ulviye m profile picture

ulviye m

i am the luckiest girl in the world

About Me

i have a destination, but i'm never sure where i am going. i run and run and run. then i get tired and rest. but soon it's always time to start fucking running. i like to take showers. i used to take baths and listen to sad music, but soon realized that leads to suicide. so i sometimes take baths, no sad music. i have 2 dogs. they make me happy/want to kill someone (but not them). they like to take up the bed and interfere during sex. i can't blame them, it must look like fun. i sit on my porch and smoke cigarettes. i read too much. i talk about shit. literal shit (poop). i have no shame. i think it bothers people. i'm not sure. i try to be observant, but i blind myself to people. yes you. i'm hard on myself and hold other people to the same ridiculous standard. i make arguments i don't even agree with. sometimes i forget what year it is. one time i was unsure of who i was. (literally). i know now though. i'm ulviye right?table table table{

My Interests

piano piano piano. guitar guitar guitar. piano. guitar. playing piano. playing guitar. writing music. (on the piano and guitar) foreign cities. animals (of all varieties). making plans. sometimes following plans. 25 grams of fiber. kissing. sticking people with needles and flushing IVs. chicago. how i love chicago.

I'd like to meet:

people who are honest with themselves, honest with me, and honest with everyone around them. ha, i know that doesn't exist. i don't want to meet anyone. except maybe myself in a dream...yeah, that might be interesting.
You Are 78% Evil
You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot. How Evil Are You?
Make your own Banner here!

Music:

“Music, even in situations of the greatest horror, should never be painful to the ear but should flatter and charm it, and thereby always remain music.” -mozartalthough lately i've been listening to a lot of bruckner. i can't get away from classical lately. it makes me excited and calm at the same time.

Movies:

lately anything that has any beauty to it

Television:

it tells me stories

Books:

i read everything in order to know everything. so i can always win. (right now kierkegaard, that will change soon)

Heroes:

i think we all know who this is. BK#: 07008319 pretty jail bird

My Blog

no sleep for me

so..this is what i do at work after no sleep... stare at the clock, hoping that it's wrong. stare at the computer until my eyes become unfocused and then try to focus them again. stare at the mogwai ...
Posted by ulviye m on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 10:41:00 PST

another sleepless night

it's far too late for me to be awake. i fell asleep but now i'm wide awake like it's time for work. Or if not work something extremely productive. but this isn't good. i need to sleep. i'm sick w...
Posted by ulviye m on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 01:27:00 PST

it's raining, but not on the inside this time

i'm in a very happy/productive mood. i'm all alone, but it's not bothering me. i've gotten to the point again where i'm enjoying my solitude. aside from my stomach ache and my dogs running around l...
Posted by ulviye m on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:18:00 PST

i'm wide awake...and i guess technically it's morning

i have weird excitment in me and i just ashed on myself like a retard. it's cold as balls outside, but having a laptop is the coolest thing ever. i have nothing to say except that i feel happy. and...
Posted by ulviye m on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:18:00 PST

this is what happens...

It's preoccupying when I can take a step back and see how this whole thing escalates.  I'm so scared of feeling negative that I ignore it.  The more I ignore it, the more negative the feelin...
Posted by ulviye m on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 11:27:00 PST

the fight no one can hear

The last time I checked you were still in my mind Can you leave this time?  Will you leave me this time? I've had enough. Enough Enough   I'm all alone in this constraint.  I can scream...
Posted by ulviye m on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 01:43:00 PST

the feeling of crazy

at first...it's tremendous...ideas are fast...like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear. all shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there...uninteresting people,...
Posted by ulviye m on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:24:00 PST

not anyone's fault.

"Well fine, dont you do what I want you to. Dont degrade yourself the way that I do cause you dont depend on all the shit that I use to make my moods improve." so i tell myself..."Dont you do what you...
Posted by ulviye m on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 09:50:00 PST

triggers

 "I sat watching a floweras it was witheringI was embarrased by it's honestyso I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling facenot this fucking wreck that's taken it's place"...
Posted by ulviye m on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 01:16:00 PST

first happy blog

so...my mood has improved greatly.  i started a new job where i get to work with my best friend all day.  i'm getting accepted to nursing school so soon i'll be sticking people with sharp th...
Posted by ulviye m on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 09:34:00 PST