The King's Feast profile picture

The King's Feast

Where the renaissance takes a left turn!

About Me


"...They're sassy and brassy
and in the King's court, - Laughter Rules!..."

- Providence Monthly
And to show you how "Sassy" and "Brassy" we can be...
The King's Feast
BEST
AUDIENCE
PARTICIPATION PRODUCTION

Motif Magazine's 2007 Theatre Awards
Now that’s what
I’m talkin’ about!

Welcome to our Realm! Every Saturday evening at
The King's Feast
is an evening that you won’t soon forget!
This bawdy renaissance themed vaudeville/cabaret style comedy
brings live interactive theater right into you lap.
Literally!
Right from the moment you are brought into Da King’s Hall,
to when Da King himself says
"Safe home, come back again soon and good night!"
You will be entertained and you will come to love the court.
And if not...
...Blame Bob, everyone else does.
It’s just like blaming Canada, but different.
Come and let us make you laugh and in between the laughter
let us shove food down your throat - and then laugh!
Da King always enjoys seeing someone SNARF!
For reservations to possibly see someone SNARF!
Call the Hose Company No.6 @ 401-722-7220

There is nothing like The King's Feast in our area, see...
"…The King’s Feast is a fun and different night out.
There truly is nothing else like it in this area.
Food, drink, laughter?? "

- The Valley Breeze
So what the hell are you waiting for?
Get your ass over here already and
Let’s FEAST!
For all of you that might be "Renaissance Impaired"
"Let’s Feast" is renaissance lingo for
Let’s PARTY!

My Interests

~ Our Creed ~
"To have a good time, all the time."
- as spoken by Viv Savage from "This Is Spinal Tap"
We at
The Feast
Believe that these are definite words to live by.
Don't you think?

I'd like to meet:

We want to meet you, our "Friends".
We want you to visit us if you’re ever in our Realm and say "Hi".
And if you do visit us at The Feast , just to let you know, if you meet Bob tell him you are a "Friend from MySpace"
and he’ll buy you a drink.
No, really, he will.
He swears.
Then again, he swears a lot so maybe we don’t know what we’re talking about. But in order to find out if he will, you’ll just have to come visit us and ask him yourself.
We want you to come to The Feast and have fun with us because
it’s no fun playing with yourself...
...well, actually it can be...
...but we’re talking about something totally different here!

Da King believes
everyone should get some

LOVE!

Especially...
Janine Lindemulder!
Damn!
That was out loud wasn’t it?


Well since that is what he believes and his word is LAW.
Every week we randomly rotate our "Top 40"
HA! I feel like Casey Kasem...No, not really.
We do this to support our "Friends" and if you're a band we'll put your music on our player.....
~ Song of the Week ~
"You Like Pain" by Lick Me To Death
Ah, those wacky Brits....they're so...British...

So enough talking...
For more information go to our website


www.kingsfeast.com
"Where the renaissance takes a left turn!"


~ Performance Dates ~
~ Every Saturday - All Year Round ~
Saturday, February 2nd
Okay guys, you've got 2 different dates to choose from since we're not performing
on Valentines Day, because it's a Thursday.
If you choose the 9th you can tell her that you're celebrating early...
So you don't have to worry about FORGETTING the 14th,
you've already taken care of it.
Saturday, February 9th
...And if you do FORGET the 14th,
you can tell her that you were saving this as a surprise...
See, we're helping a brother out here!
Saturday, February 16th
Saturday, February 23rd

And just so you can't say we didn't warn you...

And WHY
are we rated PG-13???

Hey, it's a "Live" performance, sometimes they slip out.

Music:

We know it sounds cliché,
but we enjoy anything that entertains us or makes us go
"HMMMMMM".
Whether it be music, movies, television or books.
Either educational, dramatic, comedies, action, horror or others,
we enjoy all of these things.....
...oh yeah, and anything with lots of T&A in it.Basically we enjoy anything with an
ATTITUDE!

If it makes you want to dance, then DANCE!
If it makes you want to sing, then SING!
If it makes you want to go out and break something,
Then make sure it's something of yours and not someone elses!
Don't touch my stuff!

Plus that's just mean and as we all know
Mean People Suck!

Movies:

We know it sounds cliche but anything that entertains you or makes you go "Hmmmm", whether it be educational, dramatic, comedy, action, horror or others.....oh yeah, and anything with lots of T&A in it.

Television:

Same as above.
What? You expected something different?

Books:

"How To Overcome Your Fears By Making Other People Fear You"

Shakespeare For The Illiterate Moron (a/k/a SIMs)

Wenchmopolitan

Heroes:

We do have "Heros" at The Feast
And they are such people as...
* The drunk who can lie on the floor without holding on...
* One who can learn from their parents' mistake
and use birth control...
* Anyone who realizes that everyone has a right to be stupid and accepts the fact that some just abuse the privilege...
So you see, there are many that we look up to.
Well, just to keep it short and simple (Too late!)
we will just sum it down to this one basic, simple, mundane belief.
Our Hero's are...
~The Last One Standing~
*The above portrait is a detailed description of what Da King's appearance is
when he goes on "Crusade"
As explained to the Royal Artist by Da King himself....
...Some of us know different....
But "MAN-LAW" states that we cannot divulge such information unless -
1) We are incredibly shnookered in front of the wrong gathering of guests and just shouting out anything that comes to mind...
~ OR ~
2) We are cornered by Da Queen grilling us for information about Da King's "Crusades" and we find that we don't have our poison pill in our ring
for just such emergencies.
Other than that - That's what Da King looks like on "Crusade".
AND THAT'S HIS STORY AND HE'S STICKING TO IT!

The King
Does know that there are far greater deeds
that go above and beyond his own calling.
Because of unforeseen events that arise through out our lives,
the actions that follow these occurrences,
forever will remind him that we are all just human beings, no matter what status.
And it's these said actions of others that show the rest of us,
what a true "HERO" is."
If you would like more information about this incredible cause, please click below
Station Family Fund
-----------------------------------------------------
Here's a little taste from
The King's Feast
To wet your appetite.
Phoebe and the Phoebetts - Wyld Mountain Time

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Da King's Dinner Speech - King Malcolm

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This is the tail end of King Malcolm's Speech.
If you want to get the full effect then...

GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO
The Feast!

My Blog

Station Fire Family Fund Concert, February 25th

VH1 CLASSIC AND VH1 ON BOARD TO TELEVISE "VH1 CLASSIC PRESENTS: AFTERMATH: THE STATION FIRE FIVE YEARS LATER"   ONE-HOUR SPECIAL WILL ALSO SHARE SURVIVOR'S STORIES ON EASTER SUNDAY, MARCH 23 ...
Posted by The King's Feast on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:23:00 PST

You know you're good when...

You finish the Feast for an evening and just to keep you from ending the show, the audience starts throwing money at you to tell jokes... ...or stuffs the money in YOUR bodice... ...or has you pu...
Posted by The King's Feast on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 01:09:00 PST

The Unofficial Horror Movie Survival Guide

So here it is.... THE UNOFFICIAL HORROR MOVIE SURVIVAL GUIDE!!! We though you guys might like this.  Since it's Halloween and since some of you see me always quoting out of it.  Now here's t...
Posted by The King's Feast on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:55:00 PST

It's been a while...been busy, busy, busy.

Okay, so it's been a while since I've said something other than, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THE SHOW ALREADY!!! But I mean that with love, really. I'm listening to Voltaire "When You're Evil" on my...
Posted by The King's Feast on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 12:16:00 PST

It's BLOG-TIME

It's BLOG-TIME!! And I've got.....nuttin'....   For all you that are stuck in an "Office Enviroment" at the moment remember this:   Rome did not create a great empire by having meeting...
Posted by The King's Feast on Mon, 27 Mar 2006 12:11:00 PST

I'm posting my bulletin as my blog.....

.....Why?  Because I'm a lazy Mic!!  That's why I can make fun of them!What? Bob T. Jester is Irish???You bet your ass I am and it's amazing how many more people become Irish on St. Patrick'...
Posted by The King's Feast on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 07:20:00 PST

Hmmmm.....rumors? Maybe.....

So my ears have perked up recently upon a new rumor that is running through our tiny kingdom.  It is being said that Da King that is returning this weekend might be a new one.  I've heard it...
Posted by The King's Feast on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 11:51:00 PST

Valentine's Day

So.....what are you going to do about Valentine's Day this year?  Why not let us get "Medieval" on your ass?! It would be something different that's for sure.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can ge...
Posted by The King's Feast on Wed, 25 Jan 2006 01:20:00 PST

The King's Feast

So here I am; Bob T. Jester wondering what the hell I'm doing here.  Basically what I'm doing is bringing "Da King" into the 21st century.  Does this sound completely friggin' stupid?  ...
Posted by The King's Feast on Wed, 11 Jan 2006 09:41:00 PST