Kevin Moyers profile picture

Kevin Moyers

Pure Genius Since 1976

About Me

I'm a prick, but I enjoy being a prick. It entertains me. The great thing is that what I lack in social skills, I make up for in douchebaggery.

I'm a writer, comedian and semi-actor, which means I'm not great at it, but people keep giving me parts in movies, so I must be okay, I guess.

I live in Phoenix, where my nards reach a balmy 317 degrees in the summer time.

My Interests

Entertaining as an actor, comic or writer. Any which way is good for me.

I'd like to meet:

George Carlin. If it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't be a comic.

Music:

Anthrax, Slayer, Sublime, Eminem, Outkast, Pantera, Rob Zombie, Misfits and other things like that.

Movies:

Machined - Available now from Lions Gate DVD

Oranges: Revenge of the Eggplant - Available now on DVD

Blown - Available on DVD July 24, 2007

Desert Man-Beast

Television:

Scrubs, The Office, Daily Show, The Simpsons

Books:

Scorn

Heroes:

David Hayes, George Carlin, David Cross, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, Steven Wright, Stephen Lynch, Chris Rock and any other brilliant comedian who brightens and enlightens anybody's world.

My Blog

The Divorce Rate - The True Cost of Freedom

In listening to one of my favorite radio talk shows, a discussion was started about woman having "mad money." I wasn't sure what it was until it was explained. Mad money is a secret fund that women wi...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 12:07:00 PST

My Sweet Cookie

I came home today to a big ass plate of the most delicious sugar cookies I have ever tasted. My little Sunshine made them just for me. That's a nice thing to come home to, I must say, and I am just ab...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:28:00 PST

Sunday Mourning

So, here we are, just two days after my hometown Chicago Bears lost the Superbowl to the Indianapolis Colts. I've been watching the Bears for what seems like forever. I was 9 when they won their first...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:20:00 PST

I Shall Exorcise These Demons!!!!

So, I come home to this comment waiting to be approved today, complete with retarded misspellings and the doucheiest picture of a Vince Vaughn look-alike that I've ever seen. (Comments like these are ...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 04:11:00 PST

Grammar Police Part 1: Abusing Myself

There is a word in the English language that is constantly abused. It is "myself." Here's how the story goes; once upon a time, a douchebag jock moron decided that he wanted to sound intelligent. He w...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 12:21:00 PST

Bookworm

I am currently in the process of writing a book. An honest to goodness book. It's not going to be a novel, but more a series of essays. If you like some of my previous blogs, I think you'll enjoy the ...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 07:44:00 PST

A god by any other name...

Religion has always played an interesting role in my life. Right off the bat, I will tell you that I am an Atheist. I have no belief in any gods or religions or afterlife. I do believe that there is s...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 06:09:00 PST

Customer Mo&%er Fu@$ing Service

Whore fuck bitch! What the flying monkey fuck is wrong with people? Dateline: one hour ago. I call Cox Communications about a charge on my internet service. If you haven't dealt with Cox in your lifet...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 05:36:00 PST

Serious? Me? Never.

I know I'm usually a stupid ass in my blogs, and all I try to do is be funny, but occassionally I like to be a little serious. Not often, but hey, I'll give it a shot. My life has been a little crazy ...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 10:28:00 PST

Jesus Christ - The Death Row Interview

During one of my many historical excavations in the Middle East, I came across a scroll that was very well preserved in a tight little crevice deep in the ground. Upon reading the scroll, I found that...
Posted by Kevin Moyers on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 12:55:00 PST