the saviors of the rock scene of Coos Bay! LUNARACTIVE!
Upon landing there were already 20 ninjas waiting to stop them, but their efforts did not avail them. .. for Lunaractive is the ultimate fighting force of the whole universe and they just started to beat the hell out of the ninjas! The bodies of the oppressive ninja clan were torn asunder and many were kicked so hard in sensitive places that their mothers and seven brothers all lit on fire. Those ninjas who had no mothers and/or less than seven brothers simply cried tears of poison darts that wiped out six small villages across feudal japan, which incidentally hasn't existed for like over a thousand years or some crap, but that is just seriously how hard Lunaractive kicked them.
The battle raged for seven perfect days of ninja bloodshed. Hundreds of small animals were either dismembered or decapitated (but not both) because they are stupider than humans and wouldn't get out of the crappin' way. the sound of the battle was as of Heavenly angels playing electric guitars and hitting drums with their harps.
On the seventh day, peace was restored and Rock music reigned. A new society was built up upon the foundation of Lunaractive's poetic lyrics and Mars splitting music. A society over which the great members of Lunaractive themselves kept protective vigil.
For it is written. . . "And lo I did see Lunaractive descend from on high in a frosted orb and start kicking ninjas really hard and the treas fell over and a lot of ripe fruit came off of them onto the ground and was wasted. After 7 days, Oh Coos Bay, you shall be reconciled unto your Rock music and Lunaractive shaltest be your friggin' super awesome protectors and providers of ball rocking music for ever and ever. . ." -The post prophetic book of John the annihilator-
And so, my friends, this is the story of how your lives have been allowed to be touched by the sweet smelling sound of. .. LUNARACTIVE!!!!!!!
Oh and then there was a twist where we find out that the ninjas were actually androids from PLUTO!!!!!!
-John Soares Director & Star of Sockbaby Commanding Overlord of Westhavenbrook
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