Stickin' it to the man, bucking the system, nay-saying and debunking in general -- all from my armchair. New York style pizza by-the-slice. Brutal death metal, grindcore, shoegazer and Britpop. Really, really smart people that shower daily. The law. Artists. Snake oil salesmen, hucksters, flim-flammers, sorcerers, wizards, illusionists and prestidigitators. Foreigners and their cultures. In-N-Out. Double bass and blastbeats. Goth chicks. Patron Añejo. Zubrowka and cran-apple juice. Rockabilly chicks. That tall platform dancer with raven hair at Bar Sinister last Saturday. Polyhedral dice and the escapist fantasy they represent to a small-town Ohio boy in the early 80's. Other people that save their childhood love notes. Women that wear prosthetic elf ears. Accurately identifying a girl's perfume from 20 yards away. Mocking religion. Women over 5'9". Short people with attitudes. Anyone who can out-eat me and/or drink me under the table (like Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark). Women that do NOT drink apple, cucumber or mango "martinis" (unless they're REALLY good-looking and don't dye or bleach their hair). Avid anti-smokers. Opportunistic hypocrites whom are able to convince others of their (self-) righteousness. Women that drive old cars or pickup trucks or anything other than a goddamn silver BMW 300-series with those goddamn little clip-on air fresheners attached to their dashboard vents. History buffs. Aquariums. Firearms. Peaceniks. Militia members. Political gadflies. College commies. Four-hour colossal combos. Whistleblowers. The Internet. What's behind the curtain. Technology. Cockney slang. Dub, dancehall, toasting and hotsteppin'. Clam chowder. Fake Rasta street minstrels with speakers hidden in their oversized novelty hats. Downtuned open chords on a 7-string. Smartasses. The build-up.
I'd like to meet:
Someone who can point to Norton, Ohio on a map.
Someone else who voted for Nader in the past two elections and isn't ashamed to admit it.
Someone who can make me laugh out loud.
Someone who can tell me something I don't already know.
Someone else who HATES Chinese chicken salads, Buffalo wings and marshmallow peeps.
I also want to meet this kid:
Music:
The short answer: Metal, Shoegazer, Britpop and Dub, as well as the rare but occasional new artist that manages to blow me away with his/her raw talent, innovation and authenticity.
The longer answer: Anything using one or more of the following: a thundering Tama Iron Cobra double kick pedal; a downtuned, heavily distorted, 7-string guitar; an amplified hollow-body electric guitar through tube amps (like Dwayne uses in the Stevenson Ranch Davidians); more crash cymbals than one would deem necessary (preferably played open on half notes to accompany bold chords by a guitar); and a bass slung extra-low such that it barely clears the stage floor whilst its wideeyed player glares ominously at the transfixed crowd below (like Meg from My Ruin used to do).
On XM Radio:
29 U-Pop
42 Liquid Metal
43 XMU
47 Ethel
48 Squizz
52 The Verge
54 Lucy
66 RAW
101 The Joint
150 XM Comedy
The band list:
AC/DC
All Out War
All That Remains
Avenged Sevenfold
Avril Lavigne (I'm NOT kidding)
Big Star
Bullet For My Valentine
Creeper Lagoon
Crowbar (pre-2001)
The Dears
Deconstruction (they broke up)
Devourment
Diecast ('97-'02 only)
Electric Wizard
Ether Aura
Every Man 4 Himself
Fireball Ministry
400 Blows
Helen Stellar
Helio Sequence
Helmet
Hum (they broke up)
Killswitch Engage
KCRW at night as I drive past the city lights
Lacuna Coil
Machinemade God
Manmade God (they broke up)
Massive Attack
Meat Beat Manifesto
Medicine (they broke up)
My Bloody Valentine (they broke up)
My Ruin (the Yael years)
Neil Young
No God Innocent
Ocean Blue
Orange (early 90's, from Michigan)
Pink Floyd
Portishead
Prince (when he was known as Prince)
Public Enemy
Radar Brothers
Red House Painters / Sun Kil Moon / Mark Kozelek
Ride (they broke up)
Riverside (they broke up)
Sabrosa Purr
Sigur Ros
Slayer ('85-'92 only)
Slowdive (they broke up)
Smashing Pumpkins (Gish and Siamese Dream only)
Sons of Otis
Star 69 (they broke up)
The Start
Stick (one album in '93 on Arista, then *poof*)
Teenage Fanclub
This Mortal Coil
Ugly Stik (they played a Zolton House party in '91)
Movies:
Artists: Stanley Kubrick, Steven Soderbergh, Michael Moore, John Hughes, P.T. Anderson, David Lynch, David Fincher, The Coen Brothers, Danny Boyle, M. Night Shyamalan, Christopher Guest, Ridley Scott, Atom Egoyan, Adrian Lyne, Alexander Payne.
Titles:
About Schmidt
Akira
Alien (Director's Cut)
Amelie
American Beauty
American History X
American Movie
American Splendor
Animal House
Annie Hall
Apocalypse Now
Babel
Band of Brothers
The Big Blue
Black Hawk Down
Black Rain (for my Japan fetish)
Blade Runner (Director's Cut)
Blazing Saddles
Blood Simple
Blow-Up
Blue Velvet
Boogie Nights
Bowling for Columbine
Boys Don't Cry
The Breakfast Club
Carrie
Cast Away
Children of Men
Code 46
Contact
The Contender
Cop Land
Dangerous Game
Deliverance
Desperately Seeking Susan
Devil's Playground (I grew up a few miles from Amish country)
Do The Right Thing
Dr. Strangelove
Election
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Excalibur
The Exorcist (the 1973 original)
Exotica
Eyes Wide Shut
Fahrenheit 9/11
Fargo
Ferris Buller's Day Off
Fletch/Fletch Lives
Forrest Gump
The French Connection
Full Metal Jacket
Garden State (for restoring my faith in love)
Get Shorty
Go
The Godfather (all three)
Good Will Hunting
Goodfellas
The Graduate
Halloween (the 1978 original)
Happiness
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Heat
In The Bedroom
In The Gloaming (HBO original)
Internal Affairs
Jackie Brown
Jacob's Ladder
JFK
Johnny Handsome
Jungle Fever
Juno
Kill Bill (Part I)
Kung Fu Hustle
The Last Chase
Leaving Las Vegas
Leolo
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
The Long Good Friday
Lord of the Rings (all three)
Lost In Translation
Mad Max
Magnolia
The Matrix
Meet the Parents
Memento
A Mighty Wind
Mississippi Burning
Mr. Mom
Monster's Ball
Monty Python and The Holy Grail
My Cousin Vinny
Mystic River
Napoleon Dynamite
National Lampoon's Vacation
9 1/2 Weeks (when Rourke was god)
No Country For Old Men
North Country
Notes On A Scandal
Office Space
Once
One Night Stand
Orlando
Paris, Texas
The Passion of the Christ (for Mel's courage)
Path to War
The Pianist
The Piano
Pink Floyd: The Wall
Pirates of Silicon Valley
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Pulp Fiction
Pretty In Pink
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Reservoir Dogs
Revenge (Madeleine Stowe... mmmmm.)
The Road Warrior
Roger & Me
Ronin (Natascha McElhone... mmmmm.)
The Rules of Attraction (Shannyn Sossamon... mmmmm.)
Rushmore
Saturday Night Fever
Saving Private Ryan
Sea of Love
Se7en
Sex, Lies and Videotape
Sexy Beast
The Shining
Shopgirl
Sideways
Signs
A Simple Plan
Sixteen Candles
The Sixth Sense
Sling Blade
Solaris
Star Wars
Stevie
The Straight Story
Strange Days
Straw Dogs
Street Fight (Cory Booker Documentary)
Sweet Sixteen
Swingers
The Terminator
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the 1974 original)
There Will Be Blood
The Thing (the 1982 remake)
Thirteen
This Is Spinal Tap
Three Kings (Ice Cube handling baggage = genius)
Traffic
Trainspotting
Trigger Effect
21 Grams
24 Hour Party People
28 Days Later
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
2001: A Space Odyssey
Unfaithful
The Usual Suspects
Vanilla Sky (only for the flirting scenes)
The Village
Waiting For Guffman
The Young Americans (because I won't give up the idea of visiting England)
Young Frankenstein
Television:
Now that I'm self-employed (and have free cable), I tend to watch more TV than I should. Here's a list of past and present favorites:
The Adam Carolla Project
Alien Nation (1989)
All In The Family
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Clean Sweep (I like seeing other people's messes)
The Comeback
CSI: Miami (for the great David Caruso)
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Deadwood
Dirty Jobs
Dog The Bounty Hunter
The Dog Whisperer
Family Guy
Gerhard Reinke's Wanderlust
Good Eats
Gordon Elliott's Doorknock Dinners (1999)
The Grid (2004)
Huff
In A Fix
Iron Chef (original and America)
It Takes A Thief
Little People, Big World
Mad TV
Miami Vice (1984)
Moonlighting (1985)
My So-Called Life (1994)
NYPD Blue (only the Caruso, Smits and Schroder years)
The Office (American version)
Party Of Five (1994)
Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
Pimp My Ride
Popular (1999)
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Real Time with Bill Maher
Rob & Big
The Shield
Six Feet Under
Sopranos
The Soup
South Park
Survivorman
Take Home Chef
Trailer Park Boys
24
What Not To Wear
The Wire
Books:
Do websites count? I haven't cracked a book in about five years. My parents paid for my books in college but I never read them and I sold them back at the end of every semester and pocketed the cash. I think the last book I actually read was some self-help book about codependent relationships, which proved useful. Ironically enough, the book was lent to me by the very girl I was in a codependent relationship with. I'm a visual person, so trying to concentrate on little black letters on white paper for hours at a time just doesn't do it for me. I guess that could be a problem if I plan on being a writer.
Killing Hope: U. S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II by William Blum
Fatal Subtraction by Art Buchwald
Retro Hell by the publishers of Ben Is Dead magazine
Cosmos by Carl Sagan
The Abolition of Work and Other Essays by Bob Black
Life in Hell by Matt Groening
Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
Heroes:
Dr. Michael Newdow (sued his California school district so his daughter wouldn't be forced to say an unconstitutional Pledge of Allegiance every day in our taxpayer-funded public school system)
Joseph Frederick (18-year old Alaskan high school senior who unfurled 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' banner off-campus during Olympic parade)
The ACLU
Jon Lech Johansen (for cracking CSS and DRM)
Lewis Black
Fred Willard
Mohandas Gandhi
Steve Irwin (for always doing what he loved)
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dr. Richard Martin (M.S.U. Humanities professor)
Frank Miller (a childhood idol)
James Madison (for drafting the United States Constitution)
Oliver Cromwell (for overthrowing King Charles I in 1646)
Michael Moore
Ralph Nader (for running for President to make a point)
Madalyn Murray OHair (for being an atheist when it wasn't easy to do so)
John Ryan (11th grade H.S. psychology teacher)
NY Atty. Gen. Eliot Spitzer (for leaving no stone unturned in his crusade against corruption)
My uncle; Dr. Dennis Norman Jacobs, DDS
Carl Brutananadilewski
