Ryan profile picture

Ryan

SWALLOW...OR IT GOES IN YOUR EYE!

About Me

I thought I'd slide in some DISLIKES, since those say more about me than what I like. I'm not a negative person by nature, but I rarely get the chance to grandstand and really say what I feel, so here goes. I dislike:
1. Jocks - goes without saying.
2. T-Shirts depicting dead rappers such as Tupac and Notorious BIG as martyrs. They sold out their own people for the almighty dollar. Too bad they didn't take 50 Cent with them. Millions of kids believe that shit is actually cool because of these clueless buffoons. One bullet apiece isn't enough.
3. SxE kids who incessantly say that they are better than everyone else since they have never made a mistake. Are you nailed to the X or nailed to the CROSS?
4. Hardcore shows that used to be about fun, but are now about how many people you can hurt. See number 1.
5. Teenage SXE kids using phrases like "true til death" and "never sell out." Life will be a lot different once your parents stop paying your bills and ensuring that all of your needs are met. Get over yourselves.

My Interests

Horror, 70s Sleaze and Grindhouse, Canuxsploitation, Punk Rock, Metal....and all that good stuff. Mondo and mondo-esque films, Nazisploitation, Blacksploitation, Nunsploitation, Women in Prison and freaky foreign flicks that have no shame at all get thumbs up from me.
Otherwise I like sitting with my friends drinking beers at Planet Kensington, and their oh so fucking awesome brunch. Wish I was able to do that more often.

I'd like to meet:


A proctologist with a strong stomach....or just a real sense of humor.

Music:

Smiths and Morrissey (hello!!!),MANOWAR (hails Metal KINGS!), Dirty Rotten Imbeciles, Chimera, Icepick, Anti-Flag, Mastodon, Napalm Death, Entombed, Amebix, Murder Squad TO, Darkthrone, 3TARDS, Jimmy Eat World, Gameface, Slayer, Bouncing Souls and all the younguns who are at the local punk shows, getting bands together and having some fun.

Movies:

Riot on 42nd St, Waterpower, Forty Deuce, Rent, Kung Pow, Ilsa, anything with Cheri Caffaro, East End Hustle. All oldschool horror and gore are great too! 80s cheese also gets the nod. High School hijinks and teen sex romps are classics!

Television:

Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, Judge Greg Mathis, Judge Marilyn Milian....where the hell do they find those people, and THANKS...after watching court tv, i realize just how good I have it. (and just how easy it is to become as dumb as they are).

Books:

I am obsessed with The Montauk Project and all that goes with it. I read it, I breathe it, I am enthralled with it.
Oh yeah, and Cinema Sewer 'zine. Check out www.cinemasewer.com and get your copy. Hell, get your subscription. If you like off the wall movies, porno, horror and sleaze, all wrapped up in a nice little package, you need this!

Heroes:

I admire those who show quiet strength and resiliency. I am tending to shy away from admiring those who are all about fame, fortune and "talent". I look around me and see people worshipping the likes of Bono, 50 Cent, Tupac, Rage Against The Machine....and I shake my head. There are people out there fighting REAL battles everyday.