Many know me as one of the beloved Presidents of the United States of America. No one knew the real me. I was born Martin Van Fagninson, my name was changed because my agent didn't think it was marketable. I was in the womb for a mere 6 months, my friends often taunted me with the clever nickname...6 months. Before I became President I was accomplished in many things as a child and young man, such as kickball, drawing circles, stirring soup and politics. To earn money to help feed my family I entered myself into various Tap Dance competitions and Yiddish Pie Eating contests. I never had a great relationship with my father. My mother told me that I was doomed, and that I reminded her exactly of my father. So I hit her, and left her for another woman. I married that woman, became President and died. That was my story until this unique group of talented young men and women decided to live out my life story, through comedy, and group orgies. I am...Martin Van Buren.
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