Church of the Living Chapstick

About Me

We belive: Chapstick (also known as lip balm) is the one and only true supreme god of the world. Those who reject chapstick will burn and chap.

To those who remind me that Chapstick is a registed trademark of Wyeth Consumer Healthcare, I Say: You can not copyright god (though most religions have).
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Pat Robertson Jerry Falwell width="425" height="350" ..%D%A %D%A
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Television:

There has yet to be a Chapstick Sitcom, News show, or animated cartoon, and so I like the Daily Show and the Colbert Report

Books:

The History of Chapstick Vol. 1-3, The Book of Chapstick, The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit, The Bubble Bible!

Heroes:

Dr. C. D. Fleet, John Morton, Alfred Woelbing, Burt

My Blog

Chaptionary

Chapartheid - A system by which the government keeps users of different kinds of Chapsticks separate. Pointless and bad, like the original word.Chaphrodisiac - A substance that makes you want to use C...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 06:10:00 PST

The Book of Chapstick PREVIEW

This is looking like the begining of the Book of Chapstick:This is a Holy Book. And like all Holy Books, if you look hard enough, you may be able find a fair amount of holes in it.But hell, have you l...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:59:00 PST

THE CHAPOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!!!!!!

THE CHAPOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!!!!!! LASTNIGHT WAS THE FIRST STAGE OF THE LONG AWAITED CHAPOCALYPSE! IN THE COMING WEEKS LOOK FOR SIGNS OF CHAPSTICK'S GLORIOUS ARRIVAL TO EARTH! AND BE SURE TO USE LOTS...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:55:00 PST

Holidays

So tommorows my birthday. And I dont really care. But in the last few years I have tried hard (but not actualy very hard) to start a holiday about chapstick. The most recent attempt was "Chapstick App...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Sun, 05 Mar 2006 02:02:00 PST

Blog

I don't plan on using this much, so for news go to: http://www.dhost.info/chapstick/home.htmlBut just to fill up space, heres a quote from Epicurus" "Is God willing to prevent e...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Sat, 04 Mar 2006 10:36:00 PST

Pyromania

My pyromania manifests itself is strange ways... Today I was finishing a chapstick shirt, and you have too heat shirts to allow the paint to merge with the fabric. And i do this in the broken toaster...
Posted by Church of the Living Chapstick on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 06:37:00 PST