Katy

My volume comes from within. I treasure meaningful moments with beautiful people. I am action and movement oriented, very explorative and curious, but always honor and take time for stillness and silence. I am fascinated with the Law of Attraction, manifestation through creative visualization. I take responsibility for all circumstances in my life. I understand that I am the screenwriter and the director of my own life-drama.
.....Me...hmm...Service oriented givist, passionate, unconditional lovitress, with a powerfully overactive imagination around hopeless romanticism, and an overabundance of spontaneous, creative, ideas on continuously spoiling others rotten like no one has ever spoiled them before, to a point where they don’t know what hit them, in very un-suffocating, un- clingy, detached ways. But only if they don’t expect it! Strong believer in boundless generosity and making positive, lasting deposits into ones emotional bank account from the moment I meet them. As long as it is healthy, not exploited or self destructive. I believe that every person should at least at some point in their life experience what it’s like to feel like they are the center of the universe and know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally just for being who they are without having to do anything. Just stand there, be yourself, and be loved. If I don’t have that approach towards every relationship in my life, then what will my habitual approach be when the ideal one comes along? Also when you do that from the bottom of your heart and you are sincere, that’s when the Law of Attraction kicks in. Like attracts like!
Never in my life have I demanded commitment from anyone even in monogamous relationships. If monogamy is to occur, I think that it should come from within, voluntary, spontaneously, not based on any kind of expectations, or social standards. That’s because I believe that a relationship is a moment-to-moment decision. If at any point my significant other wants to be somewhere else, with someone else, they should have the right to go there. That way I know for a fact that when they are spending time with me, that is what’s really in their heart and I will treasure that. I overall have a strong policy against forcefulness, jealousy, and possessiveness towards others and myself... although, of course if you are human, at least on some occasions one would experience at least brief feelings of wanting to force things to happen a certain way...there’s no way of completely avoiding feeling that once in a while. It’s a matter of rationalizing through it. It’s a matter of asking myself “What will I achieve by guilt tripping a person into spending time with me instead of doing something else they want to be doing?” Basically an unhappy, bitter person who might be Bphysically present there with me, but mentally and emotionally somewhere else. Even if you tell them to go ahead and do what they want but hold anger inside towards them, they will feel it, and the whole time they are out there trying to enjoy themselves, they are feeling worried and guilty and fearful. They will come back resenting you for depriving them of the fullness of the experience. Who am I to take that away from them? Also you know how when you discover something fascinating or read an amazing book and you want to tell everyone about it. Well, if I think someone is absolutely magnificent and magical, how dare I steal that away from the rest of the world? It’s that unconditional love, coming from a place of security, and fully trusting that person to do what’s right for them. Knowing that they will come back, and knowing that they know that you will still be there when they come back. Wow, that’s some intense Surrender right there that I would love to share with a likeminded individual! And if they don’t come back, then why would you want to be with a person who does not want to be there in the first place. You can’t beat someone’s heart into submission. Wouldn’t you rather know the truth then live a lie?
Since I’ve written that, people come up to me and say “Oh, that’s so cool you are into polyamoury…” and I’m like “Oh, I am?” I think it’s more that I’m just a strong believer in giving people the freedom of choice all the time. When someone says that they will love me forever, I know that what they mean is that they will love me forever today. They don’t know what they will feel the next day and neither do I. Relationships are living entities that we breath life into and shape and grow them at our own will. We can create them as we wish. I’m trying to stay detached from any one relationship structure. I understand that one way that I might be able to or want to relate to one person might not work with somebody else. I also have a policy of treating each individual in very unique ways, because they deserve that. So I am very open and receptive to being presented with new ideas and ways of relating to others. I am constantly changing and evolving and so do my views and ideas. Nothing is set in stone. Always, challenge me with new ideas, please!
I have come to the realization that I really want to make a point to spend a good amout of time connecting with people first on emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and artistic levels before I connect with them intimately on the physical. Predominantly building a deep and solid foundation for those ralationships to thrive and flurish in meaningful and beautiful ways.
I feel that love is like a bar of soap, if you hold on to it too tight it will slip away. If you give it lots of room to breath, process, learn and feed it with positive, nurturing, stimulating vibrations, why would it ever leave? The universe does not make mistakes. Every day I strive to be more and more like my kitten Basil, who is the embodiment of love and innocence! :) In the end of it all, I'm just an earthy, sensual, frolicsome, mermaid that plays with fire.