Martha Stewart - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Life isn't always flowers and angel food cakes, and that is a lesson I learned that the hard way, which, for me, was being incarcerated for five months after I had lied about a stock sale.
As a youngster and into adulthood, my ten siblings admired me and my cooking abilities, which were fine-tuned following years of my preparing meals for them as we grew up together.
At school, I earned straight-A's, helping me to garner a scholarship to Barnard College in New York City. I briefly left school to get married, and during this break I also pursued a prosperous modeling career.
I soon returned to school and majored in History and Architectural History. Later, I took on the roles of a successful stockbroker and dedicated wife and mother.
The biggest honor of my life was being named K-Mart's spokesperson. It opened up more opportunites for me, and I began my own magazine, Martha Stewart Living.
After I was released from prison, I quickly returned to work as host of both The Apprentice: Martha Stewart and a daytime talk show called Martha.
Check me out in my first feature film, which includes an all-star cast:
Additionally, I would like to present your alternative presidential ticket for this year's election! Below is the Stewart campaign's first ad:
Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

My Interests

Insider trading
Earning an obscene salary
Consuming copious quantities of fine wine

I'd like to meet:

Intelligent and determined individuals from all walks of life.

Specifically, Andrew Bogut

Music:

Techno
Screamo
Grindcore
Death metal

Movies:

Slasher films

Television:

My daytime talk show, Martha

Boycott cable news!
They incessantly work to damage my exceptional reputation.

Books:

Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi

Heroes:

How is it possible to idolize anybody else when I am the world's most accomplished individual?

My Blog

An exciting campaign announcement!

We are all aware that Sen. Barack Obama attained the necessary delegates to secure the Democratic nomination for President of the United States weeks ago. While I am very proud of Sen. Obama for all ...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:48:00 PST

Blueberry scones are good things!

And because they are so delightful, let us share recipes and enjoy them together! 2 cups all-purpose flour 3 tablespoons sugar, plus more for sprinkling tops 1 tablespoon baking powder 3/4 teaspoo...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:50:00 PST

AP: Mother of Martha Stewart dies at 93

By Stephanie Reitz of The Associated Press HARTFORD, Conn. Martha Kostyra, 93, whose daughter Martha Stewart credits her with teaching her many domestic tricks and techniques, died at a hospital nea...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:48:00 PST

It’s that time!

The Milwaukee Bucks are about to return to action, and we all know what that means: My man, Andrew Bogut, is back and ready for the game! Oooh, baby....
Posted by Martha Stewart on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 08:13:00 PST

A few words on a painful issue

Marriage at its best is a fantastic, wonderful, inspiring thing. But like absolutely everything else in this world, marriage is never perfect. In fact, the divorce rate currently hovers ar...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 07:47:00 PST

Martha in '08!

The subject line above speaks for itself. Indeed, I am forming an exploratory committee and announcing my plans to make a run at becoming President of the United States in 2008! More information will ...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 12:35:00 PST

Earth-shattering announcement COMING SOON!

Dear Myspace friends, Please stay tuned for some groundbreaking news I expect to divulge sometime within the next few weeks. The announcement will be made exclusively through my myspace profile....
Posted by Martha Stewart on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 07:53:00 PST

Please R.S.V.P. to my extravagant dinner party!

Dear myspace friends, As some of you may know, my imaginary (and hunky) husband Andrew Bogut and his Milwaukee Bucks have earned a spot in the NBA playoffs. In celebration, I am throwing a swan...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 08:00:00 PST

Donald vs. Martha: the truth.

Dear friends, My name has been tossed into the storms of many controversies over the past year. I acknowledge and accept this unfortunate fact. However, the recent brouhaha concerning me a...
Posted by Martha Stewart on Fri, 03 Mar 2006 07:49:00 PST