Food and things, not necessarily in that order.
I say "That's how I roll" a lot. People like to be smart and ask me how, exactly, do I roll...well here is the answer.
Simply put, I am the baddest mother of all time. I eat rocks and shit lightning bolts. One time I was walking through the forest looking for hippies to use as firewood, when a wild boar crossed my path. Big mistake. I lifted the boar into the air with my mind, turned him around, and digested him telekenetically. And I wasn't even that hungry.
I am a world champion in tae kwon do, kick boxing, sumo wrestling, tae bo, ju jitsu, pad thai, lo mein, tekken, and I hold a certificate of participation in the national spelling bee. I have virtually no weakness.
Here is a list of my favorite foods:
-WHISKEY
Sometimes when I get tired of whiskey I'll eat bread, cheese, some tomato sauce, and a handful of basil, which sounds like pizza, but it's not because I don't want to give the Italians the credit. Every now and then, I'll sit down and eat an entire plate of sausage and onions for no reason.
I usually start my day bright and early at the crack of noon. I gargle some whiskey and floss my teeth with steel wool. Then I eat a bowl of dynamite, take a massive two-flush megashit, and wipe my ass using intercepted letters to Santa Claus.
Then after breakfast, I go through my mail, using the Spear of Destiny as a letter opener. I like to stay up on not only current events, but future ones as well, so that I can ruin the endings to new Harry Potter books before they are even written.
Once, I read this news peice about a man who was executed for treason. This bothered me, because I embody everything that is, was, and ever will be American. I think treason is the worst crime of all. I'm so patriotic that when I'm interrupted during sex, I get red, white, and blue balls. So when I read about this traitor, I killed myself just so I could go to hell. I found him in hell and ripped his face off, and I use it as a loincloth to this day. Then I resurrected myself, went to lunch, and paid for my meal using exact change.
That's how I roll.
super-chill people.
Girls who watch WWE are hot.
Here's a bunch of pictures with me in them:
Oh, see the monkey!
..
adopt your own virtual pet!
..
cool people hate my music
yeah i like the crappy stuff
when there's something good on, I won't change the channel.
mostly magazines and cook books these days but this dude loves a good read.
I have so many, fictional and real life. I'm fortunate to know most of my heroes on a personal basis. I think there's a little heroism in all of us. Except Dr. Victor Von Doom. That guy's all villain.