Jayne profile picture

Jayne

Champagne makes me cry

About Me

I get REALLY angry when I accidentally bite the inside of my cheek.....

My Interests

Drinking all night, collecting elves, dressing up in other peoples' clothes, singing badly in the car, writing songs no-one will ever hear, buying stuff i don't need, saying yes when i should say no....Getting on and off planes, chasing love against a headwind, breathing in and out, giving off the wrong impression, dreaming the impossible dream, laughing as the shit comes down, wasting precious time...

I'd like to meet:

God. i have some questions...Failing that Stephen Fry.Or these guys, they look like fun.....

Music:

Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand, Brighteyes, The Cure, Editors, Kylie, The Killers, Depeche Mode, Arctic Monkeys, The Subways, Futureheads, Hard-fi, The Flaming Lips, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Long Blondes, Pheonix...so many bands so little time....Glasgow rocks!

Movies:

AMELIE - Just the sweetest movie i've ever seen. And I like garden gnomes.HEARTBREAKERS - Gene Hackman is brilliant as the chain-smoking millionaire being hussled by Sigourney Weaver and her sidekick daughter Jennifer Love-Hewitt.ELF - Oh, how i laughed.LA CABINA (The Telephone Box) - some weird Spanish film about a guy who gets trapped in a phonebox. Workmen appear with tools but they can't set him free. A crowd gathers and watch him fascinated as he gets more and more panicked, one's a baker with a tray of cakes and they're all eating these as they enjoy the spectacle. Eventually the whole telephone box with him in it is lifted onto a lorry..the last scene is him being driven into a huge warehouse filled with more telephone boxes containing dead people in various states of decomposure. I've only seen it once when I was a kid but it's haunted me every since. I've yet to meet someone else who's seen it. Maybe it was a bad dream....TRANSAMERICA - A bitter sweet off-beat road movie about a transexual guy finding his son. Soundtrack is pretty cool too.Saw III - I hate horror movies but it was raining cats and dogs outside and it was the only film I didn't have to wait more than an hour to see. It's great if you like watching someone having their arms, legs and head slowly screwed off by a torture machine (it was constructed by a psychopath who wants to teach everyone a lesson in forgiveness, hmmm tough love). The most frightening thing about this movie though, is that people actually pay money in the name of entertainment to watch people being terrified and mutilated. I worry about us humans, I really do.

Television:

A few blood cells short of a plasma.

Books:

The Crow Road, by Iain Banks. Best opening line:"It was the day my grandmother exploded."The End of Faith by Sam HarrisThis book changed the way i regard religion, in particular the Muslim religion.I always thought it was best to respect other people's beliefs regardless, but how can you tolerate a religion that advocates the murder of innocents? The main thrust of Harris's argument is that with today's weapons of mass destruction, we can't afford to tolerate such beliefs. We wince when we read about the latest suicide bomber blowing up a bus in the Middle East, but how long will it be before these religious warriors get their hands on weapons which have the ability to reach us in our cosy Western homes? Maybe then we'll wake up, but by then it could be too late.I'm not racist or a bigot, if I have to label myself then I'd say I was a humanist. I believe the human race has so much potential but religion is suffocating us, holding us back. I find it puzzling and frightening that so many millions of people around the world; Catholics, Muslims, Mormons...can suspend reason in favour of the teachings of ancient books which have no basis in fact. Books which have inspired some of the worst atrocities in human history, such as the Spanish Inquisition and 9/11. And when you question this? The answer you invariably get is: "I have faith." Well, I call it ignorance. And anyone who thinks it's harmless are ignorant too.SPACEMAN by Robert Olen ButlerWHIT by Iain Banks

Heroes:

I need a hero... and he's gotta be big and he's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be larger than life...

My Blog

40 days and 40 nights

It's been raining forever. Non-stop. And I mean non-stop. You know it's bad when even the Scots start wondering why the sky has been crying for so long. And we're not exaggerating, it's been the wette...
Posted by Jayne on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 07:24:00 PST

Things that are soft, like velvet...

1. velvet2. puppy dogs' ears3. that bit, just inside and left a bit4. babies' cheeks5. melted chocolate between your fingers6. my hair 7. the underside of a magnolia leaf8. tanned skin9. red paint10. ...
Posted by Jayne on Sat, 04 Nov 2006 04:27:00 PST

Save a life TODAY!

The JourneyOne day you finally knewwhat you had to do, and began,though the voices around youkept shoutingtheir bad advice -though the whole housebegan to trembleand you felt the old tugat your ankles...
Posted by Jayne on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 01:41:00 PST

Sports bra pour homme

Some boffin in American has come up with a solution to an age-old problem...It's still at the prototype stage and needs a bit of, umm, tweaking. If they could just work out how to build in an xbox, it...
Posted by Jayne on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:42:00 PST

A word of advice for the girlies...

Don't use Bobbi Brown's Facial Buffing Grains. I've had one stuck in my eye since last Tuesday and it's killing me.
Posted by Jayne on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 06:45:00 PST

Things to do in Glasgow when you're dead good...

I've given up my Friday night out to babysit my Godson which I don't mind cause I'm such a selfless individual  - and he's just lovely really. Anyway, Liam's in bed and I'm listening to the ...
Posted by Jayne on Fri, 14 Jul 2006 02:38:00 PST

I still get depressed...

...when I see "Back to School" signs in shop windows.
Posted by Jayne on Tue, 04 Jul 2006 04:32:00 PST

Has the c-word become acceptable?

This was the topic of conversation me and my girlfriends had over dinner on Saturday night.Traditionally the c-word was only ever used by men, and then only when there was no females in earshot. But w...
Posted by Jayne on Mon, 12 Jun 2006 09:13:00 PST

Amazing animal facts No. 1207...

When the Australian alpaca is not grazing or carrying heavy stuff about, it enjoys nothing more than a good game of rugby with its boy...Want one? Log onto www.alpacaseller.com...
Posted by Jayne on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:49:00 PST

Prick...

...
Posted by Jayne on Sun, 21 May 2006 09:39:00 PST