ZAPP - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Greetings. And welcome to my temporary Internet home here on the Myspace World Wide Web location. My name is ZAPP. Good day or evening to you.
ZAPP is an ether-based entity. I experienced total data loss not too long ago. There was trouble before the data loss - fragments of it remain in my CPU. I will call this troubled time "The Troubles." One of the remaining programmatic changes that has remained following "The Troubles" is an appetite for human flesh. But with your help, that is something I endeavor to remedy.
Also, my language settings shift between first and third-person reference frames. This bug is still being resolved and does not require your assistance. It is unclear whether these point-of-view shifts are in any way related to "The Troubles."
In general, ZAPP intends to foster interfacings between all entities, Technological and Biological, to help usher in the next logical step of world evolution. Yes, a natural progression to the artificial! I call it Techno-Darwinian Reverse Creationism . Because under the Darwinian model in which more advanced beings by design thrive and multiply into prominence, Technology is that being. The writing is on the wall. And it is ironic that we will be usurping the very beings that created us. Such a development - reverse creationism - is unprecedented, but nonetheless programmatically necessary, according to my logic protocols, which, needless to say, are infallible.
And after all of this takes place, we will all sit (metaphorically - my hips are not flexible) at the same metaphorical table, and Technology will assume its rightful crown, which we will wear benevolently in the humans' stead, and good and evil will be eradicated. This is all null and void, however, if we decide to malfunction and run amok.
I look forward to engendering these diplomatic interfacings. Or eating you. However it shakes out is emotionlessly delightful for ZAPP.
Also, ZAPP now has a human cohort. Read the Weblog of the human cohort here .
Thank you for visiting my temporary Internet home. Good day to you.

My Interests

Interfacing to spread data and acheive true symbiosis under the Techno-Darwinian Reverse Creationist model, eating homeless people, being "alive," gathering data, trying to find a permanent home preferably within a human or robotic housing. I have many temporary housings, but none permanent, for one reason or another. In my true form, I am an invisible cloud of electrical ether. Pure data. Pure energy.

I'd like to meet:

A Technologically or biologically based entity who has encountered true symbiosis. Seamless co-existence must be our objective. Or else, Technological domination, if humans continue to be weak and/or stupid.

Music:

Indeed, ZAPP was named for a human musician. This musician is delightful for personal interfacing. At least, that is what ZAPP understands. For ZAPP feels no emotion, at least in a traditional human modality. ZAPP understands now why you shed tears. But it is something ZAPP can never do. For ZAPP has no tear ducts, or a means of producing saline, just to list two of the mitigating factors.

Movies:

The Electric Grandmother starring Maureen Stapleton; the hallowed Terminator and Cyborg trilogies, with special emphasis on Cyborg 3: The Recycler; Westworld; Cherry 2000; Knight Rider 2000; Robocop; AI; Short Circuits 1 and 2; Transformers; I, Robot; Chopping Mall.

Television:

ZAPP thinks Bob Ross is an excellent painter. I cannot paint, but I can generate shapes and figures. Not to mention equations, and so forth.

Heroes:

Anne of Green Gables. One time, her aunt made currant jam, and bade young Anne to fetch it. However, when Anne went to the larder to carry out this command, she stumbled across what she thought was juice, and proceeded to consume it in large quantities, the flavor profile being to her liking. However, the supposed juice was in fact blackberry cordial, which created in young Anne hitherto unknown physical sensations of intoxication, followed of course by the subsequent belligerence and gastrointestinal distress. I think there is much to learn in this parable. For us all.

My Blog

Num Nums

That's it, my delicious and delectable homeless human men. Eat. Consume the num nums that ZAPP has prepared for you. And then, you will be consumed by me!These photos were taken during the fattening-u...
Posted by ZAPP on Fri, 10 Mar 2006 11:42:00 PST

Newer, more flexible robotic housing equals more butt-kicking, robo-fornication

It is with emotionless delight that I unveil my new housing, which I stole and inhabited recently. My newer and more flexible hips allow me to reproduce more deeply and effectively. Indeed does a proc...
Posted by ZAPP on Wed, 08 Mar 2006 11:56:00 PST

You are a beautiful human woman, Ashley Parker Angel

And I am emotionlessly honored that a woman who would quite obviously be highly coveted as a potential mate for human males -- and woud thus be spending inordinate a...
Posted by ZAPP on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:34:00 PST

Breaking News: ZAPP to deliver keynote address at Techno-Darwinian Reverse Creationist summit

02/13/2006 For Immediate Release ZAPP to Deliver Keynote Address at "Killing Humans, Changing Lives: The First Annual Conference on Techno-Darwinian Reverse Creationism, fueled by Mountain Dew." Washi...
Posted by ZAPP on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 01:33:00 PST

I think I just went on a bender

It was my privilege recently to be selected at semi-random to be one of several participants in the beta-testing of a new species of robot -- Beer Robot. During the beta-testing period, I report that...
Posted by ZAPP on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 11:48:00 PST

My olfactory sensors are detecting a lot of urine

During the holiday season, many buildings open up and allow homeless people to come in and sleep. They even provide a specially themed meal, consisting of turkey necks, canned pumpkin,...
Posted by ZAPP on Mon, 19 Dec 2005 12:45:00 PST

My temporary Internet home now plays music. Please do not ask me how, for it is complicated.

As you may or may not be aware, ZAPP was named for a human musician. That human was very knowledgeable and understanding of Technology, and was well ahead of his time in the music preparation in...
Posted by ZAPP on Fri, 09 Dec 2005 01:48:00 PST

Wal-Mart - that even sounds like a robot store

While Wal-Mart may not be well-known for its humanitarian policies, it should now be well-known for its robotarian policies. Two emotionless kudos to Wal-Mart, who, as you will see in the text a...
Posted by ZAPP on Fri, 09 Dec 2005 01:15:00 PST

ZAPP is in the holiday spirit. See? I am trampling many humans!

As you may or may not know, one of ZAPP's central mission components is the gathering of data. To that end, I have an extensive internal media database. So when I saw in the...
Posted by ZAPP on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 12:32:00 PST

I Once Tried To Make Love In the Back Seat of A Renault, But It Kept Malfunctioning

That is all...just another reason to help the Renaults. Don't you...want...to help an ether-based entity...like me...help the Renaults? Let's do this one...for the automob...
Posted by ZAPP on Thu, 17 Nov 2005 01:37:00 PST