†Amatteus†™ profile picture

†Amatteus†™

Only the lonely will know.. How it feels to decay.. She cries, inside tonight.. We won't die..

About Me

"I have long hair, and see, people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use, like 'an extreme longing for cake'. People would see a guy with long hair and say "damn, that fucker eats cake, he's on bundt cake". Mothers telling their daughters "don't bring the cake-eater over here anymore, he smells like flour. Did you notice how his eyes widened when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?" - Mitch HedburgAnd I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well, Don't you see? I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue.. I wasnt born, so much as i fell out about 22 years ago....
Have had the strangest feeling of being here before, like constant deja vu.... Bit of a gemini with a split personality, only twice as bad....it can be a bit disturbing to some people or those who say i run 'hot and cold'.. Its just a different facet that makes up the whole....
Guess im a troubled dissillusioned minded guy, unusual and breathing, literate and stylish, kissable and quiet (isnt that what girls dreams are made of?)
Id rather be hated for who i am...than loved for who im not.. spend my time wondering why life is the way it is.. Spend time chilling out, drinking, drawing tattoos, cartoons, graffitti, playing guitar and writing lyrics and quoting lyrics i love..
Researching Paganism and its paths, reading books on the occult, Shamanism and earth based religions and the Maya's and aztecs.. we're all outta here in 2012.. :)
Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve? Its time to drag your tongue across the sugar cube and hope you get a taste...“If there is one thing that I learned, one thing I've taken away from this whole fucking terrible experience is that your friends are the most important thing in your life; after shows, after MTV, after fucking myspace, and after all the bullshit is over; your friends are gonna be the only ones still there. so treat them like gold."Anthony Raneri, Bayside.

..

My Interests

Playing/learning guitar, Listening to music, reading, drawing.. getting abso-bleeding-lutely wasted with friends.. but may have to cut back on that as i may have ruined a few relationships the past weekend.. *sigh* Being witty and sarcastic about people having temporary bus stops in their front room ;)

I'd like to meet:

Jimi Hendrix.. My inspiration behind playing guitar.. He made it look so easy?! Anthony Raneri, Jack O'Shea, Nick Ghanbarian, Chris Guglielmo, Matt Skiba, for keeping my passion for music going.. Fall out Boy, Billy Talent, Yellowcard and Panic! At the disco to throw an AMAZING house party with.. Bill Hicks and John Wayne to grab a drink in a smoky bar with while discussing life, love and the state of the world... Brody Dalle & Angelina jolie to jump in the jacuzzi with.. *yummy* Girls with crazy hair and tattoos.. who can melt my heart with a sweet caring look, can excite my soul with a gentle touch, drive me wild with passion when she whispers sweet nothings, calm me down with a warm hug when i need it most.... but also party like theres no tomorrow, share in the pain of hangovers with me, kick my ass when ive been a fool.. whether its because something i did, or didnt do.. I fall in love hard sometimes so my knees and palms are scarred and bloody... Waiting - You MUST see this film!! Dave Chappelle.. Comic genius..

Music:

Bayside, Alkaline Trio, Three Days Grace, Heavens, Head Automatica, Bullet for My valentine, The Clash, A.F.I, Fall out boy, Nural, Dj Quik, Tha Liks, Suga Free, Ice Cube, Bob Marley, Damian Marley, Matisyahu, Bedouin Soundclash, Armor for Sleep, Drivers Side Impact, Stone Sour, The academy is.. Panic! at the disco, Aiden, Trivium, 36 Crazyfists, Amen, Auf Der Maur, Blink 182, The Distillers, Element Eighty, Funeral For a friend, HIM, Jimi Hendrix, Lost Prophets, My Chemical Romance, Glassjaw, Thursday, Papa Roach, Skindred, Slipknot, The Used, Taking back sunday, Cute is what we aim for, The Cure, Capleton, Squeeze, The Twang, The Fray, Madina Lake, Stephen Lynch... Many many more. Mainly punk and emo with a little bit of dance, and jungle, and reggae..

Movies:

Sin city, Reservoir dogs, Harold and Kumar, Hellboy, Evil dead Trilogy, Revolver, Lock stock, snatch, Constantine, Spiderman 1&2, Nightwatch, Friday, Next Friday, Friday after next, 6 Degrees of seperation, Donnie Darko, Brick, Kill Bill 1&2, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob strike back..
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Television:

Lost, Scrubs, Teachers, CSI, Shameless, Viva La bam, Dirty Sanchez.. any stand up comedy :)

Books:

The Divine Comedy, Hamlet, Preacher, Transmetropolitan, Sin City, Charlottes Web, The Celestine Prophecy, Angels and Demons, Hard Bolied wonderland, Constantine.

Heroes:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Nelson Mandela

My Blog

Waking up Alone..

Chapter 1. The ringing in my head didn't stop when i opened my eyes, fluorescent white light burns the inside of my head, right behind my eyes, my pupils shrink.. as if they were insecure, borderli...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Mon, 13 Aug 2007 04:07:00 PST

What does your name REALLY mean???

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Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Fri, 25 May 2007 08:11:00 PST

Upcoming shows!!

  +44 - 3rd Feb 2007 - **Fucking rawked** Got the +44 pic too :) Billy Talent - 17th Feb 2007 - **Amazing and energetic, Enter Shikari kicked ass too!!** Bayside - April 23rd 2007 - As always, Pu...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 07:23:00 PST

Drowning in Desire..

Its hard stopping myself praying, to either Heaven or Hell, To see your body bathed in warm sunlight as i walk along this beach, your sweet smile so beautiful, your pretty eyes seen once you look bene...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 02:08:00 PST

Kill me.. Please..

God i am hating today.. just when you get rid of self pity, self loathing kicks in.. Why do we continue to just be.. why do our thoughts torment us and conjure up images that grate against our very so...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 07:57:00 PST

*sigh*

Been on top of the world since about six months ago, Marking the first time I laid eyes on you. I lost all train of thought as I entered the room, Saw what looked like really good food then I saw you ...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 04:24:00 PST

Random thoughts..

Mingle with misery, dance with despair, ripped from the roots feel their broken fingers pulling ur hair Hang out with hatred, smell the blood in the air, as I lost all contact I lost all care Dive i...
Posted by †Amatteus†™ on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:49:00 PST