Dale profile picture

Dale

The Human Torch was denied a bank loan

About Me

I am standing right behind you. Turn around and ask me about myself.

My Interests

Expanding my base of power, increasing profits, and destroying my enemies.

I'd like to meet:

Everyone there is. Figure I've got about 60 years of life left and roughly 6 billion more of you to meet. That's about 275,000 people a day, every day, from now until I am 85, assuming I live that long and that world population does not grow. Let's get started.

Music:

Every noise I make is music.

Movies:

Whatever Netflix decides I am watching tonight.

Television:

tv sucks now. every channel has a big crack in the middle with sparks flying out. It can be exciting sometimes like when it sets my rug on fire, but it gets old you know? tv producers have no creativity.

Books:

How to Conquer the World with the Profit Made off of a Best Selling Book, by Dale Andrews

Heroes:

Being named one of Dale's Heroes represents a generous donation of $10 or more to the Dale's Future Fund. Contact Dale to join the list and become a hero today!Dale's Heroes:Elaine Dubel Steve Dubel Lou Fis

My Blog

Money Bin

Very shortly I plan on investing a large chunk of my savings into building a structure resembling the large tower that old duck kept all of his money in on Duck Tales. I will then convert the remaind...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Jessica Simpson and her monster child

As I flipped from channel to channel on my television tonight I passed by 68 (MTV where I live) and saw a minute or so of the reality TV show Newlyweds. Now, unlike the Osbornes, which chronicles a ...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Breaking news

"Live from the floor of the legislative body that governs Dale Andrews, correspondent Susan Crabtree reports on last night's flurry of activity." "Thank you Jim. Late last night the pro-sleep forc...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

if I were a rich man

If I ever get really rich, I am going to buy a stadium and live right in the middle of the playing field. Then I'll charge hefty admission prices for a "game" which will turn out to be me sitting i...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

the sopranos

It has become quite apparent to me that the Sopranos episodes my coworkers hate the most are the very same episodes that I love the most. I don't know if you guys agree with my coworkers or not, but ...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Living alone

Living alone is the friggin' greatest thing ever. It's like you're playing fort ALL THE TIME.
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Dawn of the Dead

Saw Dawn of the Dead last night, and I had a problem that I often have with horror movies. In the beginning it scared the hell out of me, because the zombies attack right away and you're watching the...
Posted by Dale on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST