Ogdens Nut

Believe it or not, I was the bizzare and accidental result of an illeagal lab experiment that went completely wrong. On one cold and frosty morning a carefully picked selection of cloaked rogues set about attempting to genetically recreate a pair of mountain Yetis Testicles for reasons unknown. As this process was in action, one of the technicians became increasing horny because of his secret lust for mountain creatures and decided to retire out back for a quick shifty one. Once he had finished the deed he swifty moved back into the lab in order to carry out the rest of his work; I don't know if it was his haste upon entering the lab that led to the bizzare series of events that followed ,but, as he trawled in some semen from his coat entered the Yeti chemical mix. The semen had a malevelant reaction to the other chemicals and began to instantly bubble and fume; I've been told it was one of the greatest pyrotechnic displays in history. The mad scientists escaped the lab as a defening explosion and sonic boom echoed through the land devestating everything in it's path. When the smoke cleared and the land fell sinisterly quiet once again, a comically large pair of yetis bollocks appeared in the haze, however, to my unfortunate luck I was attatched to the end of them, there I lay a new born with two beach balls attatched to me with a scrotum like a scrambled egg !I was kindly taken in by the quirky, loveable, chain smoking granny Dot Cotton and she taught me how to walk with my bollocks in a wheel barrow with dignity and pride. The rest is a long, ardous story but now I have fully functional human sized gonads, I can speak conversational cockeny and have aquired the art of smoking a cigarette all the way down to the but without flicking any ash !!!Stop breaking my balls !p.s I hate poodles, what's the fucking point of them !