Donkey Punch profile picture

Donkey Punch

I am here for Friends

About Me

i've had a couple of jo-jobs. nothing i would call a career. let me put it this way, i have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets.

My Interests

buy our old album... new one, "someone to ride the river with," COMING SOON!!new jersey, good dingleberries, bloody axe wounds, NPR shows like 'this american life' and 'a prarie home companion' and 'media lab' on pussyrua--wnyc, caddyshack, wailing like pat benetar and nancy wilson and robert plant, making out with animals, chico stick rodeos, NOVA, getting real bone dogs, ponies, new jersey, sparkles and sunshine, fucking some fly-ass bitches up on the roller rink.

Movies:

"there are plenty of mohicans." don't shoot till you see the whites. of their eyes? who's eyes?

Books:

hairy pooter. geek love. confederacy of dunces. hunter s. thompson. the amazing adeventures of kavalier and clay. tom wolfe. gore vidal. the autobiography of malcom x. steinbeck. stephen hawking. alexandra fuller. daniel clowes. national geographic. tom robbins. all quiet on the western front. the do's and don't's in vice magazine. the curious incident of the dog in the night time. orson wells. most gossip magazines. tenessee williams. bukowski. catcher in the rye. the orchid thief. vonnegut. sideways stories from wayside school. lamb: the gospel according to biff--jesus's childhood pal. catch-22. grey's anatomy. ken kesey. ernest hemingway. my diary.

Heroes:

dolly parton and biggie shortie. by far. if i could be some kind of ali-style biggie-dolly combo, i would be complete.

My Blog

my dating on demand video IS UP! NOW! BOOYAH!

seriously. i watched it last night. basically i'm incredible. no big deal. so... the screen name i picked was PackersFan69, but of course they wouldn't let that fly. currently i reign as "PackersFan99...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Sat, 29 Sep 2007 04:44:00 PST

midwestern independence celebrations and chest injuries.

i went to visit my mom's ten brothers and sisters and their prospective millions of children (which would mean my cousins) for a most wholesome and genuinely wonderful forth of july celebration--milwa...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 12:37:00 PST

roller derby chronicles and beer tears.

on sunday the philly roller girls played their first game of the first season, and the philthy britches played (and totally murtalized the hostile city honeys bee the weee...) WITHOUT YOURS TRULY. you...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 09:41:00 PST

trail BLAZING in the great swamp of new jersey.

it's nice how just being with your friends can make things better. i had a really nice day with claire and janet in the middle of some really hard ones. we were missing our dear friend christie on thi...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Sun, 26 Mar 2006 01:37:00 PST

don't cry for me philadelphia...

like when luke perry left 90210... i must too leave 19130. don't be sad, this is a good thing! i'm packin up, hitting the trail, and moving out to LA with the band to be a supa-stah. ...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 08:25:00 PST

nicorette totally blows

so this is my 17th attempt at quitting smoking and i'm the fucking worst at it. why is it that i can find the lamest excuse to have one? goddamn sin sticks. i know i look incredibly cool smoking and i...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

HAIR-brained idea.

so katie bleached my hair, no big deal. it's more of a corn-yellow. you know, barbie style and all. we're practically twins now. i was going to have another go at the bleach, but i decided it would be...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

donkey punchin' my way to the top!

i can't believe that i've been loafing around on this earth for twenty four gotdamn years and i have only just recently discovered the magical and romantical world of roller derby! like out of a dream...
Posted by Donkey Punch on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST