tomasz profile picture

tomasz

oh what a world

About Me


i rap , i sing, i make beats. i also play conceptual doom when the spirit moves me. i am essentially owned and operated by music. i frequently make a tit of myself, and am approaching the stage where i couldn't really care. i am quick-tongued. my last personnel report described me as an "irritating know-it-all", but it's not like i can help knowing lots o'shit. i'm Salford-born, Glasgow-studied, and residing somewhere near Crewe, which explains my ridiculous mongrel accent. i overuse the word "ridiculous", and also most forms of profanity, which contrary to popular cliche is not actually any indication of the breadth of a person's vocabulary. i am fuelled by strong coffee or similar caffeinated beverages. i fucking hate hippies and students (though, to be fair, there are some decent enough ones of the latter, not that many tho – you've got all the finest minds of history at your disposal, stop pissing about in the student union and go to the fucking library for once). apparently i now am the kind of loser that is on Facebook.i'm out of things to say at the moment but will return later.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

this is the shit i do for fun.

this is what i used to do for fun:

Music:

65DaysofStatic. Aesop Rock. Ani DiFranco. Atoms Fam. Bad Religion. Birds. Blak Twang. Blockhead. Buck 65. Cage. Cannibal Ox. Cardiacs. Cheer-Accident. Company Flow. Converge. C-Rayz Walz. Dälek. Dangerdoom. David Jack. Dead Kennedys. Desert Island Dicks. Despot. Digital Underground. DJ Shadow. earthtone9. El-P. eX-Girl. Four Tet. Gang of Four. gay against you. Germlin. Immortal Technique. Ivor Cutler. J Dilla. Jello Biafra. Jenny Lewis. Jenny Owen Youngs. Joanna Newsom. Lou Reed. Madvillain. Martha Wainwright. Men's Recovery Project. Merzbow. MF Doom. Million Dead. Mr Lif. Nadja. Nomeansno. Non-Prophets. Out from Animals. Ornette Coleman. Perceptionists. Prefuse 73. Propagandhi. Regina Spektor. Rob Sonic. RJD2. Rufus Wainwright. SA Smash. Sage Francis. Same Shit:Different Decade. Sarah Slean. Saul Williams. Shibusashirazu Orchestra. Themselves. The Blueprint. The Conet Project . The Fall. The KLF. The Mars Volta. The Styrenes. The Velvet Underground. The Wildhearts. Third Eye Foundation. 30,000 Bastards . Tom Waits. Tori Amos. Twin Zero. Vast Aire. Venetian Snares. Weathermen. Wu-Tang. Yoko, Oh No! Zombina and the Skeletones. for a fuller picture, see here .

Movies:

most films are just good ideas for TV shows stretched out unnecessarily over-long. people who make a big show of being "anti-TV" while also claiming to be really into films are simply being dumbfucks with no sense of irony.
1984. American Beauty. American History X. Audition. Battle Royale. The Big Lebowski. Bringing Out the Dead. The Cremaster Cycle. Death to Smoochy. Donnie Darko. Elephant. Fight Club (wow, just imagine how good Survivor would've been if it could've been filmed...). Freddy Got Fingered. Full Metal Jacket. Good Will Hunting. Happiness. How High. The Hudsucker Proxy. It's a Wonderful Life. Kids. Last Days. Magnolia. My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117. Nowhere. Once Were Warriors. Outfoxed. The Pawnbroker. Pi. Rubber Johnny. Se7en. Spellbound. Storytelling. The Straight Story. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? please stop calling Angelina Jolie (a) attractive; (b) worthwhile in any other way. she is neither. she is a COMPLETE TALENTLESS HACK. see also: Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Dita von Teese. for the latter, add "passe" and "about as outrageous as Yorkshire Tea".
please stop calling Requiem for a Dream "beautiful", "meaningful" or anything of the other hagiographic blather that gets talked about it. it's a piece of fanciful, emotionally sterile, style-over-substance tripe that doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same paragraph as Pi.

Television:

"Red sky at night - shepherd's delight; red sky in the morning - too much to drink again trying to free your mind from the brain it was born in"
24. Brass Eye. Channel 4 News (word to Jon Snow). Curb Your Enthusiasm. Freaks & Geeks. Futurama. Human Remains. jam. Killing Time. My Parents Are Aliens. Nip/Tuck. People Like Us. Starved (funniest show ever cancelled after seven episodes?). The Andy Milonakis Show. The Day Today. The Simpsons. Undeclared ( he's right, Judd Apatow should have at least one series that doesn't get prematurely axed). Street Crime UK. Trailer Park Boys. Weeds. Wonder Showzen. World's Wildest Police Videos. any shows involving fat people, crashes and explosions, confrontational infidelity, large marine tableaux, dwarves, orthopaedic shoes or street luge.
"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms" --- att. Alan Coren
You killed comedy, you pricks:
Bo' Selecta. Born Sloppy. Extras. Little Britain. Marcus Brigstocke. Nathan Barley. The Boosh in any/all of its various wretched incarnations. The entire worthless career of Joel Veitch and his grotty spawn (Nathan Barley could've just been a documentary about that cock). The Office. Tittyfuckingbangbang (who thought that title was a good idea? and who was the first person to hear it without subsequently punching them facially?)
Go away and try writing an ACTUAL JOKE, all of you.

Books:

Joseph Heller 'Catch-22', 'Closing Time'. Douglas Coupland 'Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture', 'Microserfs', 'Life After God', 'Girlfriend in a Coma', 'Hey Nostradamus!' (devastating return to form), 'Eleanor Rigby' (still there). Bret Easton Ellis 'American Psycho'. Luke Rhinehart 'The Dice Man'. Albert Camus 'L'Etranger'. Mark Z Danielewski 'House of Leaves'. Franz Kafka 'Metamorphosis' et al. Bill Drummond '45', 'The Manual: How to Have a Number One Hit the Easy Way'. Richard Brautigan 'Revenge of the Lawn', 'Sombrero Fallout'. Charles Bukowski 'Post Office', 'Factotum'. Naomi Klein 'No Logo', 'Fences and Windows'. Kalle Lasn 'Culture Jam'. Dan Savage 'Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America'. All the various Adrian Mole books (word andy). Simon Armitage 'All Points North', 'Killing Time'. Alan Sillitoe 'Saturday Night and Sunday Morning'. F Scott Fitzgerald 'The Great Gatsby'. Oscar Wilde 'The Picture of Dorian Gray'. Aaron Cometbus 'Despite Everything: A Cometbus Omnibus' (as recommended to anyone who's ever been (a) into punk; (b) in love). Lester Bangs 'Psychotic Reactions and Carburettor Dung'. Michael Azzerad 'Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991' (utterly inspiring). Everett True 'Live Through This: American Rock Music in the Nineties' (ibid.). George Orwell '1984', 'Down and Out in Paris and London', 'The Road to Wigan Pier', 'Coming Up for Air', 'Animal Farm'. James Joyce 'Ulysses' (what's not to like??). Jon Savage 'England's Dreaming'. Hitchhiker's 'trilogy'. Mark Steel 'Reasons to be Cheerful'. Spike Milligan 'Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall' (and, in fact, the other six volumes too). Aesop Rock 'The Living Human Curiosity Sideshow' (think i'm joking? it's a lyric book and it still eats and shits everything on yr top 10 bestseller lists). Tom Wolfe 'The Bonfire of the Vanities'. Kevin Williamson 'Drugs and the Party Line'. Elizabeth Wurtzel 'Prozac Nation'.
people who insist that "comics are for adults, too!" generally only serve to highlight how excruciatingly, laughably, craply adolescent most so-called 'adult' comics are. having said this, props to Daniel Clowes' 'Ghost World' and 'David Boring', Tom Tomorrow's clip-arty style and Nothing Nice to Say for all you punk bitches. Also Shannon Wheeler's Too Much Coffee Man owns the entire world.
p.s. Dan Brown? hack writer. for entertaining pseudo-biblical hokum why not try Michael Drosnin's 'The Bible Code' instead? at least your eyes won't keep haemorrhaging at the sheer badness of the prose.

Heroes:

Lester Bangs, Jack Bauer and our grandparents' generation

My Blog

hooray! Valentine’s day is nearly here again!

...
Posted by tomasz on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:30:00 PST

2007: A year in records.

i figured since we were now a month away from 2007, now would be a suitable time to drop my reflections on a year's music on the people.Top 10" El-P  I'll Sleep When You're Dead: The most deliberate,...
Posted by tomasz on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:05:00 PST

brilliant letter to The Times the other day

(and i paraphrase)Sir,    If the police do win the right to strike, presumably the Government will be sending in busloads of miners to intimidate them? Forgotten-named London wit....
Posted by tomasz on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 07:19:00 PST

"A Christmas Poem"

At Christmas little children sing and merry bells jingle,The cold winter air makes our hands and faces tingleAnd happy families go to church and cheerily they mingleAnd the whole business is unbelieva...
Posted by tomasz on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:57:00 PST

Why loneliness may damage health

..> Lonely people can be vulnerable to illness ..>US scientists may have uncovered a genetic reason why lonely people may have poorer health. The UCLA research, published ...
Posted by tomasz on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:01:00 PST

"cure for cancer being kept from us!" or, "a quite ferocious level of bullshit"

there's a cure for cancer and it already exists! but it's being kept from us by the big bad drug companies and cancer charities so they can get more money to pretend to do research with! just check o...
Posted by tomasz on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:45:00 PST

i have no patience and i cant wait

my friend Joe did an album called Youth Pixxel on ADAADAT records, and one of the stand-out tracks (to be fair, they're all great, but this is an exceptional stand-out: download a clip of it here or t...
Posted by tomasz on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:41:00 PST

ducks for sale

someone tried to sell some ducks via our work noticeboard.some other wag added their own take on the deal.harsh realm....
Posted by tomasz on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 02:54:00 PST

Watermark

because it seemed apt.I count to three and grin. You smile and let me in. We sit and watch the wall you painted purple. Speech will spill on space. Our little cups of grace. But pauses rattle on abou...
Posted by tomasz on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 06:44:00 PST

my dream woman has a name

...and that name is Sarah 'Big S' Silverman."Sarah smokes four days a week, typically Tuesdays, Thursdays, fridays, and Saturday after temple or a toe-curling masturbation episode, both of which take ...
Posted by tomasz on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 06:24:00 PST