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maxine macabre

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


Nothing gives me greater pleasure than killing two birds (or 3 or 4...) with one stone---kinda makes up for some of those catch-22's or all the times I paint myself into corners. Plaid, I like plaid. I'd like to somehow become a triple threat. I'm on this french trip at the moment-french everything....French boudoir design, french films, french vintage advertising---esp. deco luggage tags and cosmetic ads, etc. (Past life as resident of French hotel in the 20's???) Lately my concept of "fun" has been reduced to buying plants at the gia-normous 24 hour Longs by my new house. i love shopping sprees at Walgreens. Once in awhile I just like to hang up on somebody or slam a door or two real hard. I love affection. I forget to breathe and to blink a lot. I sometimes get moved to tears by the seemingly silliest things like what appears to be glitter in city sidewalk sparkling in the sunshine. I don't trust people who don't have a depression problem. I think sensuality is way more interesting then sexuality. I love the art of conversation. Right now I'm into working on projects and fixing things that are broken-unsticking things that were/are stuck. I love men's striped,long tube socks. I'm definitely stuck in the 70's in some ways. I might be getting ready to regret my tattoos, or atleast question whether I like tattoos at all in a general sense. (reactionary?) I don't like surprises. (No, that's not true. I like pleasant surprises.) I dig vulnerability. I'm a textbook social phobic. (I pride myself on my unique ability to infect an entire bus with my nervous energy in five minutes.)I despise any and all forms of injustice. (Note to self:I think I should read some philosophy.) I feel like everything I've learned about life i've taught myself. I have single-handedly elevated self-deprecation to an art form. I'm an aspiring (key word) photographer/t-shirt-tote bag designer/mixed media/mail "artist" (pun intended.) I'm a word/pill junkie. I'm a curious George. I love to make sweeping, unapologetic generalizations about men. I like it when people give me winks,dead-pan stares, and come-hither glances. I like it when I see women strolling arm in arm and elderly asian men squatting or walking with their hands clapsed behind their backs. I like to watch people read (they look so peaceful...like when they sleep). I live in the past and the future. I hate superficial people, but I'm terrified of true intimacy. I'm too judgmental/critical=not good qualities. I cry easily, but it makes me feel alive. I try to see beauty in ugliness and everyday life. I have a dark sense of humor. I've never once in my entire life considered becoming a vegetarian. When I grow up, I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I feel most content with the universe in thrift stores and am hopelessly nostalgic. My favorite time of day is dawn, but I never see it. Dusk is nice too. I feel hope when the weather outside is sunny. I'd like to make a discipline out of meditation. I don't like to be cold-ever! I think WAY too much. I have an aquarium with five mean african cichlids in it. I write a lot of lists. I want a white Boxer or a Boston Terrier or a Pug or a Siberian Husky or a Samoyd or a Pomeranian (lately), and a 100 gallon aquarium. I'd like to live in a yellow house and have lots of lemon trees in my yard. Life is too short to encompass all of the books that I'd like to read. I have a soft spot for the elderly (they break my heart just about every day), developmentally disabled, children, and men-when they cry (ie., when they show their humanity). I hope one day to receive a love letter in my mailbox. I have a weakness for men with curly eyelashes and a half-mast eye expression to go with them. I admire people who are fearless and blatantly honest and wild-but not in a sexual context per say. Guilty as charged...I romantacize the hell out of the idea of the revolutionary. To be perfectly honest, most people annoy the hell out of me, but the ones that don't I adore, respect, love, and admire profusely-to no end. I don't like women who are COLD or who try to emotionally manipulate-esp. with guilt trips. I desperately wish that all women had more self-esteem. I'm a huge fan of tact and tone and RESPECT/common courtesy/decency. I HATE rude, arrogant and cheap people.I cringe when I hear people refer to women as "females" and when I hear the word, "hella" in almost every context. I'm motivated by passion and anger. I am a total homebody. I like to sit among the counter people and read the paper at old coffee shops. I wish I was a mechanic, or something cool and gender transgressive like that. I don't like it when people bump me and don't say, "excuse me." My other biggest pet peeves are when people put their kids on leashes, the whole burning man thing, when people don't open their blinds and windows to let air and light in, when people get off on yelling, "Back door!" on the bus,when men don't bother to study/research female sexuality, stains,redundant first and last names ie. Newest pet peeve: when people drive convertibles and DON'T put the top down on very sunsplashed days! Donald Donaldson or when parents name their twins similar names,when people who refer to themselves as "painters" walk around with Jackson Pollack clothes ..-splattered) esp. at museums, when people answer a question with a question or ask too many (ie., "stupid") questions, when people lie about their age, flourescent lights,back-handed compliments, when people wear shorts and sandals in the fucking winter, when people use the word "retarded/retard" to refer to anything/anyone or throw the word "ghetto" around in a casual, unapologetic and derogatory way,bad breath of course, and when people don't spray (if its available) upon taking a fat dump. I also get creeped out when men wear pink or don "the ponytail" of any size, when men say dude every other word, when men watch sports. I need a record player BAD! I care about my health...and wish I took better care of it. I don't know why such bad things happen to good people or why the poor are so much more generous than the rich could ever hope to be-even on a good day. I want to go to places like Cuba and Japan and the Greek Islands and take the Zehyr train route in the US. I like motels for some reason, and find great solace when I find that the bible is there-just as it should be. I'm not sure how I feel about clowns or porn. I am drawn to religious paraphernalia (I collect bibles and crosses), but am agnostic.
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My Interests

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Wxpc3Qub3JnL2Rvd25sb2FkLzE0NDYzMDMx" ***daily THRIFT-SHOPPING bordering on an obsessive-compulsive level, **PHOTOGRAPHY=anti-fashion/fashion/contrived/staged/ironic/d idactic/conceptual/generic/deceptively simple kind/beautiful accidents/hauntingly beautiful women/childhood photos/photos of people I don't know---like the ones that come in new but never used frames from the 70's that you find only in thrift stores/photo booths,***READING,*** altering/designing/collecting T-SHIRTS!,collecting books, collecting umbrellas, ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFETS,fans and parasols,*chandeliers and candleabras,FUR COATS, FLOWERS TUCKED BEHIND MY EAR, REVOLUTIONARY COSTUMES/being "in character",GHOST TOWNS, YELLOW ROSES, DAISIES,honoring the dead, bougainvillea, BEING PALE, THE FUCKING CIRCUS!, glamour glamour glamour, aquanet, pay phones,yellow roses...,radical change,justified revenge,SMELLING PEOPLE, (well, not just anyone.) CIGAR BOXES, taxi cab rides, SPIRAL STAIRCASES, THE BALCONY at the movies or the symphony or the theatre or church or anywhere dammitt!!!, ice cream trucks,OLD SAN FRANCISCO, tracing trajectories, social experiments, Cemeteries and graveyards (CHAPEL OF THE CHIMES)carnivorous plants,fencing,skeleton keys,archery,trying to see myself as other people see me, NICKNAMES! studying the psychological index of my mood swings, CAMEO APPEARANCES whistling, talking to myself, POSTCARDS, discovering new depths to what I think is funny, dismantling the patriarchy, dissecting mind games,pyrotechnics, learning all that i didn't in school,inverting/throwing back the gaze, collecting blue and green glass objects,****NAKED WARM SKIN against mine,going on BIKE RIDES AT NIGHT...,dramatic entrances & exits,PENPALS,bad pick-up lines,chapstick,vics vapo rub,stretching, having moments with strangers, telling strangers my life story, SILK SCARVES, BLOUSEScrying and laughing at the same time,learning how to cry with out wiping my tears,**eavesdropping,flasks, headbands, solitude, spying, BAKING stuff,**DRESSING UP ,discovering what makes people tick,FLIRTING,albinoism,greek tragedies,*BBQ'S, public service announcements and billboards,artwork of children/ mentally ill/developmentally disabled,nighttime jasmine,taffy,smell of old books (esp. paperbacks),luggage!, LOVE LETTERS,"slang" and eloquence equally,slow motion on film (and slooooow love...),***BODY LANGUAGE/facial expressions/eye contact,*office supplies (paper clips are quite handy),stationary,hooded sweatshirts,gloves,purses,dresses,kimonos, some men in suits,men in white t-shirts,going 2 lectures/book readings,fanatical exercise phases about once every 3-6 months,pulling my hair,biting my fingernails,french manicures,people-watching /staring,~public libraries~, synchronicity/meaningful coincidences/metaphors/hyperboles/oxymorons/symbolism/DOUBLE ENTENDRES, INTENDED PUNS, IDIOMS!!! *research-generally speaking, animal mating behavior,plants, nag champa incense,candles everywhere,PICNICS (with wine and cheese and books and transistor radio and words), hammocks, *FEMI-NAZIISM, birds and trees, stencil graffiti, being a tourist (especially in your own city),classic/muscle/sports/cars,basketball,boxing, *pee-wee/minature golf,CAMPING,shooting galleries,car/horse racing, fishing, learning how to 1) cook 2) speak Spanish fluently, and 3) play an instrument (the UKULELE.The tambourine) 4) sew,all warm things (especially HOT TUBS and hot chocolate w/ milk) 5) type, globes/maps,*quotes,*proverbs, taking a walk/stroll, sitting on park benches in a catatonic trance, drive-in movies, roller/iceskating,dancing with myself,whiskey (*Crown Royal...the bag...say no more.),rollercoasters,freckles are cool, ***IRONY***,silence,death,poetic justice,imperfect perfection,simplicity,complexity,civil disobedience,WHISPERING,sewing,*the rain,crossword puzzles,dominoes,board (bored) games (backgammon, anyone? SCRABBLE!!!),bingo halls w/ the elderly...and infinitely more more more...!

I'd like to meet:

Tom Waits. John Cage. Dracula. Nancy Drew. Amelia Earhart. Harry Dean Stanton. Your grandma and grandpa. Trashy women with stories to tell. The insouciant people. Gentlemen and not, sweet-talkin' low-lifes. People who think the sun shines outta my ass, anyone who makes me FEEL ALIVE or to teach me how to LIVE, Me without a headache...and my shadow. PARTNERS IN CRIME (be it crafts, road trips, or torrid love affairs...), men who swagger. people with an ounce or abundance of passion about anything or anyone,elegant, elderly ladies who wear turbans and/or too much leopard print, men that look like jesus. blue collar men in theory. (esp. when they work with a cigarette dangling from their lips.) people who wear hats and people who "wear many hats" so to speak. people with formidable wits and a quiet intensity about them, a mechanic, someone to teach me how to use tools, a massage therapist w/ an excess amount of mercy. People who want to stroke my hair. Oh, and...People who prefer to eat cereal at night, people who make a habit out of wordplay (you know who you are.), people who like static on a TV screen with the volume off, people who like dial phones, transistor radios, typewriters and record players, people who don't always see technology as progressive, people who think work is a serious waste of time here on earth, people who don't like bars or clubs that much, people who like to be alone,people who identify as humans and not gender-specific traits, people who have no sexual or otherwise agenda whatsoever,people who are not selfish or manipulative,people who give freely, people who don't brag all the freakin time, people who are kind, gentle souls,people who study other people/are genuinely curious about other people and curious by nature, people who can laugh at themselves,people who read anything other than just fiction, people that don't immediately think of $$$ when they think of the concept of being rich, women who aren't threatened by other women, men who actually see woman as the complex human beings that they are,people who actually care what I have to say,people who don't have a problem showing affection,people who make me think and laugh,people who like to travel,people who aren't uncomfortable with pregnant pauses in conversation, people who like to sleep as much as I do, people who like to handwrite letters and send postcards to people. men with tattooed forearms.

Music:

Prince,Herbie Hancock,Gil Scott-Heron,Digable Planets,Public Enemy,Ben Harper,Midnite,Amy Winehouse,Dinah Washington,Coco Rosie,Bat For Lashes, Roy Orbision, A Tribe Called Quest,Van Halen,Bill Withers, Jimi Hendrix,Mary J. Blige,Fiona Apple, the Roots,Phoebe Snow,Radiohead, Portishead,Miles Davis,Shuggie Otis, The Style Council, The White Stripes, Serge Gainsbourg, Yo La Tengo,The Flaming Lips,The Specials,the Brian Jonestown Massacre, ***The Magnetic Fields,Camera Obscura,Bread,Supertramp,3 Dog Night, America,Sonic Youth, Dusty Springfield,Lee Hazelwood, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers,Belle and Sebastian, the Shins, Tom Waits,Martin Denny,chanteuses of the 20's and 30's (Annette Hanshaw, Ruth Etting),Astrud Gilberto, Run DMC,Patsy Cline, Fats Waller,Billie Holiday,some 80's pop shit,The Doors,Puccini, Chet Baker, Gregorian Chants,Stereolab, the Cocteau Twins,Johnny Cash,John Cage,Roberta Flack,Cody Chestnutt,Beck,Art of Noise,Edith Piaf,the Carpenters,Cat Stevens,the Eagles, the Steve Miller Band (yes, its true. shhhh),Gordon Lightfoot (yep),D'Angelo,James Brown,Craig Mack, Donny Hathaway,the Smith's/Morrissey,the Cure,Mos Def, Bjork,Dead Prez,love songs of the 70's,sounds like music boxes, breaking glass,bowling pins,typewriters,church bells,dial phone rings, fog horns, ticking clocks, womens heels clicking on the pavement outside my window at night...and no,I don't know any "obscure" bands that I wil try to impress you with my knowledge of...don't mess with the classics.

Movies:

****WINGS OF DESIRE,***Harold and Maude,***Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf?***Grey Gardens,***Shortbus,***The Devil and Daniel Johnston,***BETTY BLUE, The Holy Mountain, Dancer in the Dark,The Goodbye Girl,Blow Up,Holy Smoke,Tarnation,After Hours,Winged Migration,Garden State, Raising Victor Vargas,Killer of Sheep, Half Nelson,Airplane,The Last Seduction,Death To Smoochy, Sideways,Natural Born Killers,What About Bob?,the Lover,My Dinner with Andre,I'll Cry Tomorrow,Serpico,Atlantic City, Pretty Baby,Baraka,Mindwalk,Slam,Ghost Dog,Pecker,Henry and June,Summer Lovers, And God Created Woman,Blue Velvet,Romeo is Bleeding, 8 1/2, Monster, the Station Agent,Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,Repulsion,Betty Blue, Drugstore Cowboy, Being There, Happiness, Storytelling, Scarface,River's Edge,Sex and Lucia,2001,Paris Texas,One Hour Photo,3-D movies,Training Day, Magnolia, Barfly, Taxi Driver, Midnight Cowboy, When We Were Kings,Last Tango in Paris, King of Hearts, the Red Balloon, 9 1/2 Weeks,Sunset Blvd,Belly, Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!, Frances, Mahogany, Tattoo, My Own Private Idaho,Cool Hand Luke,Bottle Rocket, One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, The Postman Always Rings Twice, Bonnie and Clyde,Woman Under the Influence, Play Misty For Me...

Television:

The Colbert Report, America's Next Top Model, The Wire, Carnivale, Entourage, The L Word, Absolutely Fabulous,Six Feet Under, Reno 911 The Adams Family, Rock of Love 2, Martin,Laverne and Shirley, the Jefferson's, the Smurfs, What NOT to Wear,American Gangster, Strangers With Candy,The Odd Couple,Fantasy Island, The Mary Tyler Moore Show,Boondocks,Golden Girls,Sanford and Son, Twin Peaks,Good Times,Family Guy, Girlfriends, E! Channel-just all of it...& kiss my lily-white ass (in the middle) to all those holier-than-thou-I-am-so-super-intellectual-superior to all ya'll cauz I don't own a TV or watch TV (fucking liars)....blah...blah...blah. You bore me....and I bore you 'cause I'm stuck in the realm of the boob tube, and there is no escape. My brain has turned to mush, and the american family disintegrated long ago. (although I still have hope that the board game will make a comeback.) So, we are even, right?

Books:

Hesse.Camus.Sarte.The Myth of Monogamy, Boxcar Bertha, A Natural History of the Senses, Emotions Revealed,The Ethical Slut,Soledad Brother,Prozac Nation,Memoirs of A Beatnik, Stiff, the Beauty Myth, Fresh Lipstick,Cunt, Bitch, Honkey,Nigger,any Anais Nin or David Sedaris or Andrea Dworkin, Catch-22,Lolita,The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter, Madame Bovary, The Story of O, The Female Enunch, The Lonely Doll,The Feminine Mystique, Valley of the Dolls, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The American Way of Death,Female Chauvinist Pigs,the Book of the Samurai, This Bridge Called my Back,the Color of Water,the Artist's Way,Venus in Furs, The Story of the Eye,On Photography, The Art of Loving, Shutterbabe,Notes to Myself, Ways of Seeing, the Pill Book, the Quintessential Dictionary, Thirty Days To A More Powerful Vocabulary,The Dictionary of Proverbs, Fear of Flying, Codependent No Mo' (just kidding) Women Who Love Too Much (just kidding again, actually.),How to Manipulate People And Get Them To Do What You Want (nooooooooooooo)...(***anything about femi-nazi-ism or racism or sex/erotica generally.)

Heroes:

SHIRLEY CHISHOLM. Nancy Drew. And...underdogs and unsung heroes---generally,all women to some extent,Little Edie Bouvier Beale, my certifiably insane friend Ursula,***my grandmas, women who give birth, SHAMELESS SLUTS, TRAMPS,sorted MINXES, JEZABELS, HARLOTS, CONCUBINES, PARAMOURS,COUGARS,*SUCCUBI,women who triumph despite seemingly unbeatable odds (like a prostitute that becomes a lawyer), wives/girlfriends of "great" men who were discredited or bamboozled for their contribution to that man's "greatness", people who died before the world was ready to let them go---who maybe were too good for this world or too ahead of their time to survive...also busdrivers/taxi drivers,pilots,surgeons,the elderly, the guys with the ice-cream carts in the Mission, the Guerilla Girls,Valerie Solanis,Jessica Mitford,the Willmar 8,Erica Jong,Germaine Greer,Betty Friedan,Lucille Ball,Richard Pryor (R.I.P), PETER SELLERS,The Black Panthers,RoyDeCarava,*Ed Ruscha, Bruce Lee, Jane Goodall, Andrea Dworkin,Red Foxx, Jimmie Walker, jack (kevorkian), Evil Knievel,Kate Millet,Romare Bearden,Alice Waters, Janet Jee, Guy Bourdin,Sophie Calle,Mary Magdalene,Artemisia,Ophelia, Houdini,Antigone,Wonder Woman, Catwoman,Einstein, Gandhi,*HELMUT NEWTON, William Eggleston, Joan of Arc, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Muhammed Ali, Anne Sexton, Mae West, Crispin Glover,Cindy Sherman, Diane Arbus,Angela Davis, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe,River Phoenix...and people who don't give up on me-who believe in me still.

My Blog

mimicry of an oxymoron.

I used to live in a 1st floor apartment on the corner of a four lane street, heavy with pedestrian sashay on the weekends,whereby I extracted fragments of thoughts from people, as they strode past to ...
Posted by maxine macabre on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:32:00 PST

cotton candy

I AM GOING TO THE CARNIVAL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Posted by maxine macabre on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:01:00 PST

The assembly line of my unread books, stacked horizontally and vertically.

When I was 21, I was dating a man who was killed in a motorcycle accident at the intersection of 17th and Market streets. He was 21 too, and was planning to attend UCSC to study creative writing the f...
Posted by maxine macabre on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 11:18:00 PST

the wigwam.

Wayback Machine 1934: Boxcar Livingby Lloyd Alter, Toronto on 01. 6.08DESIGN & ARCHITECTURE (prefab) Past is prologue as boxcars are converted into housing during that last unfortunate event w...
Posted by maxine macabre on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 11:20:00 PST

To Lyle, a stranger I met only once.

I thought I lost my phone, but had only jumped the gun. Jumped to many a conclusion, frankly. What can I say, I’m easily startled. It was only a false alarm, but I reacted to this relatively min...
Posted by maxine macabre on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:03:00 PST

i never promised you a rose garden.

Ludwing Von Beethoven (1770-1827)Beethoven’s piano sonatas, "Pathetique" and "Appassionata", were the first written when he realized in horror that he was going deaf, the second when he resolved...
Posted by maxine macabre on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 10:49:00 PST

the fountain of your laughter.

well, I wonder.I was sitting in front of the MLK fountain at Yerba Buena Gardens the other day, when I was wondering whether some sort of code of ethics or morality guiding the homeless along may be p...
Posted by maxine macabre on Sat, 08 Mar 2008 03:57:00 PST

around the corner.

Yesterday, I was whimsically walking and laughing down Powell St. I had waltzed my way through the St. Francis Hotel, where I was clowning rich people and sharing how offended and astonished I was wit...
Posted by maxine macabre on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:22:00 PST

small talk.

Conceivably, the view from atop a high horse may be staggering. It elevates an individual to a heightened, yet false, sense of superiority. But only fleetingly. Exhibit A: As a precocious adolescent I...
Posted by maxine macabre on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:46:00 PST

the sunny side of the street.

Today, I saw the blind leading the blind. Literally. In the sunshine. I think maybe one of the two blind people I saw-a man and a woman, was perhaps, more blind than the other. (Naturally, the leader....
Posted by maxine macabre on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:34:00 PST