Achievement and Triumph, Aesthetic Experiences, Agnosticism (no beliefs nor devout claims of disbelief ... what can be proven or disproved?), Beautiful Pictures, Being around Animals and Nature, Being Creative, being frugal, Beneficially Impacting Others Profoundly and Meaningfully, Board Games, Causing Happiness, Challenges, collegehumordotcom, Composition, Creating, cuteoverloaddotcom, Debating, Developing Friendships, digitalblasphemy, Discovering and Pursuing TRUTH, Ebaumsworld, Eccentrics and Nonconformists, Existentialism, Exploring, Eye-Opening Experiences, Feeling "Good", Fitness, Food, Foreign accents, Foreign Cuisine, Foreign Cultures, geniuses, Getting to Know People and What they Have to Offer, Golden silences, Growing Mentally, Having my Horizons Broadened, Having New Experiences, Hearing others' thoughts, Helping People, Homosexuality, Hording and Collecting, Human Nature, Impacting the World, Improving my Self, Integrity, Jewish Culture, Journals, Learning, Lists, massage, Math, Meeting People, Morality and Ethical Philosophy, My Friends, Mythology, Nature, Nostalgia, novelties, Observing People, Philosophizing, Piano, Playing Old-School Video Games, Playing Piano for Others, Pornography, Pottery, prodigies, Psychology, Reminiscing, Science, Sensing Beauty in its varying forms, Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, Sharing my Thoughts, Sign Language, Silly Toys, Sleep and Dreams, snow, Solipsism, Spontaneity, Swing Dancing, Teaching, the Absurd, Thinking, Truth, visualparadox, Volunteering, Watching Interesting Movies, Wikipedia, Working with Others to Accomplish Goals, Yoga
I'd like to meet:
I SEEK:
Friends, Intellectuals (to have conversations with), Musicians (to play with), people who will inspire me, practical visionaries (although denotatively an oxymoron, I intend the colloquial, connotative meaning of visionary), geniuses, passionate archetypes, a boyfriend ...
Ultimately, it's all about the connection.
DISCLAIMORS:
I realize this comes off as highly condescending. That is not my intent, and I do not seem so stuck up in person. A collection of responses to common pet peeves has developed into this monstrous list. The sad part, is the people it pertains to probably won't read or respect it, and the people who might get along w' me great in real life are likely to be put off by it. Sigh ... this profile needs a makeover.
1)I primarily seek real life interactions, and though I can still forge friendships with people who are geographically distant, I am rather unmotivated to do so. This is becoming more and more relevant as time passes and I develop more and more online acquaintances. I want to meet local people online and acquaint in the real world. There are so many wonderful people in Europe and California and South America, but I most desire to get to know people who live geographically close.
2)When it comes to developing different kinds of interaction, if me being gay serves as at least part of your motivation for getting in touch (and you are a male), please note the following. Please communicate the extent to which 'being gay' has played in getting in touch.
We all have our own expectations and preferences regarding different kinds of relationships. For intellectual pen-pal-ships, geographical proximity isn't very important. For platonic friendships, geographical proximity is important, while physical attraction is irrelevant. For friendships in which one or both parties seeks to eventually potentially become romantically involved, physical attraction is, at least for me, still initially important, even if we'd only consider the possibility of dating after - if we do - developing a close friendship. For straight out dating, a strong romantic and intellectual attraction is immediately necessary. And for hookups, which are not at all a priority for me yet a slight possibility, a strong mutual physical attraction is immediately necessary.
On this site, I am up for all of the relationships described above, with a preference toward developing friendships that may eventually lead to an amazing romance. Thus, even if we connect well intellectually and personality-wise, it's important for there to be a mutual physical attraction in order for me to wish to hang out, unless we can agree to rule out physical attraction as any basis for hanging out. Likewise, if there's great sexual chemistry, that may be enough for an innocent, no-strings, safe hookup (not a priority), but unless there's a strong mutual intellectual and personality-connection, I have no inclination to hang out or go on a date.
Please respect this and communicate what you are looking for (with respect to where I fit and why) if you get in touch. Although I am open to all the interactions listed above, I am not open to ambiguous interaction. It allows for more spontaneous romance and less thinking, granted, but has often led to rash decision-making, hurt feelings, unmatched expectations, miscommunication, and deceptive behavior.
3) I'm really not looking for emotionless hook-ups. It's a slight possibility, but not a goal.
Don't speak to me like I'm a piece of meat. If you only seek a hook-up, then be forthright, and I'll give you a genuine response. If you pay me a 'compliment' based on appearance, call me an asshole, but unless you have reason to believe that i have an unreasonably low self esteem about my appearance, I don't consider superficial observations to be complimentary. I feel like people should earn their compliments. Thus, if you contact me MERELY to praise my appearance, then if I happen to find you attractive as well, I may reciprocate the 'observation.' But otherwise, it's not much of a conversation piece, ya know?
4)I seek actual conversation ... The following does not constitute a conversation: hey, yeah, np, ic, ok, yeah, ok, whats up?, nm, hows it goin, you know?, you're hot, top/bottom?, asl?, wasup, stuff, im bored, etc. And for the love of ?!@..$?!@..! ... please, Please, PLEASE do NOT ask me: "How are you?" before we've yet to establish a rapport! There is no context with which to answer, and the real question should be "Who are you?" I have no intention to follow hypocritical propriety conventions of "how are you" "good, you?" "fine, thanks" when neither party means what they've said and effectively have wasted time saying nothing while now engaged in an as-of-yet stagnant conversation. And in the event you mean the question, I'm sorry that I don't have the desire or time to share with a complete stranger my personal life ... and when you get down to it, when genuine, it really is a personal question.
5) If you get in touch, be candid and forthright, telling me why you decided to contact me. Draw on the points from below. Also, don't just tell me about yourself and what you like about me, but also what ultimately motivated you to get in touch ... i.e. Are you seeking a pen pal, a friend to chill with, friends that may lead to relationships, an accompanist, just filling up time, etc. I will always reciprocate candidly with my own thoughts and feelings. Sorry if they offend, but this is me. Feel free to offer constructive criticism if I offend you, but be specific.
6) I interact with thousands of people .., and do not end up pursuing relationships with most - be they platonic, professional, or romantic. Nevertheless, I'm always up for testing how well I click with someone. Sometimes I will pursue communication, sometimes it'll be mutually sought, and sometimes the other person will initiate correspondence. Don't expect me to 'hit you up' if I haven't yet expressed an active interest in doing so. Perhaps if we continue to chat It'll develop. I think the person whom has shown initial interest in communicating should take it upon him/herself to initiate and 'lead' conversations at first. If we have chatted frequently and you're the only one who gets in touch, you're welcome to ask me what I think of you, and we can see if we're on the same page. Sometimes, I'm just really busy, and haven't even found the time to keep up w' my best friends. Other times, I may be responding yet not especially motivated to get to know you better. And sometimes I'm sorta uninvested either way, and am allowing for the possibility that we'll develop mutual interest in the future.
I have too many online correspondences and friendly acquaintances, and too few close friends i can share important parts of my life with & admire. So unless there's a compelling reason to better acquaint with someone online, chances are I'll be unenthusiastic.
WHAT I LOOK FOR IN FRIENDSHIP: I seek Friends who are unique, forthright, kind, and honest people, with significant mutual interests to mine. They enjoy engaging in intellectual conversation, partaking of new experiences, & are very open-minded. They have strong personalities, have a passion for life, and are passionate about what they value. They wish to strive for endless improvement, and want to actualize a great deal of their potential. They expect friendship to provide security, moral support, objective advice, fun, someone with whom to work on self-improvement and realization of goals, an activity partner, compromise, discovery, relaxation, and platonic love. They realize that the expression, 'just a friend' is an understatement, since friends are capable of being our greatest, closest counterparts. I have been 'blessed' (if there is such a being to do the blessing :-p) with some amazing friends, and I don't know where I'd be today without ya guys :)
Romantically, I look for all the above, as well as physical attraction and sexual intimacy. Ideally, a romance will have sprung from a great friendship. But since that can complicate things, and this is not an ideal world, it is more likely that a romance will initially be taken less seriously than a strong friendship. I wish to experience some good times, and am open to the prospect of a purely sexual relationship, though I do not see such arrangements to be emotionally fulfilling. [My perspective has since changed, and I am now more inclined to seek ideal relationships, seeking a strong foundation of friendship with guys of potential interest, getting to know each other well and developing an interpersonal rapport, and only then pursuing a romance with those whom there exists an enduring rewarding friendship, sufficient sexual chemistry, and a mutual personal bond.] I ultimately wish for a best friend, I am both in love with and attracted to (whom I'd rather have be my type to begin with, though this may not be, & I realize that emotional intimacy can elevate feelings of physical attraction).
Superficially, my physical 'type' includes a great variety of guys. I tend to be attracted to Caucasian guys around my age, who have at least some body hair, have a lean or athletic build, 'pretty boys,' handsome guys, 'masculine', not too lanky or humongous, are at least a bit taller than me, and generally attractive.
Turn-Off's: effeminate mannerisms, smokers, the bar-scene, the club-scene (though i'd love to learn to dance and perhaps then I'd enjoy it), 'queens,' being addressed with terms of endearment by guys I barely know, any exaggerated genderisms or behaviorisms in general (people who try to conform to an artificial 'image'), terrible grammar, inarticulateness, lazy bums, uneducated people, vapidness, long-distance (though if I really cared about someone distance wouldn't prevent a relationship of a given kind), shy guys (who can't hold a conversation), egotists, dishonesty, not getting tested for STIs regularly, unsafe sex, poor English-speakers, plain ordinary people, histrionics and DRAMA, 'private people' who are uncomfortable expressing their emotions or acknowledging the people special to them in public, impatience, settling for less than great, elitism, ethnocentrism, bigotry, political correctness, grudges, sugar-coating, sadistic people, cheating, ignorance, pop-culture-idol-worship, inability to hold a conversation, one-word-aim-convs ('hey,' yeah, nm, wasup, ok) - smarterchild is more interesting!
Personality-wise, I am attracted off the bat to those who are confident, not cocky, are funny, sweet, compassionate, do not act too 'feminine' or fit into 'gay' stereotypical behavioral molds (without meaning to offend w' those terms ... are there better ones? ... argh why am I more attracted to straight guys?), have a coolness about them as well as warmth, are intelligent, honest and forthright, wise, independent, quirky, and non-conformist (Do not feel obligated to conform to social norms, as opposed to anti-conformists who purposely avoid them), carry actual opinions, yet remain open-minded, have artistic & creative talents, and all mentioned above. These are some of the traits I look for. A man need not possess a majority of these attributes to be a potentially serious boyfriend, but it would be nice
I am out of the closet, but still choose to not volunteer that I am gay to those I feel I cannot trust. I would not be against dating in public, for example, but will not flaunt a rainbow emblem. I've had relationships with girls, but have had no physical attraction and do not anticipate pursuing further romantic relationships with them. I am 'straight-acting' for the most part, though I find the expression to be a bit tactless. I believe love transcends gender boundaries. But physical attraction and sexual love is nice, and it's important enough for me to define my lifestyle over it. I may at some point wish to become a tolerance advocate in schools with respect to homophobia. Ultimately, I seek a happily married life with a man whom I love and children that we both adore. I'd probably want there to be a female mother figure, perhaps a great friend or even the surrogate mother, who would hopefully be a trusted friend [unless of course we adopt]
As far as relationships go, at this point in my life I only seek to date guys with whom the chance exists that we shall end up 'falling in love', developing an amazing bond, and forging a powerful long-lasting relationship. That does not mean I'm optimistic, for I hardly expect to build a relationship with most guys I go on a date with, on account of poor to fair compatibility (while I seek great compatibility). Compatibility, or how 'right' two people are for one another, can take a long time to ascertain. Often it is easier to tell early on that you do not click, but when everything feels right, I believe it's essential to give the getting-to-know-one-another process enough time to develop before concluding that you fit together even remotely. All too often one or both people in a relationship are too eager for things to work, and are all too often up for a major disappointment. I also expect most relationships to fail, if not end benignly (which statistically makes sense since most people have had multiple relationships). Nevertheless, I am eager to meet, get to know, forge a powerful relationship with, and grow to love an amazing guy.
In a relationship, I think honesty and communication are paramount. It is important to exchange thoughts and feelings. It is necessary to earn and build trust. Mr. 'Awesome Fit' needs to be able to accept that I don't hold back opinions, questions, observations, and statements of my feelings, and expect the same in return. It is important to share each other's expectations, relevant opinions, ideas, ideologies, philosophies, beliefs, and values.
Message me on myspace or i-m me if you feel you fit any of the categories above :)
aim = haikupebblemist (until i know you better)
msn = [email protected] (until i know you better) (No this is NOT my email address!)
Music:
What ever is beautiful, which can include, nostalgic music, jazz, anime, video game, film, Broadway, classical, international, new age, contemporary, rock, ex:, Anushka Shankar, Barber, Bill Evans, Bjork, bossa nova, Brahms, cello, Chopin, Chrono Trigger, Cirque du Soleil, classical guitar, Danny Elfman, Debussy, Disney, Dragon Quest series, Dvorak, Evanescence, Faure, Fiddler, Final Fantasy, flute, Gershwin, Godowsky, Grieg, Hana Yori Dango, Hans Zimmer, harp, Israeli music, James Horner, jazz piano, John Williams, Lion King, Liszt, marimba, Mendelssohn, Miles Davis, nes music, OC Remix, old cartoon themes, Opeth, orchestral, orchestrated film scores, Paula Cole, piano, Prokofiev, Rachmaninoff, Ravel, Ravi Shankar, Robert Ticsay piano music, salsa, Schoenberg, Scriabin, Secret of Mana, Shchedrin, Silverchair, Sunset Boulevard, symphonic Gundam, Szymanowski, Tchaikovsky, Tori Amos, violin, Yanni, ... to name a few ... I used to be in a J-Rock band, Kirei. I play the piano quite well and have dabbled on the violin.
Movies:
my favorite movies change throughout time: Disney, anything nostalgic, foreign films, intellectual films, independent films, sci fi, some anime, dramas, comedies, epic, fantasy, action dramas, all kinds, some examples:, Abyss, Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland, Amadeus, Amelie, American Beauty, American History X, Anna and the King, Army of Darkness, Awakenings, Azumi, Back to the Future trilogy, Batteries Not Included, Beauty and the Beast, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Beetlejuice, Billy Madison, Bird on a Wire, Blood Diamond, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Chaplin, Charlotte's Web, Cheesy Lifetime Movies, Chocolat, Cinderella, City of Lost Children, Clue, Coming to America, Congo, D.A.R.Y.L., Dancer in the Dark, Dark City, Death Becomes Her, Death to Smoochy, Demolition Man, Devil's Advocate, Dogma, Dragonheart, Dumbo, ET, Edward Scissorhands, Enemy of the State, Fern Gully, Fight Club, Finding Nemo, Flight of the Navigator, Frequency, Frighteners, Gattaca, Ghost, Grave of the Fireflies, Green Mile, Groundhog Day, Happy Gilmore, Harry and the Hendersons, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Heart and Souls, Highlander movies, Homeward Bound, Hook, Hotel New Hampshire, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, How to Succeed in Business, Incredibles, Independence Day, Interview with a Vampire, Jacob Two-two, James and the Giant Peach, Jerry Mcguire, Johnny Mnemonic, Jungle Book, Kill Bill, Kinsey, L.I.E., Lady and the Tramp, Lagaan, League of their Own, Legend, Life As A House, Life is Beautiful, Lilo and Stitch, Little Mermaid, Long Kiss Goodnight, Lucky # Sleven, Man on the Moon, Man Overboard, Mary Poppins, Matrix, Memento, Metropolis (animated), Milo and Otis, Mona Lisa Smile, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mulan, Never Ending Story, Nightmare before Christmas, Nutty Professor, 101 Dalmations (cartoon), Oscar, Pay it Forward, Pete's Dragon, Peter Pan w' Mary Martin, Pinocchio, Point of No Return, Power of one, Princess Mononoke, Proof, Radio Flyer, Raise the Red Lantern, Red Balloon, Rendition, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Robocop series, 7 years in Tibet, The Shadow, Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, Shoalin Soccer, Short Circuit, Shreks, Sin City, Sister Act, Sleeping Beauty, Spirited Away, Star Trek TNG movies, Superman series, Tank Girl, Terminator 2, The Associate, The Cure, The Game, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, The Rescuers Down Under, The Sound of Music, The Specials, The Sword in the Stone, The Wizard, The professional, Time Bandits, Titus, Total Recall, True Lies, Village of the Damned, Volcano High, Weird Science, What Dreams May Come, What about Bob?, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Wizard of Oz, Woody Allen films, X-Mens, Y Tu Mama Tambien, many foreign films I forgot the names to * I like leaving a good movie with more than I came in with
Favorite Actors: Angelina Jolie, Arnold Schwazenegger, Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, Christian Slater, Eddy Murphy, Edward Norton, Geena Davis, Goldie Hawn, Jodie Foster, Josh Hartnett, Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Julie Andrews, Keanu Reeves, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Mel Gibson, Robin Williams, Sandra Bullock, Sean Connery, Tom Cruise, Whoopi Goldberg, Will Smith, Woody Allen
Television:
Amazing Johnathan, ANIMAL PLANET, Animal Planet The Most Extreme, Anime: [subtitled unless a great dub], Bewitched, Comedies, Chelsea Lately, Crossballs: The Debate Show (2004), CSI, David the Gnome, Dawson's Creek, Dharma and Greg, Drawn Together, Duck Tales, Escaflowne, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Friends, Full Metal Panic Fumoffu, Game Shows, Gargoyles, I Dream of Jeanie, Jack-Ass, Kenshin, Lisa Lampanelli, Miss Swan clips on Mad Tv, Nature Boys, novelty shows, Ranma 1/2, Sci-Fi movies, Science and nature shows, shows nostalgic of childhood (early 90's shows), Simpsons, Smurfs, South Park, Star Trek TNG, Stephen Lynch, Tasteless programming with lots of skin (what can I say? ... I'm a guy), The Colbert Report, Trigger Happy TV, Trigun, Wild Boys, X-Men (Marvel original)
Books:
Please recommend some! Unfortunately I have not read many books in my life. Some I do remember reading and enjoying included some Michael Crichton: Congo, Jurassic Park, Lost World; Cry the Beloved Country, Hobbit, Jungle Book, Very Hungry Caterpillar, Far Side, Garfield, Dr. Seuss, ... as you can see I need help :-p
Recommendations and Books to read / acquire: And Tango Makes Three, Catcher in the Rye, Sword in the Storm, Frannie and Zoe, The Stranger, Brave New World, Catch 22, 1984, [Kafka's short stories], The Critique of Pure Reason (Kant), Dialogues (Plato), The Fountainhead, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, ... any suggestions?
Heroes:
Gandhi, Happy people who manage to bring joy to others without hurting them yet still enriching their lives, Passionate geniuses who share their craft
