Andy Kleiman - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am an comedian with many faces. I'm a stand-up comic, writer/performer in a sketch troupe The Bacivo Nuggets , a featured writer for two comedy websites, The Phat Phree and Super Awesome Wow and the best chainsaw juggler you will ever see.
I have more energy than I know what to do with which some people find annyoing while others find it adorable, I tend to agree with the ladder. It seems that the little things that get me more excited than the bigger things. I have a puppy named Murray. I recently got new bedsheets and am pretty excitied about them. I'm also a cancer survivor (hodgkins lymphoma to be specific) and didn't lose my hair, so that's a positive.
This is the trailer for a sketch comedy show my comedy troupe, The Bacivo Nuggets, wrote. It's called The Penis Soliloquies. Enjoy!
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
The Vagina has had its say, NOW THE PENIS TALKS!
Here's a sketch "Dick and Jane" from The Penis Soliloquies. Enjoy!
Get this video and more at MySpace.com

My Interests

I basically have 3 loves. Comedy, sports (baseball and football), and woman, however, it should be noted, I love them separately. Also, eatting is always a good activitiy, especially good italian food. Oh, and adventures, I am always up for a good adventure anytime.

I'd like to meet:

Dr. Claw

Music:

Green Day, The Offspring, Postal Service, The Gorillaz, Black Eyed Peas, Modest Mouse, anything that tickles my fancy just right. I actually have more CD of Comedians than Music, so I'll list my favorite comedians. Russ Meneve, Wali Collins, John Mullaney, Dan Naturman, DC Benny, Dave Attell, Patton Oswalt, Louis C.K, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Zach Galifankis, Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby, Ellen DeGenerous, Ray Ramano, Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan, Gary Gullman, Kyle Cease, Lisa Landry and oh so many more.

Movies:

Not a huge movie person mainly because I have trouble sitting still for more than 5 minutes. HOWEVER, there are some movies which have been able to capture my attention. Ghostbuster 1 & 2, Spider-Man 1 & 2, Little Miss Sunshine, Austin Powers 1,2,3, any Mel Brooks movie, any Kevin Smith movie, Snatch, Batman Beyond, Office Space, Super Troopers, Forrest Gump, Mystery Men, Old School, Road Trip, When Harry Met Sally.

Movies I wasn't a fan of: Legally Blonde, King Kong, Rudy, Scary Movie 2 & 3, Fletch, Sin City Oh, and I've never seen any of the Lord of the Ring movies and never plan to (mainly just to piss off my nerd friends, but also I refer you back to the top)

Television:

I LOVES me TV. Arrested Development, The Office (UK and US version), Scrubs, Boston Legal, Clone High, Family Guy, The Simpsons, 24, Conan, Daily Show, The Colbert Report, PTI, American Idol (only the auditions), Home Movies, Seinfeld, Sports Night, Curb Your Enthusiasm, To Catch a Preditor, Dead Like Me, Saturday Night Live, South Park, Reno 911!, I Love the ___'s, Best Week Ever, Unan1mous

Books:

Does the sports section count?

Heroes:

My parents, Lancer Armstrong, Cal Ripken Jr.

My Blog

Sportscasters are morons

There are over 6 billion people on earth. You'd have to think that out of the 6 billion, there would be some good sports broadcasters out there, and there are, but not nearly as many as there sh...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Sun, 01 Apr 2007 12:03:00 PST

University of Crap

I used to work at a community college. Community College of Baltimore County to be exactly, or the CCBC if you're in the know. I worked in continuing education department. The contin...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 01:22:00 PST

Cancer free for one year

You read correctly ladies and gentlemen. As of March 10, it will officially be one year since my last chemotherapy or as it better knows as, LYMPHOMANIA! So in honor of a 365 days of cance...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 10:27:00 PST

Damn You Axe Body Spray

Damn you Axe Body Spray and your awesome commercials. If only you weren't selling the shittest of shitty&what are you anyway? You're not as sensible as a deodorant, you're definitely not a...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:41:00 PST

Hey Don Davovan, I Peed In Your Bed

Hey Don, remember me? It's Andy, we lived together junior year with Greg and Nick. Well, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I peed in your bed midway through the semester.Yup, that's right, I ...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:39:00 PST

Why I Prefer Blow Jobs Over Sex

Ok, I know that the ultimate goal in life to have lots of sex and whoever has the most sex at the end of life wins, but I gotta tell ya, I prefer the blow job.Sex is like a clean-up hitter and a blow ...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 11:49:00 PST

A Change for Pansy Mascots

I consider myself a sports fan. I have ESPN as my homepage, watch Sports Center at least once a day and I must say now is a very exciting time for college sports. National Signing Da...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 12:35:00 PST

Why Valentine's Day Is OVERRATED!

You might want to sit down for this one, it could take a while. There is no holiday worse than Valentine's Day. First off, it is the only one on this list that can be deemed a "Hallm...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 09:38:00 PST

Girls Crying...Awesome!

I enjoy watching girls cry. It's not like I'm hiding in the bushes with a pair of binoculars and some lotion and tissues, mind you, but it definitely is one of my ...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 09:56:00 PST

Oh Hippies, You Crack Me Up!

Oh hippies, you crack me up. With your protests and your rallies and your marches and whatever ineffective way you can protest Bush, I love you&well actually, I hate you&I love to...
Posted by Andy Kleiman on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 01:33:00 PST