Sex Muffin Kenobi profile picture

Sex Muffin Kenobi

The New Me is the Old Me. Welcome me back. It's been 10 long years...

About Me

Im playful like a kitten with a ballfull of yarn an crack. Btw, I'm crazy an mean. I once beat a cripple to death WITH ANOTHER CRIPPLE!' I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am.'FYI - I'm friggin awesome. Take the coolest guy you know and then put a great pair of pants on him. That's me. And I like to cook.I am also making it my personal stamp on the world to make the phrase "Monkey Butt Sex" the go-to for what you say when happy, sad, or hungry. You have to say it very fast with almost no pause between words. Monkeybuttsex.Also, I have a blog. http://welcometotardville.blogspot.com/

My Interests

Tennis, Yoga, Surfing, The PHILADELPHIA MOTHER-FUCKIN EAGLES, Nittany Lion football, Kickball, Basketball, Drinking, Cooking, Video Games, Writing fiction, reading, and generally throwing the pimp down.

I'd like to meet:

Eddie Griffin (the NBA player who crashed while drunk, watching porn on his car DVD player AND was masturbating) and anyone else who thinks they have something interesting to say. Also anyone who can get me a fucking literary agent, cause getting those cocks to read anything that ain't "industry referral" is impossible.I'd also like to meet Colonel Sanders, but from what I hear, "HE DEAD. I SAY YOU HE DEAD!"I tend to have high expectations for people and am almost constantly let down. Consideration, logic and decency are a lost art in the land of Los Angeles and in my generation. But, you can read my blog about that.

Music:

Pavement, The Dandy Warhols, My Bloody Valentine, Josh Ritter, The Kings of Leon, Bjork, Elliot Smith, Justice Vs. Simian, Manu Chao, Brendan Benson, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, The Shins, Joanna Newsom, Sigur Ros, Johnny Cash, Death Cab for Cutie, Danger Doom, Al Green, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday.

Movies:

Fight Club, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, When Harry Met Sally, Top Secret!, Boondock Saints, What the (&#*@) Do We Know?, Princess Bride, Better Off Dead, One Crazy Summer, Lost in Translation, Napoleon Dynamite, Anchor Man, Wedding Crashers.

Television:

Family Guy, Futurama, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, Home Movies, Cowboy Bebop, The Shield, Samurai Champloo, Entourage, The Venture Brothers

Books:

The Quantity Theory of Insanity - Will Self, High Fidelity - Nick Hornby, anything by Hunter S. Thompson, To Kill a Mockingbird, anything by Herman Hesse.

Heroes:

I'm a huge fan of those dogs that run around in the snow with little kegs of whiskey on their necks. A truer hero was never known. My Dad.

My Blog

Fear Itself...

Fear is a fascinating thing.  At the basest core of each of us is a horrible voice crying out, giving us doubt, halting our faith, crushing our spirits and crippling our minds and bodies.  O...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 08:13:00 PST

"Welcome to Tardville" - My ACTUAL blog.

I started an actual blog to keep myself occupied at "work." It's called "Welcome to Tardville" and basically I rant about news, sports, entertainment, and other crap. Check it out! Hell, bookmark tha...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 11:31:00 PST

"Cool New People"

You know what? NONE of the "Cool New People" that I click on through the homepage or my personal shrine to myself are actually "cool." They are "new," yes, but I demand MORE from my randomly generate...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 01:33:00 PST

Fall in the air, in LA?!?

Wow. That's all I can say. Today the air in LA is not its usual brown smog and stink, but instead bears the hint of winter. A slight chill, a tiny bit of damp and the distinct smell of wood and lea...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 10:57:00 PST

You are NOT your myspace page!!!

STOP TRICKING OUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES. Go read a fucking book, or take a walk, or write a short story, or go to the GYM! I'm sick of not being able to read people's pages, or havin...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 08:25:00 PST

A Generation of wanderers

I have long had thoughts about this subject, looking at my own life - how I left Philadelphia for Los Angeles - greener pastures, as they say.  It has become apparent that my generation has too m...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Sun, 02 Jul 2006 06:27:00 PST

Theres a splinter in my jesus box

So I made this box to keep photos of Jesus in, but when I went to open it I got this giant fuckin splinter in my wrist. And I'm like 'holy shite, Im like Christ here, with my bleeding wrists! Like th...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

EYEBALZ

Man - long time no post. But let me say this.... If there were ever a person who should never be stabbed in the eye with a fork, it's me. And I know what you all are thinking, you're thinking, but ...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

WTF is a snozberry?

"Snozberry? What the fuck is a snozberry? There's no such thing as a snozberry!" Ooooo, Veruca Salt, that little biznitch! I'd like to give her five across the eyes.
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Skipping to my loo

Alright, look; when I skip I do it like a man. Like a fuckin man! When you see me doing the gravity-defying curb-hop you better be saying to yourself "Goddamn, that MAN can SKIP! What a right sexy b...
Posted by Sex Muffin Kenobi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST