My Pain is Self Chosen profile picture

My Pain is Self Chosen

A place of great disorder...

About Me

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My name is Maria, I am 24 years old and I live in Des Moines, Wa,. Have a beutiful baby girl, her name is Alauna shes 4. She is my world and my soul. I love heavy music and have a good time with my friends, my baby girl loves to chill out too (when she's not being a hellian) she even headbangs(her favorite bands Pantera! Just like her momma) My friends know I'm crazy but they all love me anyway.
Name: Maria Reyes
Birthdate: 03/04/83
Birthplace: Seattle, Wa.
Current Location: Des Moines, Wa.
Eye Color: Blue, green, gray, and sometimes hazel... They like to change colors.
Hair Color: Dark brown
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 150lbs... Believe it.
Piercings: 11 and want atleast 5 more.
Tatoos: One, but want some.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Not at the moment, by choice.
Overused Phraze: What the fuck.
FAVORITES
Food: Thai (yummy)
Candy: Chocolate
Number: 8
Color: black
Animal: All
Drink: Strawberry lemonade
Alcohol Drink: Long beach, just like a Iced tea but cran instead of coke.
Bagel: Onion
Letter: S
Body Part on Opposite sex: All of it
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing: McDonalds
Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawberry
Hot tea or Ice tea: Both
Chocolate or Vanilla Chocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Both
Kiss or Hug: Both
Dog or Cat: Both
Rap or Punk: Ahhh... Alittle bit of both I guess, but I'm into other music more.
Summer or Winter: They both have their goodies.
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Both
Love or Money: Love, FUCK MONEY!
YOUR...
Bedtime: Whenever my body and mind want to.
Most Missed Memory: Don't really have good ones...
Best phyiscal feature: My eyes, although most people don't see them cause I'm blind.
First Thought Waking Up: Damn, k lets try again.
Goal for this year: To save up money for a better home for me and my daughter.
Best Friends: Tara Kelsey, my sister. It's hard but she's allways there, I love you.
Weakness: Having access to numbness.
Fears: Losing everyone I care for, especially my daughter.
Heritage: Yaqui and Aztek
Longest relationship: 2 1/2 years
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: Fuck yeah
Ever Smoked: Yep
Pot: Yup
Ever been Drunk: Too many times
Ever been beaten up: Well hell yes, unless you mean other then family. then no.
Ever beaten someone up: Yes
Ever Shoplifted: Yeah not proud of it though.
Ever Skinny Dipped: Nope, want to.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Sure have, Yummy...
Been Dumped Lately: No
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Blue or Green
Favorite Hair Color: Black
Short or Long: Long
Height: Atleast taller then me
Style: Athletic
Looks or Personality: Both, I guess doesn't have to be gorgeous, but I got to be attracted to the guy and he's got to have a good personality
Hot or Cute Um... depends how he holds himself like I said before If I'm attracted to him he'll be cute and hot to me
Drugs and Alcohol: I allways say if you have control, at moderation it's all good. Just got to know your limits.
Muscular or Really Skinny: Muscular, but not too much. I wanna be able to win some wrestling matches.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: Too many, just trying to make some wrongs, rights.
What country do you want to Visit: Jabiru, Kakadu (thats in Australia) Vienna, Austria actually theres lots of places I want to visit.
How do you want to Die: (Knowing my daughter and my family are happy.) Cliff diving off a mountain with the sun setting, seeing mother at her best.
Been to the Mall Lately: I have, so ashamed... Had to for my mom.
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love thunderstorms
Get along with your Parents: I do with my mom. Shes the only one around, my dad can fuck off and my step father is dead.
Health Freak: Not really
Do you think your Attractive: I guess I can be.
Believe in Yourself: Yup
Want to go to College: Maybe
Do you Smoke: Yes
Do you Drink: Yes
Shower Daily: Yes
Been in Love: Yes
Do you Sing: I love to sing
Want to get Married: NO
Do you want Children: Yes, I already have one but I want more.
Have your future kids names planned out: Not really but if I have a boy I want Mateo somewhere in his name.
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: Already did, um I did at age 17.
Hate anyone: Yup, sorry to admit but my daughters dad and his mother.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
You scored as Rocker, Mosher, Your A Rocker!

Rocker, Mosher


90%

Goth


90%

Skater


55%

Trendy


15%

Emo


10%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev


10%

Prepy


0%
What Group Are You? What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ect
created with QuizFarm.com center>
How evil are you?ismap="ismap" />

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Pisces
You have an awesome imagination, and often put it to use for sexual purposes. You are very romantic and don’t hook-up with random people very often. Because sex to you is about showing your love, you are incredibly romantic in bed, and very giving. You tend be in a serious relationship more often then not. Sex matches: Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
You Are Lightning
Beautiful yet dangerous
People will stop and watch you when you appear
Even though you're capable of random violence
You are best known for: your power
Your dominant state: performing What Type of Weather Are You?
Sun Sign: Pisces
Sun 13° Pisces 47' Pisces Horoscope
for today »
Moon Sign: Scorpio
Moon 25° Scorpio 19' Scorpio Horoscope
for today »
Rising Sign: Leo
Ascendant 4° Leo 20' Leo Horoscope
for today »
Get your own astro stats
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My Interests

Other then seeing my daughter smile and hear her laugh... Music, Hot Guys, and Hot Guys! I love woodworking... I love to play with wood ;P ... Art, I'm very artistic got lots of projects goin on all the time, and MUSIC!!!! Music is a big part of me I express how I feel thru it and I listen to most all different types of genre, just some alot more then others. N that's Rock and Metal baby! value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vwKzDmigFCw"> ..>

I'd like to meet:

Anybody, I'm not too picky just hate liars/fakers. Can't everyone just understand that almost all our problems/arguments come from lies or just not being honest from the BEGINING when it could have all been avoided or fixed way before it even became an issue. But some people just like making life that much more HARDER and ANNOYING.But, MOST of all! Anyone who has anything to do with music/band, cause I gotta tell ya I'm no groopy or nothin but I LOVE music! I think that without music in my life I'd go insane.

Music:

Slipknot, Pantera, A perfect Circle, Tool, Deftones, System of a down, Down, Lamb of god, Ill nino, Slayer, Puya, DamagePlan, Machine Head..... I also like other music like Portis head, Ani difranco,Depeche Mode, Sublime,Radiohead,Oingo Boingo and I will keep adding as I remember others. Local bands Dead Fall, Anger Chain, M.T.F., God machine, Midst of Autumn, Entity, Universal Measure, Two headed Chain, A Lesson In Chaos...

Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man - Funny Time of Year @ Paleo 2003
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AmKkz5-lyA

Movies:

Violent Scary; Snatch, Momento, Fight Club, Seven, 12 Monkeys, Requiem of a Dream, I heart Huckabees, The Shining, Saw 1, 2, 3, The Sixth Sense (ghosts creep me out)... I'll keep adding more... Funny, Love Jim Carrey, Ron White "well they call me tatter salad", Mitch hedburg (what a waist of talent, so sad)... Movies- Half baked, "You killed buttercup!". Ace ventura-Pet Dick, Juno...

Television:

Don't really watch it, but when I do... The Simpsons, Family Guy, Drawn Together...Thought of more and I can't believe I for got Ren and Stimpy a classic, and lets see others use to watch the looney toones but when they were all babys you know "Ducky go down the hole", and "Elevator go up, elevator go down, elevator stop".

Books:

Horror Novels. I don't really read anymore. But a few I did read was written by Carlos Casteneda; Don Juan's - A Yaqui way of Knowledge, wellit's a series kinda it's about nine books I think I read about to the third then lost interest, but the first one I couldn't put down I think I read it in two days. Authors that I like; John Saul, Dean Koontz, and I know theres others just can't remember at the moment.

Heroes:

My mother and my daughter they're my saviors, and just recently I've had an "angel" sent to me (my interpertation of an angel). I have a friend who has been helping me tremendously in the last year. Ive been fallin and he won't let me, and I have never met anyone to be so giving... thank you know who you are and I love you.

Miss you Dime Bag...

Watching you play is overwhelming I wish...

My Blog

What the hell are you???

So, I have have a co-worker at work right. It looks like a man but speaks like a woman, Also from hear say another co-worker who worked at a previous job with this he/she, stated that one day she was ...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:34:00 PST

Self mutilation

I 've done so much shit to myself, and I still somtimes wonder how I'm still alive. Sometimes I think some sort of higher power wants me to stay alive just so it can watch me suffe...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Mon, 28 Jan 2008 11:45:00 PST

Leaving making a new beginning

So I'm off tonight is my last night, I'm sad, scared, and very depressed. I hope only good comes out of this cause my past decisions haven't been good to say the least.  I love you all I hope you...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Sat, 24 Nov 2007 09:57:00 PST

Self destruction

  Can't reolve my problems, I'm getting lost. Self destructing programing, inevitable self inflicting choas. A sickness I can't break. World deprevation, screaming for a way out. Self salvation =...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:04:00 PST

Some thoughts going through my head...

  I can feel it coming, it won't let up Pulling my hair, twirling in circles I fall to the floor, wishing my eyes would open no more Just go away, I don't need you I hear it laughing at me, knowi...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 12:35:00 PST

Pain, sadness, suffering, and unfairness isn't that what lifes all about?

I sit here tears falling from my eyes my chest growing heavy wondering why lifes got to be so hard. Wondering if it's ever going to let up knowing it won't. I know I've made mistakes I know theres thi...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 07:07:00 PST

Down in a Hole losing my Soul

Observer. trying to figure a way out. Anchored down trying to pull myself out of the quick sand.  People all above me just stareing or walking by. All alone is when I fall, I break. Wanted to let...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 12:41:00 PST

Life...Why does it have to be so hard?

I've had a pretty bad life,as others too I'm sure others probably have had it worse.  What I don't understand is why it has to be so hard.  It seems no matter how hard I try to get out of th...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:32:00 PST

Going to Arizona

Going to Arizona Be.....aches so I'll see ya when I get back.. Thats the 8th if you're wondering.......Later.
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Sun, 30 Apr 2006 10:52:00 PST

midst of autumn rocks

About two weeks ago i went to my friends show (burning horse) in everett, Midst of autumn also played they fuckin kicked ass.  The fucken drummer was rockin on those drums.  He's yummy too.&...
Posted by My Pain is Self Chosen on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 07:44:00 PST