Tanya...... profile picture

Tanya......

Well, life is a dream, and we're all walking in our sleep, you can see us stand in lines like we're

About Me



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I believe in love. I am strange and quirky. I paint pictures in the sky and skry with tea leaves. Your aura leaves me breathless and the words of those long dead are sweet wine upon my tongue, whispers that must be spoken.
In all things, kindness and honor should reign supreme, for love without honesty is another form of self worship, and I fear I am weary of glittering dolls that merely sparkle. I long for conversation, true and noble. The kind that makes your ears bleed and your brain scream for more.
So, dress in your finest rags and bring a bottle of clarity along, for this ride called life is begging us to get on, the road to tomorrow pot-holed and startling in its quiet brilliance.

There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending. - Abraham Lincoln

My Interests

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. -- Luciano de Crescenzo

I'd like to meet:

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself - Oscar Wilde

See That My Grave Is Kept Clean....
"The liner notes in Harry Smith’s compilation Anthology of American Folk Music states that this song was recorded by Blind Lemon Jefferson in February of 1928 Paramount...many claim this to be Jefferson’s signature recording, as an excerpt from the song adorns his gravestone: "Lord, it's one kind favor I'll ask of you. See that my grave is kept clean."
The simplest of requests, may we all be so favored...

The only version I truly wanted to post is Dylan's version, originally recorded on Bob Dylan 1962, and then recorded once more on the Genuine Basement Tapes, once in his hands, it is a tune that rips your heart strings free and ruins your ears forever. Even better, on the Genuine Basement Tapes, as the music fades and you begin to question your sanity, the next track to follow? She'll be Comin' Round The Mountain!!!! Insane, that is all I have to say. Pure, insanity, which of course, is the best kind (;

When you leave, I mourn endlessly. My treasures have all been spent and my heart becomes a hollow swimming hole. With your silence I do perish a thousand times a day, the ticking of the clock a mean-eyed dog that marks its way. I never wished to long as such, so content was I to simply slumber. Yet you awakened me, this sleeping giant, who roams these hills alone...I escape these days to dreams and the supernatural, my prayer a simple one -- that it be your face I shall greet at every silvery corner, for reality I fear shall drive me mad as the dusk turns its feathered wings to dawn...

"I think if the devil doesn't exist, then man has created him. He has created him in his own image and likeness." "Just as man created God, then?" observed Alyosha. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

"I brush my hair, waiting in the pain machine for my bones to get hard, for the soft, soft bones that were laid apart and were screwed together. They will knit. And the other corpse, the fractured heart, I feed it piecemeal, little chalice. I'm good to it."

"Out of the cage came Eve, escaping, escaping. She was clothed in her skin like the sun and her ankles were not for sale."

Music:


I fear I was born deaf and mute, unaware of this startling condition. My soul a vessel of longing, as all souls are, fought fiercely, pleading with my mind to let go and be free, to sacrifice my self to the world of music and all its wonders.
Now, I am an addict, beats awash, lyrics pulsing, a junkie with no end in sight. Who knew this affliction could be so right, so true, so just? No longer is my world filled with silence, but rather startling cries, both old and new and all that filters in between. I long to lay within a field of spring sprung daisies, summer sun a brilliant golden halo, as the sounds of the world wash over me...and so, my journey has at long last begun...
I am captive to their beats....Bob Dylan. Dock Boggs. Blind Lemon Jefferson. Harry Smith's Anthology of American Folk Music. The Smiths. The Faint. Reeve Carney. Ryan Adams. Marilyn Manson. Goldfrapp. Imogean Heap. Sondre Billie Holiday. Ella Fitzgerald. Jeff Buckley. Jesus and Mary Chain. Mazzy Star. Joy Division. Madeline Peyroux. Sigur Ros. Tegan and Sara. The Band. Mamie Smith. Psapp. Nick Drake. Portishead. Cat Power. Joanna Newson...
give me a bango and moonshine stars hollowed out with shotgun sighs in the sky above...

Movies:


Secretary. Fire. D.E.B.S. Practical Magic. Waking Ned Devine. Chocolat. Shaun of the Dead. Fried Green Tomatoes. But I'm A Cheerleader. American Beauty. Maria Full of Grace. Count of Monte Cristo. The Fog (original please!). Brokeback Mountain. Amy and Jaguar. Nearly anything with subtitles, this truly pleases me, save kung-fu flicks, I just do not have the damn dexterity to read and absorb all that ass kickin'! We all have to strive for something....

Television:


The L Word. Curl Girls. Hell's Kitchen. So You Think You Can Dance. Top Chef. I am a dork. I watch dorky shows on the history channel and history international. A lot of dorky shows.

Books:

A home without books is a body without soul - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Flannery O'Connor. Nietzsche. Hemingway. Plath. Wilde. Freud. Regardie. Crowley. Dion Fortune. Blavatsky. Mathers. Runyon. I cannot live without these minds of genius. I treasure books more than I treasure any other material object and would live quite happily indeed locked away in a giant library with a roaring fireplace and thousands of books in piles all about me. This would be pure ecstasy.

Heroes:

Sinners, Saints, Addicts, Demons, Angels, False Idols, the ones that have been downtrodden and still walk their weary bones on home. The children who hunger for a better world and the rebels who still believe we can deliver this to them. Those who follow their heart, and their dreams, even if it means eating out of a tin can in a new city each week or dressing in rags for their purpose. My heroes are the ones that don't let life live them, nor do they live life with one eye closed, but the rare souls that life cannot contain. Those souls that stand up and scream with all their might and tap dance to insane tunes that only they can hear -- for life is not meant to be lived within bounderies -- rather, to truly live is to destroy all bounderies, man-made or otherwise. So live and be merry and most importantly, be free -- now go and fly....

My Blog

Mile Markers

The sun shone brightly in a sky of omnipresent azure blue. She could hear the birds chirping in lush tunes, their music filled with spring-time babies and newly christened feathered lovers. Yet she co...
Posted by Tanya...... on Sat, 10 May 2008 05:48:00 PST

In Silence

The wind did not howl that night. Perhaps it should have. Howled and screamed, bitter winds to pummel ineffectual fists upon the crisp glass windows that dotted the house upon its cluttered street of ...
Posted by Tanya...... on Thu, 08 May 2008 10:55:00 PST

My Love

These tears I cry of endless rivers, are shed for none but you. Soft prayers of pleading, never heard, are sung but for your ears alone. Heart that beats a thousand endless hours, awaits your sole ret...
Posted by Tanya...... on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 08:11:00 PST

I Once Knew A Boy...

I once knew a boy, his name was Jack Daniels. He lived in a room alone and forgotten. He met me that summer, his face cloaked in midnight. His pipe lay between us, its belly still swollen. I fed him b...
Posted by Tanya...... on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 12:01:00 PST

For You, My Father

For You, My Father   I gather crumbled bits of yarn in bloodless hands. Severed life that tethered me to you. Once. If I cut myself free from life, will I find you? Or has death come and gone, tw...
Posted by Tanya...... on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 08:31:00 PST

Windowpane

The seasons came too swiftly now. Winter was upon her, its bitter breath stripping her bones clean, leaving no softness for her to burrow furrowed brow within. She should leave. Venture forth to lands...
Posted by Tanya...... on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 03:38:00 PST

Sins Of Thy Mother

Sins Of Thy Mother   Birthed from grave filled womb of horror, my spirit came to life, chewing on softened bones before me. This flesh of child, weak and pure, had new life yet to conquer. The...
Posted by Tanya...... on Sat, 21 Jul 2007 11:18:00 PST

This is How I Sing the Blues

This is How I Sing the Blues   Upon the razor's edge I set and wait for dawn Blood drips in rivulets to soak the barren land below. With careful blade I slice my chest to remove this battered paw...
Posted by Tanya...... on Sat, 21 Jul 2007 09:06:00 PST

Please, God.....

In my dreams of night-time horrors, she sat beside me, pretending to be living. Her skeletal remains were pulsing beneath horrid skin of gray, as though she could fool a joker such as me. You can neve...
Posted by Tanya...... on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 08:25:00 PST

Dreamer's Wasteland

  Hollowed chest I wish to slice with knife of hand, and skry in pounding heartbeats, desperate in my searching. Penance I pay, on knees so bruised and swollen yet the heavens are deaf to my pl...
Posted by Tanya...... on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 06:07:00 PST