Mattress O Malley - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am a man known by many names, The Almighty Toe Snatcher, Mattress O' Malley, Patrick Packin-Punches, but most people call me Studdly Hot Lips...or Matt. Although any one of which would work just fine! Pretty interesting. Hmm...I have a beautiful girlfriend by the name of Sam . She's sexy. I apologize to all you sex-crazed 14-year-old girls out there. And if you think that I'm your boyfriend/love interest/friend/whatever just because some douche with my pictures on some site says so, I highly suggest that you down a hefty glass of bleach, or go punch your mother for not aborting you when she had the chance!

I'm generally pretty damn happy, somewhat nice person with a non-british sense of humor, I think. I tend to make light out of all situations, mainly trying to entertain myself. That, and I hate drama with a passion. Damn drama. This causes a lot of people to think I'm an asshole. If you have no sense of humor, or you're british, it would be wise that you leave this page and slam your head into the nearest wall.

Anyways, I'm currently going to school for radio broadcasting. It's pretty snazzy. Although, I do pretty much spend my days drawing, head-butting stationary objects, knitting sweaters, and lighting the homeless on fire. Ah, good times.

If you want to know more about me, send me a message... or better yet, drink engine coolant. Ah...delicious!

My Interests

Count Chocula, Batman, Drawing, Video Games, Resident Evil (video game series), Monster Energy, Serial Killers, Transformers, Astronomy, Horror and Comedy Movies, Coffee, Concerts, Sam, Catching the homeless on fire, Stand-Up Comedy, Hugging diseased people, Cartoons, George Carlin, Bass guitars, Music, Zombies, Porn, Midgets, Sex...etc

I'd like to meet:

Music:

Dope, Alice Cooper, Orgy, Murderdolls, Wednesday 13, gODHEAD, Breaking Benjamin, Cold, Ill Nino, MegaDeth, Flaw, DVDA, ICP, Type O Negative, Cradle of Filth, Guns N' Roses, NIN, The Offspring, Union Underground, Mushroomhead, Powerman 5000, Beatles, Rammstein, Manson, Metallica, Pink Floyd...and many more!

Movies:

American Psycho, Batman, Batman Begins, Debbie Does Dallas, Friday the 13th, Hard Rock Zombies, Scary Movie, Hostel, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, the Simpsons Movie, Spider-Man, BASEketball, Anchorman, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Orgazmo, Cannabal: The Musical, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 300, Hot Shot! part one and deux, Se7en, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Team America: World Police, Saw, The Crow, Detroit Rock City, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Kung-Pow...and so much more...more than you can shake a stick at!

Television:

Dexter, Sesame Street, SpongeBob, Beavis and Butthead, Futurama, South Park, Drawn Together, The Munsters, Oprah, the Twilight Zone, Penn and Teller Bullshit, Transformers, the Simpsons, Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Tales from the Crypt...

Books:

Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, Dearly Devoted Dexter, The Zombie Survival Guide, The Alphabet of Manliness, The Cat in The Hat

Heroes:

Optimus Prime, Dexter Morgan, and Batman

My Blog

Myspace pet things

Please stop sending me those stupid pet things. I will delete all the comments I get concerning them. It's very annoying. I'm not even sure what they are, I thought they were spam but it terns out tha...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Fri, 02 May 2008 11:44:00 PST

Just a thought...

So I was just looking around here on myspace, being cool and not a loser. Ya know? Anyways, I just had a thought about the "children" section in the "background and lifestyles" section. &nb...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:12:00 PST

Does everyone really work desk jobs?

I've been noticing this for a while. All forms of media lead me to believe this, and when I say "all forms of media" I mean internet and tv, which is only two. Hmm...I seem to have left out radio, new...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:04:00 PST

Enough with the Beatles songs!!!

Back in the day the Beatles made some pretty snazzy songs, such as "why don't we do it in the road?" and others, but today their songs are used for every single damn product. From c...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 06:35:00 PST

Oh no Wii

Before I say anything, let me get one thing clear. Video games kick ass. I bought a Wii a couple months after it's release and have grown a decent collection of games, but one thing...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Sun, 03 Feb 2008 05:59:00 PST

Rude ugly people

I understand that ugly people exist. I know there is a need for them, like to make people like me look better and such. Hardy har har. In all honesty though if you are ugly, you can...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:59:00 PST

Stupid things stupid people say

There's a lot of stupid people out there. Even more than I can shake a stick at, and surprisingly every single one of them thinks that they are comedians or feel like they hav...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:04:00 PST

Thingies

So in the past week or so stuff happened. I know. It's amazing!Anyways, my piece of shit car decided to stop moving, so I'm on the look out for a new one. That car has been a non-stop pain in the ass ...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:10:00 PST

Things that piss me off

At the Mushroomhead concert, some huge dumb ass in a "woody's poker room" shirt was all trying to be cool during the Psyclone 9 set trying to mosh as shit. Pushing and running into people and be...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 07:32:00 PST

Gay , yet interesting survey guy

..>WrathWho did you last get angry with?Some homeless dude on the street.What is your weapon of choice?Whatever I can find, usually an elderly person.Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?Only wi...
Posted by Mattress O Malley on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 06:22:00 PST