Brian

I got a rough start in life... Even before I was born, I suffered a traumatic fall when the front porch gave way beneath my mother, sending her to the concrete floor of the basement below. She was rushed to the hospital, and, thank God, the doctors assured her I would be fine. For those of you that know me, we know that they were full of shit. Not wanting to be a one-hit wonder, I gave a repeat performance at 8 months when I successfully tested my leg strength by springing backwards off a church pew and landing square on my less-than-intelligent noggin. The judges gave me a 7.8 because I didn't stick my landing, and the doctors continued to fall for my bluff as they stood by their original prognosis... suckers. Later, around the age of 4, I would go on to dive headfirst down a flight of stairs to reunite with my long lost friend, the concrete basement floor. Apparently the blanket about my neck did not possess the cape-like powers I was banking/diving on.To make a long story short: head trauma, head trauma, highschool, head trauma, head trauma, college party, pass out, regain conciousness, apparently ANOTHER head trauma, taxes, head trauma, time of present day man.To be fair, though, life has blessed me with good times, good friends, and good fortune. Just as metallic lions have been known to come together to form Voltron, these three goods crossed paths at the same instant and yielded, dare I say, the greatest moment of my life - I beat Mario Kart 64 using only my feet!Yep, I live life to the fullest - except when I'm updating my profile on MySpace.