The last 9 months of my life have been dark and painful! I faced my own personal "miniature" 9/11. I would have never believed a year ago I would be where I am at today. But standing together we are! From the "ruins" of what used to be our family there are now beams of light pointing to the sky! We have become a different kind of family. The five of us, including Hansel (13) have made tough decisions in the last 9 months. I opened the book of my life to my kids. I sought forgiveness from those I had hurt and offended. It was painful. But the grace and the forgiveness I received have made me free! God graced me with personal forgiveness and a new page as I assumed responsibility for my part of the tragedy. God made my four kids unbelievably strong in the midst of their innocence. They did not deserve any of what they got. Yet, they stood by my side and encouraged me to believe again! Genuine friends and relatives "showed up" at the moment of the tragedy! We, as a family, owe so much of our recovery to so many people!
Whenever you visit my page and whatever pain you may be going through in your own life, I just want to share the principles that have assisted my recovery... 1) ATTITUDE is all that matters in the midst of chaos, whether be my responsibility or someone else's! 2) I don't ever need to be a VICTIM of anyone, ever! 3) I CHOOSE my role in any situation I face! -I chose not to be a victim! -I chose to grieve and bleed in my own time. -I chose to "wait" in spite of my kids' advice! -Then I chose to move on when I was ready! -My 4 kids chose to move on much earlier than me! They were so patient with me! They saw the entire picture earlier and faster than I did! 4) But I KNEW I could recover! It is possible to dream again!
Here is the secret... a) Your mind and your heart must be totally clean from emotional and spiritual toxicity! Revenge, betrayal, dishonesty, cheating, bitterness, anger, a need to destroy someone's reputation; a need to attack and hurt; all of them will only keep you in the dark longer. Expose it all... Bring it all out in the open... Seek accountability with a friend, a group, a counselor or someone you trust. I know it takes guts! Open it all up and DO WHAT'S RIGHT! I did it and I recovered faster because of that! b) You must forgive. c)You must let go. d) You must think action. e)You must understand what happened and change if you were part of the reason why something happened to you. f)You must seek your purpose for your life. There is a reason for everything that happens to you. I believe that about myself. Regreting the past does not create a future! Embrasing the past leads to the creation of a purpose now! g) You must seek a connection with God or your source of Divine inspiration like never before! h) You must develop a spirit of gratefulness. During the last few months we, as a family, have often looked at family pictures and were able to laugh and be grateful for our incredibly good, healthy, fun family life! Lots of fun, good memories! We thanked God many times for the 27 years Johanna gave us as a family. She was a huge part of our fun! We lived life fully and we have no regrets. i) You must then, turn around and share your life with the world. We did; and met lots of people who had gone or are going through the same. The kids met lots of kids from divorced homes that were/are hurting. Now we KNOW how it feels! They encouraged us, we encouraged them!
And here are the far reaching implications for your life if you follow the steps I outlined above. 1) Scars will then turn into stars! Pain will turn into passion! Brokeness will turn into significance and powerful influence. I believe that the humble will ALWAYS be honored, one way or another. It's a law of life! The proud will always meet his/her own fate soon or later! I feel bad for people who are not able to change for the sake of others. It must be like living in a prison! Selfishness is too high of a price to pay for such an empty bargain at the end of the road! Instant gratification over character always ends up in ashes! Pride and selfishness always leave you empty in the end; no money, drugs or momentary pleasure can fill up your cup. You will walk isolated from people; no deep connections; prideful people always die alone even if they have a few people around... I have seen it so many times; selfishness and pride kill love! With the right attitude you and I can turn "ruins" into brilliant, powerful beams of light pointing to the sky! Our own lives can point others to the sky and remind them that there is HOPE! You and I can dream again!
WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT?
THE GREATEST USE OF A LIFE IS TO SPEND IT ON SOMETHING THAT WILL OUTLAST IT--WILLIAM JAMES
WARNING! If you are easily offended by the things you see in this world of ours, then "My Space" may not be the place for you... If you choose to judge me by the people you see here... then kindly, move on!... I definitely don't sponsor everything you see... I don't always request it... I don't always approve of it... Capiche???? A lot of my friends are in the health fitness and modeling industry; that means that at times their pictures show bodies which are not totally covered! You get the idea! If you are offended by their looks just move on. I respect you!
*Hello, my name is Harold
*I am a Life Motivational Coach, a consultant, a writer and a seminar speaker for the "LIFE ZONE" which I co-founded with my son, Roldy. I have been professionally involved in the field of interpersonal relationships and motivational endeavors for over 20 years. I love what I do! People simply fascinate me.
*I have been told that I'm pompous, snobbish and conceited but I know that my heart is in the right place and I'll do whatever it takes to change toxic behavior on my part and help my friends and family.
*I live in Laguna Niguel, near the Beach, which is one of my favorite spots!
*Perhaps my worst weakness is my need to analyze everything all of the time. My friend Kirsten told me it's hard to be friends with someone who has an "X" ray mind! I know she is right! I have to know why someone says or does something the way they do. I like to know! I am a "seeker" of truth. Besides that, I know I ask too many questions, like a little kid! The "parent" type of person I meet out there, doesn't like me at all because of that!
*I am busy with life but always find time for fun stuff...
*It sounds like all I care about is fun... but in reality I deal with "bullshit" and "pain" LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!! It hurts... I don't like it... But I move on! I try to practice what I teach!
*I can be very goofy when I don't need to be "serious"
*I work out at the gym mostly every day and I love a good sweat
*I am my age but then I am not. Figure that one out!
*I love to read the Bible (The Message), Philosophy, Theology, Sociology, Anthropology, Health, Psychology.
*I am very intense and passionate about what I care, but I can be totally disconnected from what I perceive to be non-sense. Of course, that has often been perceived as arrogance and insensitivity to what others consider relevant! I have been accused of that many times! I understand... So, I try to manage that polarity rationally because I do care about people and relationships!
*I am very relational and totally OK being that way! But also need my own space a lot; I am a "closet introvert"!
*I am very loyal to the people I love and stay away from "gossip" and stupid judgments about them. I learned that from my parents. "Protect your own people; don't fight against them; don't ever betray them!," they told me.
*I am very open minded about people, their behavior, and life styles BECAUSE I believe there are very few "black" and "white" issues in life. There are mostly "gray" issues which politicians, our "culture's bullies," and religion, twist and elevate to the level of morality and ethics in order to feed their own private agendas.
*I believe there are "good" and "bad" people in the world and what defines them ultimately is HOW THEY TREAT PEOPLE!
* I have an intense relationship with God and I don't hide it at all. BUT I AM NOT RELIGIOUS AT ALL. I don't feel I have to use God every step of the way to make sense or impress anyone. He is my Partner by MY choice and that settles it! He already told me to go on and have fun with the LIFE He gave me!
* I have a purpose while I journey on this earth on my way to the next life. That purpose is expressed in my 4 goals: 1) To LET God love me. 2) To LOVE, help and serve people with everything I've got. 3) To survive the bad moments of life and GROW UP! Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people...(This world is imperfect!) 4) To have as much fun as possible! (I don't think God will ever ask me about the bad things I did BUT why didn't I have more fun with the awesome LIFE He gave me-(John 10:10) That's it!
ONCE YOU TASTE PASSION...
LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!
PASSION...
"Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... the ecstasy of grief. It speaks to us... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? If we could live without passion, maybe we'd would know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Like empty rooms, shuttered and dark. Without passion, we'd be truly dead." Shared by Mandy, my friend--From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"--Joss Whedon, Director/Producer--Show Episode: "Passion"--February 24, 1998-5V17--Statement said by "Angelus"
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
Anais Nin (1903 - 1977-- French-born) Author and Diarist--Thank you, Kirsten!
MY MOST SPECIAL PEOPLE!
Hansel (13), Heidi (18), Roldy (21), Jeanie (21-Roldy's girlfriend), Halcyon (26), Court (27-Halcy's fiance)
Halcyon and Hansel
Heidi
Heidi's Graduation from High School
Halcyon and Heidi
Heidi's contagious laugh!
Roldy
I LIKE WHAT THEY SAID
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
Arthur Schopenhauer
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man failed, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place will never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt
"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together."
George Christopher Lichtenberg
"Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content."
Louis L'Amour
"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."
Marilyn Monroe (June 1, 1926 - August 5, 1962)
"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Hellen Keller
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