. Wept under a starless moon Consumed within a wave of grief Taking corners beyond speed Blurred surreal ideality Heaved a sigh of vision Pierced the latitude of perception As it enters and exits my wound That will not heal
Hide the bloom amongst the fractured esteem. Hostility rising to the surface, beauty within the seam. Internal hemorrhage beating at the door. Keeping the floodgates closed, a neverending chore. Tune out the chaos, committee in my head. Encase my skull with grappling hands, screaming till its red. Release the bloom to dream, an ageless rendezvous. Only to awake to see, how its pathetically untrue. Bloom once gloriously free, now caged and inhibited. Petals fall to the wind, denying the beauty within thats hid.
Broken beyond a point of repair Panoramic spiral to place of no return Hands flow parallel past my chest Pushing the evil away Circumventing the aura around meUnfathomable weight takes my air Shouting voices of which I cant discern Tears that roll of a sobless unrest Nothing more to say Droning auto-pilot has become of meUnguided and otherwise unfair Knowing life had its downs and turns Melancholy put to the test My Darkest hour fades Alive alas in limbo wandering to seeKarma inflicted pains my heart to tear Rips a bleeding wound open to learn Theres more to the mess Hidden in my ways Misplaced there is no way to fix me
Aimlessly wandering down a solemn road of dread Scathing thoughts of heartless footsteps I have tread Motionless it seems my heart concealed in frozen time You grasped my soul, poured out the bile, released a glimmer insideTeeth that had snapped and gnarled now barred a silly grin Sickened dead eyes of hell began to sparkle a glimmer within Skeletal hands that once clawed all the screaming voices away Warmly embraced a softer skin and a new place for my head to layDelusional amidst a dream of beauty and solitude Wanting so much to believe in dreams that do come true Solemnly I view the road that still runs out before me Wondering forever lamenting, the me, he never knew
Driven...........Release me for a moment of oblivion Serene and entirely embraced in warmth Flickered in my minds eye, the shadows danced and leapt up the wallI felt you wrapped around me, encased All your strength, All your love ...all my needs It flowed like static energy through me I could feel it, even if you couldntSomething blocks you from the truth Unseen but known in my heart Parallel but painfully broken apart How long can we live like thisStraying further, farther from reality All the places that I should be Waiting lonely complacently somber Solitude leaves insanity to wanderGetting love and then loosing it again After every few days or more My heartaches in the last hour Knowing... always knowingPromise of return leaves me lost Back to the solitude of waiting... So often its not when you say hanging on to that moment was hardWondering if youll show at all Am I good enough, do you want me Am I worth it, it all runs through me I tell myself Im none of thatBut then you appear, making it all good Like a dream, I float in you Your love your warmth I purrrr At this moment I would give you the worldYou can make me feel like a goddess But underneath it all, the reality Of what I am, will keep you walking And perpetuating this nightmareThat starts out like a fairy tale, Once upon a time... But always ends in the same pain Of me watching you leave
Wrapped in the warmth of your embrace Upon your skin, a kiss, my tongue will trace Warm wet circles around your heart My lips meet yours and they part Drawing your mouth into mine The taste of you sweet and brineEntertwined our skin to skin, I feel you A vision inside my head and heart too Tasting your neck, I smell your scent Wishing all that this dream meant Longing, all I want to see Begging to feel you in meTemptation to surround you by feel Only renders a heart to begin to heal Held in a minds gaze of your eyes Im in your arms releasing a sigh A breath held for eternity A release youve given to meDeliver to me what it is you need Your desire and lust for me to heed Plunge yourself inside my soul I pull you to me, as we become whole Embraced in warmth like the sun Finally, You and I are one
Shadows of you flicker on a wall, In a tunnel of my mind, In a sea of tragic glimpses. Seemingly never endless, In the concessions of my wakefulness. I reach out, Only to have my hand slapped back, Again and again, By some matriarchal deity, Ever present in my oppression. Why must it be this way? Solitude...surrender just once, To this blissful moment of peace. That enraptures me, encases me, Embodies me, swaddles...No...bondage... But not in pain, comfort. Inflict pain as you will, It doesn't reach me here...in this place. Your words slip through me as a breath. In....out....heave it in. I swallow it down. Silent for a entirely long moment, As the tear in me builds, Only to gasp for a painful sigh, That releases an unbridled sob. And the tears of my loneliness and oppression, Glide in a dance, Down my face, Across my cheeks, Only to dissipate into the floor... Where they have always gone, To touch no one. Oh, to dream of the day, That just one of my tears Should fall upon your skin. That you would feel everything in me, That is in it, In you. I see a day... From a not so distant past. Bloodied and lain amidst my own, Unconscious yet awake, Wishing it was over. Insistence from others to do against my will. Left me awake and wandering again in solitude. Wouldn't I have been better off left alone? I felt so warm there laying in my own. I watched it flow around me, Felt it encompass me, Felt my clothes become saturated in me As I drifted off, Only to be awakened by shouting voices, In and out of my consciousness. Why must it always be that way? No matter how hard I try, No matter which road I take... Always interference. It was once told to me, That my mess was turned into a message, That needed to be delivered. I have tried to deliver that, In more ways than one, But when will it be my turn? When do I feel something... Something other than....This, This dance with my head like a symphony Builds to the crescendo ....kill me..... Then wallows into ineptness and solitude, Winding around down a road to drowning in loneliness, Then prances up and down, Skips and runs playfully, Laughs in insanity, Kicks its head back in laughter, Then glances around, For who ever maybe watching. Looks for victims to seduce. Grabs at anything it can take with it And begins again like a square dance, To and fro, Back and forth, What you see is what you get... Or is it? Don't look to closely... You may see the strings, or the ace up the sleeve... A silly grin, Barred teeth, Then a gnashed growl...and SNAP I'm biting and another dance begins You got to close and now I'm backing away. How dare you touch my heart!?! Its all your fault. The orchestra enter stage left, Rage rears its ugly head Its all over for you dear child. Who did you think you were to mess with me anyways? Momma gonna knock you out. Fuck you and all you stand for. I see you for what you really are... Or do I, I look down from my self proclaimed pedestal, As the orchestra director. Only to see that I am a hypocrite, And the song remains the same Back to the proverbial drawing board again, Things will never change... And the crescendo builds....kill me....