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Students like me totally bored with class, could spend the whole day outside “dusting erasers.†For those of you not familiar with “dusting erasers,†that’s the process by which one takes said used chalkboard eraser and smacks said eraser up side the building with intense force, hence removing all chalk dust from within said eraser, by implementing the knocking motion, to said object. I actually got class credit for that.
I was known to the student body as "that boy ain't right." I was known to the faculty as an “ingrate.†I’m still not sure what that means. I was an involved B student up north and a bored A student down here. Bored students become entertainers. So I set forth to amuse my fellow classmates by attracting attention to myself thereby depriving others of their education.
It took me awhile to understand southern lingo. Once in the 8th grade, “old lady Dickerson†said it was too hot in the classroom and told me to crack the window, I threw a book through the window and was sent to the principal’s office for a paddling. Now this was my first experience with school discipline in the south or anywhere. Up until that point, I had never received a paddling in school. Mr. Mize was a big, old, ugly, mean looking man and I was "scared shitless." Mize informed me I would get three whacks and took me into his office. Upon entry, he whispered in my ear, “when I hit this here box, you yell out like you’re in pain, as loud as you can son.†Perplexed but elated, I complied with a performance that struck fear in the hearts of every student in the silent classrooms down the adjoining four halls. I swear to God that’s a true story.
But I quickly grew fond of this part of America. The people are the best, so loving and friendly. They would wave at me every day, say “hey, how ya doin young man†and offered me "sweat tea." They invited me over to visit any time. But not today. They were fixin' to do something. I quickly picked up on the southern dielect and began to fit right in. I’m right at home now and proud to be from the south. Now when I’m fixin’ to tare ya a new one, I make damn sure yer ignert ass is informed up front you been educated way beyond yer intelligence, uh huh.
After graduation I moved away and started my college career at UGA, but I still have many dear memories of that little town. My mother, sister, cousin, and the girl of my dreams still live there. That’s the place where I had my first cigarette, first beer, first car, first(uh lost my virginity), first fell in love, and got my first broken heart. Kinda brings a tear to your eye.
I’ll let you go for now, but I hope you come back and often. Maybe you can when you're not fixin' to do anything.
Thanks for visiting my site.
Go Dawgs!
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