TennayaLayouts
TennayaLayouts
Singin', Sinnin', Lovin', Winnin' and Losin'.I like Jokes! Black jokes, Jew Jokes, Blonde Jokes, God Jokes....Boy do I love God Jokes!I'm an amateur photog, with a penchant for pre- 20th century pornography. Love looking at some chunky A through that old school 3-D view finder.I'm crazy about maps and directions and how one get's from point A to Point B.My interests also include seducing you with my renditions of Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" and Backstreets "I Want it That Way". Velvet Tom Part Two
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...People who want to hire me!But really VT (Velvet Tom, for those of you not into the initial thang) is a taken man for the moment...that doesn't mean I can't do a little harmless flirting, after all I'm just a man...VT is really into: Red Heads, Indian chicks (not of the Native American variety, the other kind..The Packy, The Parsi...you know), Jewesses, Red Headed Jewesses, Raven Haired Darlings, MILF's and GILF's (that's right, Velvet digs the Grannies...You might say "eeeeeeew". I say "weeeeeee").But if you just wanna be friends, so do I. I welcome all sorts of folks with Techno-smarts. My friendship is a haven for the geek, you are more than welcome nerdo!If you just think I'm cool, we'll I think you're pretty swell too!!Here's to you and all you stand for!Seriously though, as off-putting and morally repugnant I may be to you, I have one hell of an act that demands being seen by the world. Please contact me through this page if you are interested in me Velvet Tom and my Velveetahs entertaining at your next event! You're oh so lovely!
I love music! After all it's my bag, Cats and Kittens!Music makes me much more tolerable and less repelent to my public! I don't think there is a style of music or musician that I couldn't tip my hat to and thank god for them...yes, even the shitty ones. If anything, that's just miles of comedy waiting to be mined.Of course I'm a fan of such classic musicians such as:John Cash (I can call him John, I knew him), Bobby Zimmerman (You know him as Bob Dylan, but when you're invited to his Bar Mitvah, and he get's you high, you reserve the right to call him by his God given name), U2 (Even though Bono stole my whole, world peace and the decrease of world debt rap after my fall from grace with the public back in the '90s. It was totally my idea, but how can I prove it?...that McFucker.)Plus many, many more!
I'm a huge fan of movies!I coulda' been a huge movie star and a Trans-Continental Phenomenon if I'd only taken the role of the gay bank robber in "A Dog Day Afternoon".Although I cannot commit to certain titles of movies, I'm a big fan of the comedy genre...laughter is a cure-all for everything accept for Cancer and AIDS, but a broken heart?...that's another story. Unless your broken heart was caused by Cancer or AIDS then nothings funny, and you're screwed.I dig a good romance once in a while. Even VT has a soft and sensative side that isn't guided by the overwhelming aching in his pants.Horror films can go screw themselves, because never once in a horror movie does the bad guy end up killing the entire cast and rendering him victorious...where's the reality people!?
My Tivo rules my life!Most programing for me takes place on either NBC, ComedyCentral or HBO.I've lost interest with reality television, even though I am in my own talks with VH1 to become an extra added feature of their Celebreality Programing, where 24 gorgeous women from across the US are picked to live in a house with me, and each week 2 of them get to reject me for their own personal detailed reasons.I love do-it-yourself shows like MythBusters, and I love dog shows....I have dogs, but they are so addictive, and Men....If you wanna control your boner, watch a dog show...there isn't a pretty woman in site.
I love Celebrity Biographies.And I'm publishing mine...just as soon as I have something to write about. Velvet Tom part One
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My hero is, well, me. Duh.I should be your hero as well.Some other folks I look up to are those men and women that get up every day and create art. Art that serves the public. Not the artists that are tormented and provocative for arts sake. I don't tolerate the angry person who selfishly exploits his/her craft because Daddy touched them wrong or Mommy didn't touch them wrong enough, or they came from the streets and they have somethin' to say. I pity them and I hope they get help, but they gum up the works, and give a bad name to those hardworking folks who just want to give back. Instead the bad seeds fuel a conservative agenda to keep Johnny from buying the Kanye West album in the event he might hear the word "fuck" in context.Oh, and I like Superman too.