Doug Wapner

No one really knows the truth about Doug Wapner; no one, not even Doug Wapner himself. Rumor has it he was born on a small Dutch-Amish potato farm centrally located just north of South America, and west of the Far East. That would put him somewhere in the United States, to be exact. Like the great Benjamin Franklin, Wapner was responsible for many remarkable inventions. It is said that the first ever OTB horse betting franchise was founded by Wapner. Likewise, the third ever China Buffet. He was a soldier who fought for freedom in Medal of Honor on the Sony Playstation, and a true patron of the arts. Many call him the premier scholar of our times, having read an extensive collection of picture-less books - in full - no less. He's a Scrabble whiz, a trivia king, a loving father of 2.5 children, and a ping-pong champion. His spirituality is one of the more prevalent themes in his music, but his religious affiliation remains indiscernible. We know for certain that he was raised Greek-Orthodox and at the age of twelve he had converted to Greek-Reformed. At thirteen he began practicing foosball and reading the Bible, only later to become a televangelist. A televangelist for the following ten years, Wapner wrote and sold several critically acclaimed books like "Money Talks, God Listens", "Gotta Pay to Pray", "A Penny for Your Thoughts, A dollar for your Prayers", and "Holy Land: The money it took to build the Holy Land." In a rare interview captured by that guy who exploited and betrayed Michael Jackson, Wapner discusses his reasons for stepping down from Televangelism, despite during what was said to be the height of his career. "This ain't the height of my career," he says, "those days are long gone. Stepping down just seems like the right thing for me to do." He adds, "I've been preachin' the Lord for almost ten years now and my throat is gettin' tired and my tongue is gettin' tied. He's still out there watchin' over all us, and I reckon that as long as my books are still on them shelves for $13.95 in them softcovers and $24.95 on them hard ones, God's word will live on."