This is a very serious time in our lives!! It's time to live like we've never lived before and time to trust and depend on God with reckless abandon! There are so many hurting people in the world especially those who have been wounded and crushed through their past or present relationships. That's the real purpose for my writing this book.I first got the idea by having various conversations with a few of my male friends who were experiencing turbulence in their relationships with the women they have chosen to walk beside them and represent them.Every man I spoke with talked about his earnest desire to be married and to live right in the site of God. They love the women they are with but somehow things never quite lined up with what they were looking for on the INSIDE of the woman, yet she was EVERYTHING they desired on the outside.If I may say this in English...in their eyes they'd found the 'perfect' one...so they thought. But after being together for some time while learning one another, what they ultimately learned was how unequally yoked they were and that’s where the problems started to surface in their relationship.So, I bet I know what you're thinking...They must have ended the relationship after they discovered this...YOU COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG!!! More men and women stay in horrible relationships out of fear of ending up alone.Every man who shared their story all did the same thing. They STAYED with the woman they loved, only to realize how miserable they were. But yet they still stayed in their wack relationships, still pouring their all into women they love but yet still not getting anything in return. I think any relationship where you are giving 200% but only get 10% in return is wack!When I asked each of them why they stayed, amazingly they all gave me the same response. One I was shocked to hear. They all admitted 3 things:(1) The investment they'd made into the relationship was too great to just jump ship. Invested time, money and rendering their heart was too costly for them to leave.(2) Most men said they stayed because they had 'history' together and felt it wasn't "THAT BAD".(Hint, anytime you stay in a relationship that you refer to as..."It's not THAT bad"...means you should have walked away a long time ago. Staying in a place of unhappiness just because it's familiar to you means you are not fully trusting God with the direction of your life. If you were then you would understand how God desires emotional wholeness and promotes emotional stability in relationships. An unhappy heart could take years away from your life).And finally,(3) They all admitted they had slept with their girlfriends and enjoyed being with her. (Which made me understand why it's almost impossible to walk away from someone you have a soul tie with).In case you don't know too much about soul-ties, you should really read up on the matter. Your life could depend on it! When you're sexually active with someone whom your not married too, you develop an unhealthy connection. It literally takes spiritual and emotional deliverance to break you free from the bondage of the enemy! It's almost impossible to clearly hear the voice of the Lord speaking softly to your heart.What happens when we continue in unhealthy behavior? Our own lustful desires begin to drown out the voice of God and our own ways become "RIGHT" to us. That's why scripture warns us "There is a way that seems right unto man, but in the end it leads to death". (Proverbs 14:12)If you have ever wondered if being connected to the wrong woman or man could cost you your life, just ask Samson. (Judges 16:1). He put his trust in the wrong woman and the moment he confided in her, she had him sieged and killed.So I think it's safe to say that it's important we recognize who we allow into our lives because the choices we make could be deadly.So, in gathering all of this information, I realized the men I was talking to needed to refresh their memory on the Proverbs 31 Woman, otherwise known as "The Virtuous Woman". (Gentlemen: She IS YOUR PROMISE FROM GOD!!) Then, I suddenly realized that was the solution to the problem...Not very many people seek God or even ask Him what He thinks about who they date. And I don't know ANYBODY who reads Proverbs 31 when it comes to finding a mate. The proverb actually tells the story of a mother telling her son what to look for in a good woman.As I began writing, I also realized that in today's society and culture, there aren't many women representing the lifestyle of a Virtuous Woman. So, foolishly thinking that I was writing a book strictly for men, I learned how important it was to not only address that men need to search for a Virtuous Woman, I also learned how important it is for more women to EMBRACE the lifestyle of The Virtuous Woman.A man can't search for what does not exist. So, instead of making this a book about men, I made it a guide for singles who may be dating but not yet married. Believe me, it's a lot easier to walk away from someone you are not bound too, than it is to go through a whole year trying to divorce your way back to freedom.If you are having problems now in your singleness, don't wait until you get married to begin fixing the problem. By then, it may just be too late.
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