I get excited when I see Mullets in the wild. They fill me with a sense of wonder and fascination.
Also, I'm a dirty, filthy pervert. My computer constantly pulls porn off the internet, and it's automated, so as you read this, digital images of people doing skanky things with their genitals stream onto my hard drives. I will sort, weed, and prune them later, but for now, be content in the knowledge they're simply there.
I'm a radical feminist and a pinko liberal.
I spend excessive amounts of money on exquisite food and wine.
The words "skank," "hoochie," and "craptastic" are in my Outlook dictionary.
I would trade Clinton's second term for eight years of Dole and none of Bush.
I will do a line of blow off a stripper's ass before I die.
